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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should he have helped?

263 replies

Jelnotjel · 13/09/2024 12:10

I was unwell yesterday (Thursday) - in bed, sleeping on and off all day unwell.
At home with two young children.

Fiancé (who lives about 25 minutes away) helped in the day by choice rather than me asking. Great. Then he had to pick up his car late afternoon from a location about twenty minutes away. No problem.

I asked him to come back to help with the evening stuff for the kids. He refused.

He refused because he wanted to rest up for a new job starting on Monday and declined the offer of a bed and room to himself because he thought he might hear the children at five am, ignoring the fact he has all weekend to rest up. He could also have just left to go home after putting them to bed.

I feel like he should have helped in the evening since he was needed. Yes we made it through, no one died but the children got cold leftovers for dinner and i did fall asleep before them so it wasn't ideal, and he had no good reason not to help.

Aibu for thinking he should've helped out?

He's calling me a parasite now for being upset he didn't help.

OP posts:
Gymnopedie · 13/09/2024 12:16

Brainded · 13/09/2024 12:14

And you don’t live together why??

Probably because the 'D'P doesn't want to have to be a full time parent. He sounds incredibly self centred.

AGirlInACountrySong · 13/09/2024 12:16

What wedding??

Swissrollover · 13/09/2024 12:16

mushpush · 13/09/2024 12:15

I mean the answer is to leave a man who calls you a parasite and leaves you alone to struggle with the two DC you share when ill!

Indeed. When is the wedding planned for?

TheShellBeach · 13/09/2024 12:15

I'd reconsider the wedding and the whole relationship.

(Actually, I would still have a very basic wedding, to get the legal protection. That's if he earns a lot more than you.)

But what a dick.

mushpush · 13/09/2024 12:15

I mean the answer is to leave a man who calls you a parasite and leaves you alone to struggle with the two DC you share when ill!

LostTheMarble · 13/09/2024 12:15

Jelnotjel · 13/09/2024 12:12

Yes he's their dad

Then he should have done his bit. Why are you living apart?

Brainded · 13/09/2024 12:14

And you don’t live together why??

FiveShelties · 13/09/2024 12:14

Why don't you live together?

AGirlInACountrySong · 13/09/2024 12:13

Why on earth are you living separately?

Jelnotjel · 13/09/2024 12:12

Yes he's their dad

OP posts:
AGirlInACountrySong · 13/09/2024 12:12

Is he the children's Dad?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/09/2024 12:12

Is he their dad?

Brainded · 13/09/2024 12:11

Are they his dc??