DH making fun of me for being “thick”

This is just appalling @IneffableCat

Your husband clearly has no respect for you and now your son is following suit.

Your husband and son are bullying you.

I'd be looking at leaving.

These posts make me so relived to be single. I couldn’t be with someone who behaved like this. This isn’t how a person who cares about someone behaves.

I'm so glad you are getting out - best of luck to you and a happy future!

Thank you for demonstrating so effectively that not all nds are decent sorts. Oh, you could try a neurotypical phrase... 'Don't be a dick'.

Your husband is a nasty bastard. What sort of person takes pleasure in belittling someone they are supposed to love?
I would be considering my future very carefully.

They are both bullying cunt£. Yes both of them.

Good luck, OP. I hope you're not there too long. Counselling for your son sounds like an essential.

I would respond with “it’s not ok for daddy to call me names, it’s wrong, it’s hurtful, it’s unkind” or “it’s wrong, it’s abusive” IF you think he can understand and cope with that.

If you want to know more, Charliechalk12 on TikTok is incredible x Good luck. I hope this helps.

This is a complete misreading of the situation. The husband definitely “knows his own strength “ and the sin is not far behind as a deliberate choice to be an abuser.

So glad you’re leaving. God knows what other vile stuff your waste of space STBEX has taught / role modelled for your poor son. Please get him away.

I’m so glad to see this post.

when you first started the thread I was worried that this would be a thread about a toxic at the very least but probably abusive marriage but that you would only be focusing on this one small (in the sense of the bigger picture) issue and I was worried about how to express that to you but this post has shown you are aware and on top of working towards leaving.

first well done you are doing great! I hope one day you will be starting a thread on whatever your new (better) life looks like

second, you are neurodivergent and not thick which you have mentioned but it’s worth hearing it again. I can tell just from your posts that you are an intelligent person who has great insight.

third, I know it’s hard as you’re son doesn’t really understand the gravity of what is going on. He thinks of it as banter most likely and has had it modelled that you are the target of any of this stuff but it’s almost certain that he probably doesn’t have the malice behind it that stbex does.
if it’s possible I think having a proper sit down when it’s just the two of you so dad isn’t there to manipulate it. Explain that it’s not ok for dad to do this either and while you know he is trying to be funny he is actually hurting your feelings and when you love someone part of that is listening to when someone tells you how something upsets them. Explain that you know he doesn’t mean it but what he is doing and because he won’t stop it is like bullying. Use examples you know will hit home with him that maybe have happened to him (without upsetting him obviously) so he can see it through his own experience as it can be hard for some neurodivergent people to understand something external from themselves.
obviously you know better than me about his comprehension skills so you will need to find the correct language for him.

good luck @IneffableCat im rooting for you.

DH is a STBEX - I am getting everything organised and plan to leave eventually. I have been in contact with Women’s Aid and am putting together a plan to safely leave DH.

The D does stand for "darling" or "dear", not Dickhead btw. Please for the love of sanity, stop using the ridiculous "DH"

Why do you roast people with bitchy insults? They might put a brave face on it but I suspect the only person being amused is you. used to have a friend who did the same and thought it was hilarious. Well, the things we said between ourselves about what a bitch she was- she may not have liked it. And she is now completely frozen out and for some years and does not seem to understand why.

They just blatantly disrespected you, that's' awful.

The next time your son undermines you, warn him to stop and if he does it again, take something he vales away from him for about 2 weeks.

Your husband is an idiot and he started it but your son has to learn some respect.

This is disgusting and cruel and unless your DH is prepared to make amends for this ASAP in a big way, I would be gone!!

That said I am a big fan of roasting people I know with insults and bitchy banter but there is a time and place and it can't come from a place of cruelty. It also has to be well timed to actually be funny and you have to be ready to accept it coming back in the other direction! It doesn't sound like this applies to your horrible son or husband.

That's appalling. Your husband sounds like a Neanderthal oaf!

Your son is the apple that hasn't fallen far from his fathers tree!

I would make this all on your husbands shoulders to ensure your son gets the message that this is completely unacceptable. Do not be seen as being the 'bad guy' in your child's eyes.

Then book a day or a weekend away from the pair of them, a spa or a hotel break etc.

Make it clear that when you come back they are both to respect you and never use that word or any other disrespectful word otherwise odd you go!

See how they like managing without you.

I hope you get out soon! Your husband sounds vile 🤬

Also look into the relationship between ND people and NPD. They hunt us down.

You're not unreasonable to be fed up with this, op. Some comments are funny the first time but tiresome after a while. Next time you hear it, threaten both of them! They don't know their own strength and it is embarrassing if they say it in front of others.

They also like to call you thick/dumb. Do weird things like refuse eye contact (especially if say you are wearing a new dress and feel pretty) to make you feel worthless.

Blow hot and cold to keep you on your toes. Talk nasty behind your back.

Trying to get a narc to care about hurting you, impossible. As I said, they love hurting you. Sometimes you’ll even see a smirk when you’re crying.

Really pleased to read your update, Op.

Hopefully once you've left your DH you can concentrate on helping ensure that your son treats you with the love and respect that you deserve.

This might shock them into a realisation.
Pack a bag - it needs to be on a Friday night.
Tell them both - I want to talk to you both and I want you to remain silent while I speak.

Then express your hurt at the name calling, highlight all that you do for them and tell them that this insulting and degrading behaviour has to stop.

Tell them you are going away for the weekend and they can look after themselves. When you get back, you expect no repetition of this abusive behaviour.

Then leave them to it.

No you can’t keep blaming your son, he’s right. In fact, now instead of the grotty husband taking the blame you can take the blame and guilt of feeling bad for calling your son out on it. Perfect.

Place the blame exactly where it belongs, but don’t expect a sorry, they never say sorry. The more upset you are, the more he enjoys it. Understand this.

I can already tell your husband is likely npd. He can abuse you by proxy now. Use autism to hyper focus and study what you’re dealing with because they never change, they get worse and then they discard you. Whilst they do this, they form your children into the same abuser they are.

You are going to have to fight hard to reeducate your son out of being your H’s mini me.