To think this level of saving is extreme and I’m right to question it?

I am trying to work out if he is a miser / tight with money &/or if you are a spendthrift - both scenarios are bad BTW.

If he is a miser, get rid, people who get joy from actively not spending money are just not fun to be around.
Has something happened in his life which would make him feel he needs lots of savings? Has he been homeless? Was his childhood moving from rental to rental? If there's anything like this that has happened, I can see why he might want lots of savings 'just in case'

There are some things in your posts that infer you might like to throw money at 'stuff' - be it meals out, holidays etc. Sounds like you want the highlife when it may not be needed (or sustained)

It just sounds that both of you have different attitudes to money. If you can't get on the same page, this relationship might be futile

I wonder about the UK education system. His house is not rented - it's said no more than half a dozen times. Yes, he doesn't pay her "rent"- presumably because he is paying his own mortgage just as she is paying hers. He has no claim on her house. He is not saving any more money because he stays in her house when he splits the food and heating with her though both of them are splitting the heating of one house rather than having to heat two houses. I suppose you might say that there is more wear and tear on her property with both of them living there but it's not actually costing her anything. If they broke up, he'd be living back at his house, paying the mortgage, paying for his own food and probably a bit more for utilities. She'd be in her house paying the mortgage, paying for her own food and and probably a bit more for utilities. It would only be unfair if he was renting out his house and living rent-free in hers.

I can't imagine what would compel me to go camping - the only realistic scenario is if I am one of the survivors of a nuclear holocaust when I am holed up with my fellow survivors in some remote region. No, I don't go with all that stuff about cheap meals being delicious and fancy meals being a waste of money - I want white table cloths, comfortable chairs, well spaced tables, well trained waiters and lot of delicious courses and ambiance! I think there is a happy medium about spending money. I have holidays that don't involve tents and expensive birthday dinners but also save by economising in other ways such as by keeping my ancient car which is very mechanically sound and very thrifty to run. I suppose it is really a question of priorities and it doesn't sound like your priorities align.

It may not be extreme but maybe you could have a chat with him about whether he'd be comfortable on sometimes spending a little more to have a nicer time, for example on special occasions like your birthday. If he's that wedded to the 1500 per month, maybe he can go to 1550 and save the 50s for some discretionary spending?
Is he contributing to electricity as well?

If you are housing him for peanuts and saving HIM money while not treating you - I would think very hard about the relationship. What is he saving for? If you are enabling him to save for a house while you struggle, kick him to touch

I don't think he should necessarily be contributing to your mortgage, if it was my house I'd rather pay it on my own. So paying half the bills seems fine to me. Then you both have a property that is completely yours. Perhaps he's not interested in 'swanky' things? I would love to be able to save that sort of money, so that I could have more freedom in the future rather than have to work into my sixties. But I'm not particularly keen on really expensive restaurants or really posh hotels, they're not what I look for in an ideal holiday. Maybe he's the same? It's probably best that you communicate better - how did you end up going camping if you didn't want to? You should have suggested something in-between camping and the heights of luxury, maybe?

You said he had 77K, while that's a lot it isn't close to100K. Which is correct? It sounds like you're not very compatible financially. There is no right or wrong here, you both have different priorities and different views on this. It's not unreasonable for him to want to save that much and it's not unreasonable for you to have differing financial priorities. If anything I save too little. He's making financial choices I wouldn't make but that doesn't mean they're unreasonable. Even if he was being unreasonable it wouldn't change anything. The solution is still to talk and listen to each other's points of view and then try and work out a compromise you can both live with. If he or you or both of you aren't willing to move your positions at all then you'll need to decide if you can live with this or it's a deal breaker.

Of course you’re subbing him - he’s living in your house rent free.

what is going on with his house? Presumably it’s not empty so who is living there and what’s the financial advantage to him of whatever the scenario is.

I would be miffed if the only holiday on offer was camping if you could afford something else, and you were frugal about the restaurants you ate at if there is sufficient disposable income to upgrade slightly

Exactly - the savings ratio across the whole country for all adults is an average of 11%.

So anyone past the early stages of their career (as someone taking home £3,800 a month probably is)without children should be saving multiples of that. Because they won't have been for the first 5/10 years, and they won't be for the 20 or so years they are potentially bringing up children in the future.

