Feral kid in same class as DS

Totally agree, the only labels on this post are feral, naughty, nuisance, lazy etc

A shocking amount of ignorance contained in one post.

I didn't seek a diagnose for my children in order to absolve myself of parenting them, I did it because they were clearly struggling and having a "label" for their needs gave us a roadmap of how to best support them. Do you also think diabetes, cancer, and epilepsy are labels? No? That's because they're medical conditions, just like neurodevelopmental conditions are. A medical condition is not a "label", it's a formalised diagnosis that allows proper support to be put in place.

My autistic self and my autistic children are very happy and healthy, thank you. Neurodivergence is not a sickness or a shame. I am incredibly grateful for their presence in my life and - as mind boggling as this may be for you to comprehend - I love them just as much as you love your "normal" children (fyi, my children are also normal because autism isn't an abnormality either).

Perhaps you need to locate some empathy before deciding how to proceed with this child.

It’s astonishing how disruptive one child can be.
Often it is just lax or lazy parenting.
Not closely supervising a child of eight, so he’s being a pest to other people is wrong.

No caring parents would allow this.
We all know what an under parented child looks like.

He probably never gets positive attention, and just gets attention by being naughty.

You don't have every sympathy.

Honestly OP's priority is her child's wellbeing and safety and not whether this absent parent is overwhelmed. It really isn't anyone else's job to ensure that her kid isn't physically or worse sexually harming another child. If she can't do the basics then her child and the community deserve better. It sounds like this should be going to safeguarding although I'd wager they already know about him ...

sorry going up, I didn't mean to aim that comment at you as I know you hadn't said anything about sprinkling, but I aimed it at the many posters who jumped on the bandwagon I tried not to include your id in my response. Please accept my apologies.

I didn’t say that did I?

I said he shouldn’t be allowed to be a nuisance, I said nothing about hosing him down.

Theres acres of room in between leaving him be to bother people and hosing him down.

Yes, Ed Psych background but current role I can only refer, not diagnose. It could well be school dependent, though current school is in a very deprived area.

Are you trained in diagnosis? This may be quite school specific. My DH has been headteacher in 4 schools in deprived areas and has only encountered this once.

Sometimes an excuse for poor/ignorant/ lazy parenting. This one fits the bill.

I have voted that UABU because I think it's unkind to call a child feral.

You can't get a diagnosis unless you are neurodivergent.

Maybe some parents are failing because there is not support for the parents of ND children.

This. I'm a teacher/ALNCO and I also have a formal diagnosis of ADHD and have worked extensively with autistic children.

The amount of parents who want me to provide a report for their DLA claim, suggesting their child has neurodiversities, with no other evidence from medical professionals, no diagnosis etc, is ridiculous.

Most of these children are very poorly parented and as a result, very badly behaved. The difference between them and actual neurodiverse children is obvious. The parents are only interested in the money that they can potentially get, and are often very forceful and aggressive about it.

The parents of children with real disabilities are mostly concerned parents who want the best for their children and aren't really interested in discussing the money side of things. They are more interested in their child's wellbeing, education and social skills.

It would open your eyes if you could see the number of parents who are desperate for their children to have something medical wrong with them, so they can claim DLA and CA.

Overwhelmed is great and all but even worse is a ND or ANY child out roaming alone and can get hit by a car or kidnapped and killed horribly.

Agree watering is excellent deterrent, just wet, deters fence climbers. So, just before schools out, water your fence.

My problem was cider-from-a-can daytime drinkers who thought my urban front steps were “public property” … I got a concrete pot and a geranium. I kept that geranium
and my front steps watered daily so steps were always wet. They found someone else’s dry steps.

and whilst I imagine most people would be empathetic, it’s really not ok to allow your child to be a nuisance to other people

so it's OK to just hose him down with ice cold water then isn't it? There was thread on here recently about nice things people have done for perfect strangers to help them out. That was heartwarming, but then you read things like this and realise that there some people who just want to hurt others.

The poor kid. Don't you have any sympathy for him? You sound horrible and unfeeling. Also, the over use of feral on Mumsnet is awful. These are children not animals. Especially if he is NT, it's not his fault.

It ( Sugar) absolutely can relate to wild behaviour in some children.
It’s like pouring methylated spirits on a fire 🔥
Nowadays more people seem to look for “ A diagnosis “ than to look at potential failings in their own parenting.

This 💯

and whilst I imagine most people would be empathetic, it’s really not ok to allow your child to be a nuisance to other people

There are lots of the typical comments on here about it being food or bad parenting. They’re right there on the first page. I am not referring to the child in question but the overall attitude that always gets peddled out on these threads.

And you would never say ‘I don’t believe that person can’t walk, maybe they can’t walk because they wear flat shoes’ so it’s not acceptable to say it about someone with ND either.

threads like this remind me how far we have to go with understanding neurodivergence.

yes the mum could do better but may well be overwhelmed.

This is so exactly what I was thinking of saying. No one is 'bashing' people with ADHD.

As there has been no diagnosis no one knows if he has ADHD or anything else, or if he is just being poorly parented.

Having a child with behavioural problems is incredibly tough but however hard it is on the parents it's still their responsibility to make sure their DC isn't roaming around being a nuisance to other people - especially if they are only 8!

OP, have you tried one of those gadgets that make ultrasonic noise that only young people can hear? You won't want it all the time because of your own DS, but you might be able to get one you could put down by your fence and just switch on when menace child appears. Less controversial than the sprinklers, however tempting that sounds.

I’m not talking about the comments about this child in particular, I’m talking about the way these threads always descend within the first few posts to ‘Everyone is getting diagnosed these days, I reckon it’s XYZ’. It’s every time, all these armchair psychiatrists who don’t believe in ADHD like it’s fucking Santa Claus.

Try living with it, it’s hell and it’s not too much m&ms

@SpiderPlanter Most people aren't bashing the kid they're bashing the parent who's too lazy and disengaged to meet his needs. Whatever his diagnosis it really sounds like his parents need to step up. If I had a child with a ND diagnosis I think this would piss me off even more because this kindof parent is the kind that worsens stigma for parents who are genuinely working tirelessly for their child with additional needs