To think this level of saving is extreme and I’m right to question it?

The really odd thing here, I'd say, is that he has £77K in savings and a mortgage. Wouldn't be do better to pay the mortgage down?

I don't think his level of saving is a problem though. But if you've got very different expectations of your joint lifestyle I can see it might cause problems. I'd say talk to him about that, rather than about the saving as such.

Perhaps he's been freaked out by Labour's new rules regarding tenant's rights? If you get bad tenants, that stop paying rent, you're in for a world of pain.

My wife's parents are sitting on a property in London that they won't rent out because of all the changing rules. I think a lot of 'accidental landlords' will be in the same position.

We don't know how long his property has been empty. If this is a fairly new relationship, then it seems prudent to keep the home available in case things don't work out.

How old is he and what is his pension situation?

DH has had to save a lot for a while because he had a patch in his career with no pension contributions so had to make up for it.

Unfortunately £100k wouldn't last long if you had to live on it and pay for carers.

The reason he can save so much is because he makes frugal decisions. Good on him.

Yes he could stay at expensive hotels occasionally but then he wouldn't have savings.

If you feel he is taking advantage of cheap living with you, & you are subsidising him, that is another thing. Work out what half of the bills are together & he can pay that. He shouldn't object to a fair split & he can afford to cover his cost of living.

Regardless of whether he's a cocklodger, I know his house is his property but I couldnt get over someone who was turning down potential rental income every month by refusing to let it, unless there's some massive problem with the house that OP hasn't mentioned. What a waste.

But you are subbing him by allowing him to live rent free

Nonsense. £100k could be gone in an instant with ill health, redundancy, economic depression, etc.

Perhaps you need to do a personal finance course.

Also £77K is not nearly £100K from a cash flow standpoint. It's about 3/4.

Sane here. He's prudent. £77K isn't all that much.

Yanbu.

Im close to dumping a friend who recently forced reorganisation of someone else’s birthday meal from one venue to another for the sake of about a fiver saved. I guarantee you this is the kind of person who will turn around in 20 years time and gift a trust fund to their child for uni and house buying. No issue with the latter but don’t feign poverty and piss on others enjoyment in the interim period.

Sounds like he's hedging his bets. He could be covering his mortgage payments (and potentially more, depending on where you live) by letting out his house. It's a faff to get going with a bit of outlay (c. £5k or less for certs and regs) but pretty straightforward after that. That would free up a big chunk of his income for spending (or probably more saving!). Unfortunately, it makes it trickier to just walk out the door on a Tuesday, go back to his own home and never be seen again.

I can't stand tightness and your partner would drive me mad. I would much rather enjoy my life and spend what I want if I have the money.

Is he also saving into a pension separately?

If not, then this seems a sensible sum to be saving for pension (although he should be saving it into a pension fund not a regular savings accounts to maximize benefits)

the OP hasn’t in fact said the house is empty.

you also seem to be confused about how one accrues property rights.

the OP has in fact explicitly stated she saves at a rate of about 50% of which he does. She could close that gap if she wasn’t having to sub him.

but other than that, great input

@Abitboring Some ISA investment funds have averaged 15pc annual returns over the past decade. Tax free.

Most people aren't aware of these funds because they are surrounded by daft people who also are not aware of these funds. I didn't really find out how to invest until 3 years ago.

What? Putting money into a savings account is not investing. Some ISA investment funds have averaged 15pc annual returns over the past decade. Tax free.

I made 12pc last year. Don't leave your money in the bank.

@ITru Your DP may earn a whopping salary of £3800, but managing to save £1500 of that and live on a much more modest £2300 is extremely impressive.

Your DP sounds like an intelligent person who is made of tougher stuff than most people. I try to be frugal, but I would struggle to be frugal on that same level.

He can't be bothered to rent his house out, he can't be bothered to invest or spend his money, he can't be bothered to do housework so he lives with OP?

Err, how was this your takeaway? 😆😆

This isn’t weird to me. I grew up pretty poor and can’t get out of the habit of saving no matter what I earn. My take home pay is £2,600 and I save around £1,200 a month. I’m also the only person in my friendship group who brought a house without parental support with an 80k deposit. I just can’t spend on fancy stuff, it always feels wrong. And it does feel like a shame but saving takes away a lot of anxiety for me

Maybe he just wants as easy a life as possible?
He can't be bothered to rent his house out, he can't be bothered to invest or spend his money, he can't be bothered to do housework so he lives with OP?

@randomfemthinker I don’t see the subbing thing either.

And I'd prefer to stay in my own lovely home that I chose.

I think its not reasonable if he doesnt pay anything towards housing.
Its not possible to tell from your OP if he is really being too tight as not wanting to splesh out on holidays and fine restaurant could easily be reasonable, depending on what exactly it means in your daily life. People have different views on what is reasonable to spend on days out, eating out etc.

I'm quite surprised at the replies saying OP is "subbing" him. If two people both are paying mortgages on their own houses and decide to live in one house of the two, why would it be expected one then pays for two properties as in mortgage and rent on top of it? I don't get it. It's clearly the better deal then just to move the partner into your own house according to this line of thinking over two people making this choice for themselves as a couple. It would be different if the partner was renting the other house out and keeping it all and a 50/50 split of rental profit to the house they live in would be fair. I also don't agree with charging "rent money over market rent" to a partner, anyway as they don't happen to be lucky enough to own a house, too. Sharing the bills is fair, though.

OP, I hear you. It seems like he's hoarding too much money relative to the quality of life between you that should be or what you most want. Your issue definitely isn't "you're subbing him" as you've stated many times, it's navigating around getting your biggest needs met over you say, wanting a bigger holiday than camping or a meal different to feeling like you're having to penny pinch when you as a couple, shouldn't need to. I would suggest maybe you make a fun date over it as five things that matter to you both. Share you'd love a good holiday or whatever else and then maybe he might open up more about his fears of having a certain amount of savings? Together you can do this. Best of luck x

Some people are just frugal. Just because you can afford to spend money on certain things doesn't mean you necessarily want to if you don't think they are good value or needed.

Then there's gifts, inheritance etc.

If you want a big savings pot, it can be done.

Well inheritances & gifts certainly make saving a big pot easier but it’s not quite the same as saving from income alone.