From a 50 year working lifetime, 30 years will not give much opportunity to save anywhere near even the average of 11%, so for the peak years of earning early (as this couple seem to be at) and pre retirement, you need to be saving a lot more.

Even arithmetically, to get to an average of 11% if 30 out of 50 years is only at 5% saving rate, the other 20 years need to be at 20%. And of course the average includes a great swathe of lower earners that don't save anything at all.

If you want to retire at 60ish, you potentially only have 40 years. So at peak you would need to save over 30% Maybe £1,500 is a bit high, but not abnormally so I wouldn't think, given age / earning power / stage in life.

So he's living with you but just leaving a house empty? Seems weird but whatever. Just because someone HAS money doesn't mean they HAVE to spend it, if they don't want. Good for him for saving. That's his preference. If you can't see yourself living with that long term, break up and then you can spend as much money as you like without getting annoyed at a partner for saving money.

As long as he is paying what he should towards bills then I think it’s up to him whether he spends or saves his disposable income.

I wouldn’t call it excessive, but it’s not how I would choose to save/spend on that salary.

In some ways I think it’s admirable, but I would feel like I was missing out too much on the now.

This is a pretty fundamental difference in your approaches to life, OP. It doesn’t make either of you wrong, but it might make you wrong for each other. Arguments over finances are the most common reason for divorce.

She has also been living rent free and paying her mortgage off - but in her place. Seeing as they split the bills, she is gaining more than if he was living in his place and she was living in hers.

I do think you should be able to pick where you want to eat for your birthday, it's a once a year event so isn't going to significantly impact on his overall savings and just makes him look like a tight arse. Holidays are a bit different and there should be a compromise between camping and swanky hotel.

The type of people who find out there is savings and their mind instantly start thinking of the swanky hotels and posh restaurants (meaningless bad financial investments) they could spend it on have no financial sense.

As for him 'living' at OP's sounds like he doesn't need to be there at all but they enjoy each others company so he has ended up staying there (probably because OP prefers her house to his). It often happens when you settle into a relationship and want to spend more time together, its awkward to be like 'right its getting on best be off home'. It's wildly different from a cocklodger, he pays for what he uses while there and OP can tell him to bugger off home at any point she likes.

None of her business, as long as he is 'paying his way', they're not married so he, like she, is a relatively free agent.

With the figures quoted he has more than 20 months salary saved and is still saving as hard as he can. (Except for mysteriously not renting out his empty house)

He is earning enough that he could work part-time and still save money. What's the point of his wealth accumulation? What's it for?

At some point caution and canny thriftiness tips over into debilitating fear of life and miserliness.

This exactly. More expensive stuff generally just isn’t worth it for me.

This.

He earns his own money, he decides how he spends it.

If you want to go to more expensive places say so. If he doesn't want to, there's the problem.

@ITru , I don't think you have the right to complain about your partner's saving habit, it's not your money.

You do you - as my daughter says!

https://mercerslaw.co.uk/news/should-you-contribute-to-the-mortgage-if-you-dont-own-the-house/#:~:text=Do%20the%20contributions%20to%20the,it%20depends%20on%20the%20circumstances.

I'd keep a close eye on this.

It doesn't sound wildly frugal. But equally life is for living and you can't take it with you.

Is he saving for something in particular? Does he have decent equity in the property too/is his mortgage paid off? Does he have a good pension or is this designed to supplement it? What is his job security like /what are his career goals? There can be good reasons to have a buffer.

I don't think £100k of savings is an unreasonable level to aspire to, particularly later in life. But equally I don't think there's much point living a miserly life when it isn't essential.

Also - if you want a nice treat can you just pay for it yourself if thats your priority or is your budget tight?

No matter what I earned I'd never be very keen to spend a lot of money on a hotel or restaurant.

@ITru I certainly would ever not be camping if my partner had a 3800 take home wage!!! he is also getting rent from his house, presumably, so is he paying rent in yours?????

Yes, that's correct.

My friend's ex (not married) tried to argue that by contributing to the mortgage he was owed a share of the house, but was told exactly that, it's just "rent".

What did entile him to a share was that he'd contributed to renovations, so that's what you need to be careful about

He doesn't have to live an extravagant lifestyle just because he can afford to. It sounds like you have different priorities, he would rather live a simple life and have the security of a healthy savings account; you would rather spend the money whilst you have it. Honestly, I'd think about separating and looking for a partner who shares you attitude to money as you will only make each other miserable if you see things so differently.