To think this level of saving is extreme and I’m right to question it?

Are you saying that he owns a house which he neither lives in nor rents out. It just sits there empty?

He doesn’t sound frugal to the point of being mean or miserly so this wouldn’t bother me.

But not renting out an empty house doesn’t seem financially savvy at all.

His house is just stood empty he is living rent free in another house, saving like mad and going on camping trips to save money! There are ways that partners can pay rent and house owners be protected. If he paid money to OP she might be able to save a bit too. It’s bonkers

He's not that good with money if he's just leaving a house empty. That's mad,

Really if you break this down into an emergency fund of 6-12 months, a pot towards a future house purchase and money towards an early retirement it’s not really crazy money in each pot.

This is the time in his life where he probably has the most income relative to outgoings and dependants so it makes sense to save more.

I agree re the middle ground!
It doesn’t have to be one extreme (bad with money, in loads of debt) to the other (a super saver).
If this was my financial situation I’d probably want to save £1000 and have that other £500 a month for nice things. And you probably wouldn’t need the full £500 every month, but maybe summer holidays, Christmas and birthdays, more of a splurge would be lovely for sure!

He can do what he wants with his money, you’re not married.

Does he have a pension? Could he be planning for an early retirement? That would be perfectly reasonable wouldn’t it?

Why doesn’t he rent his property out if he lives with you?

Long term renting it out should make sense - but landlords rules are about to change and being a landlord may not be want this guy wants to do - he just may not want the hassle of it all.

Fwiw, the fact that I saved like this means that now, as an unexpectedly single woman in her 50s, I can do a job that I enjoy 3 days pw and still have cash for a decent social life and some holidays, rather than the drudgery I'd have been stuck with if I'd built a lifestyle to match my income.

If it's possible, I recommend it.

I had an ex years ago who was the same. We were friends before we got together and are still friends now, but I couldn't cope with his attitude to money. It also bored me. He'd like to try again I know, but absolutely not.

Great job, big salary. Also had a weekend job. Owned his house outright in a very nice part of London (inheritance). He had mega-savings.

This was years ago, he's now 61 and has never been beyond Europe. & then only to Europe say every 10 years. No car. Rarely eats out. He's not lived, his life is so small. I do feel sorry that he can't spend his money to treat and enjoy himself. But if he wants to be the richest man in the graveyard that's his lookout.

I hope you resolve this OP as it's no fun whatsoever to live with.

Yeah, as others have said, you ARE subbing him. It just seems absolutely mental, to the point of not really being believable, that he's got a whole house he's paying a mortgage on, that nobody lives in. What on earth would be the point of that? It's not even a good idea having a property just sitting fallow.

But also yeah, the miserliness would put me off. It's just not something I would find attractive. I know some people do, and they find joy in wearing their clothes until they fall apart and buying the cheapest of everything, but that's absolutely not for me. I also don't know many people who can afford to save almost half of what they're earning. Can YOU, OP? If not, and your boyfriend somehow can, then perhaps you need to ask yourself why that is?

It seems a weird way of doing things. Imo he should rent out his property and then either give you half of his profit or pay half your mortgage as rent. If he did that he wouldn’t need to save as much from
his income?

Yes but there’s middle ground isn’t there? Living with your DP rent free which enables you to save loads is a bit cheeky.

It's probably like IL neighbour sat there in case it's needed if they split up - to store his stuff and for occasional night they want apart to have his post sent to - till they are in place they want to live together - which may not be what Op wants.

Send him home then. You really are, his costs are minimal while he lives with you.

He needs to make up the single person discount at the very least. Is he doing that?

Yes, I wouldn't consider less than a year's salary and less than (likely) the debt on my house, security.

You might not be on the same wavelength financially and that's going to be a problem, but I don't think that makes you right and him wrong.

Fundamentally, you don't have the same attitude towards money and that's a massive problem for a good relationship.

Reading your posts I can't help thinking that if he was saving £1000 a month you'd be saying "why can't he save £800?".

So does he has an empty house and lives in yours? Why?

This!

Why are people struggling to understand that they both own their own houses. Assuming one is mostly empty (his) and they stay at OPs most of the time. So no, he wouldn't be contributing to her mortgage. Just some towards bills and food?

Maybe he’s saving for early retirement? For an investment property?
I don’t think he’s being selfish. I think he’s planning for the future.

If you have the money to split a fancy holiday etc why not just suggest that? or why don’t you pay for it?

The OP really doesnt seem concerned about this. Perhaps there are other factors that we dont know about...

I would rather my partner was a big saver than a big spender who was in debt.

How would OP's outgoings plunge? She'd still have her house to pay for.

It is a little confusing.

If he isn’t renting out his house, and he lives in yours full time- what is the purpose of his house? Is it just sat empty?

If he’s that bothered about having so much money, could he not sell his house and the two of you make your house your shared home? He lives there anyway. He’d be absolutely wadded then, so wouldn’t necessarily need to save as much as £1500 a month, and the pair of you could splurge a bit more and enjoy going out/doing nice things.

That's a good point.