DH making fun of me for being “thick”

I'd give them both a shock if it's possible and book into a hotel or b&b for a few days and tell them you're not willing to put up with their attitude any longer so will be leaving until they are willing to sincerely apologise and never do it again or anything like it.

Just seen the update. If that's what you need to do, then good for you. No way should you have to put up with a husband who can treat you this way.

I would say though that you need to work on your son, with councillors as you suggest. He's witnessed abuse and is now copying that abuse. You want to do everything you can to make sure he doesn't reach adulthood thinking it's normal to abuse women.

Just like people who dish out unkindness are sensitive so the victim can't say anything back.

DH is a STBEX - I am getting everything organised and plan to leave eventually. I have been in contact with Women’s Aid and am putting together a plan to safely leave DH. I did feel like just walking out last night but this isn’t feasible and I would look like the unreasonable one.

Just waiting for a property to go through and I’ll be gone thankfully.

Best update I've read in a while. I'd to do this as quickly as you can, while staying safe.

Your husband is an abusive little shit, and now he has taught your son to abuse you too.

Abuse masked as having a laugh at others expense, likely a narcissistic person.

This is very upsetting to read. Your DH is far from D and needs divorcing.
As for a teenager acting like that ND or not it’s appalling and he needs to be reprimanded for it. Don’t make excuses for him.
Don’t put up with it OP.

Tell your husband that your son copied him when he was being deliberately rude and insulting to you. Abusive in fact.
And that your son will copy him again, when, in front of your son, he makes a thoughtful, sincere and heartfelt apology, asking for forgiveness, -regretting his previous behaviour and promising to show nothing but respect and love to you in the future and never allowing that word or that false laugh in the house again because he knows you deserve a thousand times better than that. And then following through on that.

So tell your husband that if he really wants to stop his son continuing to bully you, he knows what he should do.

God, your husband sounds vile

Get out as fast as you can.

And use his toothbrush to clean the toilet a few times before you go.

LTB.

Just wanted to say that you DEFINITELY don't sound "thick". Quite the opposite actually.

Well done for making plans to leave this abusive relationship. Good luck! 🤞🏻

What an absolute vile cunt. Many, many years ago when me and DH were in our 20s and just dating, he used to think it was funny to mock me when I did something daft or silly, or got something 'wrong.' I would be like >>> But it just spurred him on!.

I remember using the cutlery 'incorrectly' at a posh meal we went to this one time, and he pointed at me and laughed at how I was using the cutlery 'incorrectly' in front of 10 people at the table. Proper belly laughed at me and my 'stupidity.'

Everyone at the table was a bit bemused - like >>>😐and they didn't laugh, but it made me feel about 3 inches tall. This was about the 10th time he'd done something like this in the 12 or 13 months we had been dating. I felt like bursting into tears. I went outside and he followed me. I did burst into tears and said he was fucking horrible laughing at me and mocking me and I am sick of him doing it. I told him I don't want to be with someone who makes me feel like this.

He looked really ashen-faced, and said he was only joking and he didn't mean to upset me, and he was really sorry. He never did it again. Well occasionally, he would tease me a bit, but no more than I did to him. We have giggles and a bit of banter - but he has never made me feel stupid ever again.

I think if he had carried on doing it, I wouldn't have married him ... It's incredibly childish behaviour, so cruel and mocking and vile - especially when you're married with children, and he is getting THEM to laugh at you too. I don't very often say 'leave the bastard' @IneffableCat but this is a reason to leave. He's absolutely horrible ... Quite abusive actually.

.

Yes, it is actually really upsetting to read. I’m not easily shocked, but this behaviour is chilling. It’s just a horrible way to treat someone, and to not even stop when she is begging him to. It’s just not normal.

OP I’m not sure I would bother taking his phone and his game. He won’t understand that this is a consequence of his bullying, it will only give him more ammunition against you. It will drain you even more, and you need the energy to focus on removing yourself permanently from the situation instead.

And don’t beg him to stop. I might tell him calmly that if he continues you will call the police or social services, because he is abusing and harassing you.

Your husband needs a good kick in the balls, I expect there’s a queue

Well done for making your plans to get away, OP. Hopefully this will be a massive kick up the arse for your son and you can both start again free of this abusive bully.

No I agree, it shouldn’t have to go this far, but if things aren’t sorted after a year of this, then it’s surely time to try a different approach.

Neither of them respect you. That needs to change.

Not sure why the rolly eyes .. I’m not the only one to say your comment is stereotypical and wrong.

DH is a STBEX - I am getting everything organised and plan to leave eventually. I have been in contact with Women’s Aid and am putting together a plan to safely leave DH. I did feel like just walking out last night but this isn’t feasible and I would look like the unreasonable one.

I was going to suggest texting back I can and I do - but frankly I'd avoid conflict with him further -maybe just avoid him as much as possible even at home- and keep your eyes on the prize of leaving.

I will try immediate consequences for DS when he calls me that. He’s a gamer/loves his phone so having that taken away will have the most impact.

Worth a go - he need to learn it is unacceptable. Hope it works for you.

I think you need to talk with DS about ablist/disablist language and bullying. If he has autism he may have experienced being bullied for being “different”, and ask him to explain why he thinks it’s okay to do this to you, and what that kind of behaviour makes him. I would probably show him some YouTube videos of some similar examples of verbally abusive domestic violence examples and show him that his behaviour is not just unacceptable but also illegal.

Last night I begged him to stop (told him it wasn’t appropriate to call me that) he was sarcastic in his response saying “aww, is little Mammy upset? Is she going to cry?” Etc

This is absolutely vile, vicious behaviour from your son. I would be absolutely disgusted and ashamed of my child if he spoke to anyone like that, but his own mother? Despicable. I’m so sorry OP, but I’d be considering cutting DS off as well as DH when you leave. Let the pair of them be cunts to each other.

It shouldn’t have to go this far. What sort of family is it if you can’t simply talk and listen to each other.

🙄

Thank god you are leaving.
You are being bullied and abused.

I know your son is on the spectrum but you need to go nuclear to enforce your boundary or I honestly would suggest you leave him with his father.

Do you really want to take him with you?
Because I am not sure I would.

It may be un PC, but no one, not even a mother should put up with this.

Completely down tools with your son, do nothing for him and take his technology away.
He'll get the message soon enough.

Please warn the police that you are fleeing domestic abuse.

Abusive husbands often report their wives missing when they flee to make things awkward.

I am so sorry that things are so hard.