Feral kid in same class as DS

Likely to be even more people now after a diagnosis for their child as King’s Speech says that a diagnosis means they are exempted from
VAT on private school fees.
A 20 percent saving is going to be at least a few thousand pounds.
Not small change.

It’s sad…is he in your garden because you’ve banned him/he wants attention? Tbh I think your terminology ’this kid’, ‘feral’, is unpleasant. His mother probably goes on about his condition to garner empathy/understanding and also to excuse his behaviour…sounds like she’s at the end of her tether. I realise it’s not an easy situation but your emphasis on ‘good manners’ and on her tedious character suggests you’re hostile to his condition/her situation. Why did your son invite him round if he dislikes him? Was he bullied? Is he…being kind?

And you are not the arbiter of whether the families and children you come into contact with are disabled or not. There is a rigorous process for assessment.

Oh, I do apologise. I didn't realise that I couldn't change career because a random person on the internet would deem it unusual. It's not, by the way.

Yes, it's a huge decrease in pay. Which is more than worth it for the decrease in stress. I'd rather not put my health at risk to earn more money, when I can live comfortably doing what I do.

Some of the people on this thread are strange. And clearly have no idea that not all parents are supportive, loving adults who want the best for their children. I won't be responding further.

I think it’s incredibly unusual after the vast number of differently qualified medical professionals that my children went through for a formal diagnosis. After all, as you will be very aware of, it’s not just the input of one or two professionals.

Must be a massive pay drop and complete change of career for teacher.

I have no idea why you imagine the NHS works like this, but you are doing people like us and families like ours a profound disservice. And yes, every working day.

Is it unusual? I work with a fair few people who have a background in Ed Psych but have moved to ALNCO work due to the constraints of Ed Psych roles.

Yes, I am qualified to cover all areas. Again, not unusual. I did a PGCE which took a year. I am not teaching currently, as I am an area ALNCO. I hope that helps you understand.

My prejudiced opinion as a disabled, neurodiverse adult with a neurodiverse child? Sure.

I can assure you, they are. In the same way that a small amount of people fraudulently claim other types of benefit. How often do you work with disabled children and their families?

My role is to support disabled children and their families. Why do you think that families who do not have disabled children should be able to demand that they do? Do you not realise the impact this can have on disabled children? An odd stance indeed.

Sorry, I must have misread. I thought you wrote you were a teacher. So unusual to retrain as a teacher after gaining the necessary qualifications and experience to diagnose autism and adhd (especially allowing for the often multi disciplinary teams needed, so you must be multi qualified to cover all areas). How many years did you spend in goor former fields before becoming a teacher?

Jesus wept reading posts as yours.

In your prejudiced opinion.

No, I don't think for one second parents are hoodwinking the NHS into diagnosing developmental disorders in their children for cash. I think that is right up there with migrants eating cats and dogs in Springfield.

For those with the good fortune to be unfamiliar with the detail of what is involved, it is not uncommon to wait three years for assessment, and that's after securing a referral. Referrals then have to pass through specialist screening teams, school-based reports/scores, and finally an assessment of the child involving a minimum of two professionals, following a rigorous NICE protocol. If there is doubt during the assessment, clinicians will not diagnose, but often suggest a period of watchful waiting.

People bandy such rubbish about on sites like this and do not stop and think about the damage it does to families of disabled children. Please stop.

I've literally said that I am. I'm sorry you can't read.

Why it is unpleasant to discuss my personal experiences, and the reality of some families' behaviour? Are you so naive that you don't realise what happens?

An awful lot of parents who have difficulty parenting a child with challenging behaviour go on to discover the reason for the challenging behaviour is a neurodevelopmental condition. This includes many parents who have been effective parents of developmentally normal children. These are lazy smears that hurt disabled people and their families.

It is disingenuous to draw parallels between research into neurodevelopmental conditions where the international evidence base, including insights from neuroscience, has been under intense development since at least the middle of the last century, and current debates around gender identity.

Quote, even.

also i meant to say JubileeJuice is 100% right

Thresholds to reach diagnosis are set in accordance with international standards and the path to assessment is arduous and takes years.

That is true. But unfortunately there are parents who advocate to try and make their child fit into the 'special needs' hole because they have trouble parenting the child (or dont want to discipline them) and when the child misbehaves they think it must be a genetic problem rather than the result of poor discipline

And international standards arent a be all and end all. It isnt just the UK recognising "gender dysphoria" as an actual condition rather than the byproduct of misogyny, for example.

Please don't quite me in support of your offensive stance. I am 'real' special needs parent. Thresholds to reach diagnosis are set in accordance with international standards and the path to assessment is arduous and takes years. Misrepresenting this stokes resentment towards disabled children and their families. This kind of ill-informed prejudice makes our lives more unpleasant. Please stop.

I have a son with ASD, ADHD and high levels of anxiety. I would never in a million years let him go jumping around a neighbour's front garden, or condone him using swear words and sexually explicit language. It honestly sounds like the Mum has just given up. Does your school have any family liaison officers that visit? It sounds like she would benefit from talking to someone and getting some strategies in place. (It could be years before CAMHS intervenes.)

You are not qualified to assess or diagnose.

These are unpleasant things to say on an online forum about the families you are employed to work with.

Safeguarding is EVERYONE's responsibility!

The sexually explicit and swearing language is because his mother and her partners keep using them. So has no idea what words are fine or not.

i bet the mum shouts stop fucking swearing at him.

No, it doesn't but then neither do suggestions about soaking him with the hose or slamming the door in his face.

Roaming the streets unsupervised and using sexualised language are both safeguarding concerns, report these to school. Include the fa t that he's engaging in anti-spcial behaviour (jumping on your fence, not leaving when asked, etc) and emphasise that you are concerned for his safety especially as he is vulnerable.

Then you need to speak to his mum and tell her that he has been asked to stay away from your house and can she reinforce this with him. She might not like it but it doesn't sound like you're pals anyway. If you get no joy with her then contact your local PCSO (the number should be on your local police force website), they will be able to go around and have a chat with him and his mum about playing somewhere other than outside of your house.

No it doesn't. But moaning about it on here doesn't help either.

That doesn't help OP though, does it? You can't just be 'overwhelmed' and chuck an
8yo out to roam the streets because you can't cope, especially if he just transfers his overwhelming behaviour to others down the street.