Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to hope Bento boxes for packed school lunches never take off here?

168 replies

LightDrizzle · 13/09/2024 00:02

Luckily I’m an old bat and it wouldn’t directly affect me but while it’s a Japanese thing that is sort of cute at a distance, the thought of parents, and let’s face it, mostly women, thinking they have to put mental and physical effort into carving Squishmallows out of radishes and creating beautiful and imaginative Bento boxes every day for the delight of their children and the envy of their friends just makes me feel depressed.

It was bad enough in the days of cutting sandwiches and bunging a satsuma, a Mini Babybel and a Penguin in. I’m still surprised at how long it takes to make rounds of decent sandwiches. I loathed doing packed lunches on top of everything else you’ve got to do with young children and full time work. Obviously there is nothing wrong with the Bento box as a receptacle, it’s the Insta-culture expectation as to the contents that make me feel sympathetic dread. Sometimes it seems that as fast as we develop labour saving gadgets and devices; social media and influencers devise tortuous new ways of parting women from any prospect of a moment to theirselves.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
sashh · 13/09/2024 09:25

I should probably add as well as one for packed lunches I also have one of the black lacquered one and a square omelette pan.

sashh · 13/09/2024 09:23

I love the actual boxes to just add things to, it makes me think about having a balanced meal. This bit is for protein, this is for fruit etc etc.

The ones Japanese primary school children take are a work of art.

HauntedbyMagpies · 13/09/2024 09:22

Franjipanl8r · 13/09/2024 00:38

School dinners all the way - life’s too short to fuck around making a packed lunch.

Many, many children with SEN can’t/won’t eat school dinners so we have no choice! Hmm

HauntedbyMagpies · 13/09/2024 09:21

@Saturdayblurs What's 'blech' about having separate compartments in a lunchbox?!?!

HauntedbyMagpies · 13/09/2024 09:20

I use Bento boxes for DD's packed lunch but only because of her eating issues (ARFID & Autism). She eats a couple of mini breadsticks, a couple of apple wedges, 2 small chunks of cheese, 2 slices of carrots or cucumber etc etc (obviously these are in addition to her sandwich) and doesn't like any of the above to be 'touching' so the multiple spaces are genius for us.

Why do so many people forget to think about children with special needs?

Acornsplop · 13/09/2024 09:11

So, which boxes are you all using?

GainsvilleRockCity · 13/09/2024 09:06

I do bento style for my kids only because the school won't let them throw away food packaging or uneaten food at school, so previous lunch boxes/bags were coming home covered in crumbs and half eaten yogurts.

It's not fancy shapes for us, just a neat way of keeping everything contained. We even have "hot" boxes so they can have soup on a cold day.

AGoingConcern · 13/09/2024 09:05

SweetSakura · 13/09/2024 09:04

Op literally says that her issue isn't with the receptacle but with the cutesy carvings that people put in it though

Yes. And people are discussing all of the non-cutesy lunches they make while agreeing with OP that they largely don't have time for that stuff.

Appleblum · 13/09/2024 09:05

I get that not everyone has the time, and it can become another boring chore, but my kids love their packed lunches. It's healthy homecooked food that I know they enjoy eating, and they really look forward to opening it up and seeing what's inside. It breaks up a long day at school for them.

SweetSakura · 13/09/2024 09:04

AGoingConcern · 13/09/2024 08:59

People aren't missing the point of OP's post and no one is getting huffy. We're just noting that her dislike isn't really bento boxes, it's overly precious, appearance-focused lunches - and the vast majority are agreeing/comiserating with OP that we're not willing to faff with that. But that isn't traditional bento), the vast majority of people aren't doing anything like that (here or in Japan or the US or wherever) so there's no expectation of it unless someone sets it for themselves, and if there was no such thing as bento boxes there would still be the same minority of mummies using their kids' lunch for instagram likes or as an arts & crafts project.

And then people are talking some about how they actually do make lunches work for them and their DC because that's how conversations go.

Op literally says that her issue isn't with the receptacle but with the cutesy carvings that people put in it though

AGoingConcern · 13/09/2024 09:03

Haroldwilson · 13/09/2024 08:49

Yanbu. Plus those pretty arrangements would get shaken up and trashed pretty quickly.

One observation - Japan has really low rates of women working after having kids!

I think your info is out of date. About 75% of mothers with children under 18 work in Japan now, slightly higher than the UK and equivalent to the US.

MountUnpleasant · 13/09/2024 09:02

Many parents in this country don't even bother to feed their kids vegetables or food that doesn't come frozen, so I don't think you need to worry. 😂

GenAvocadoOnToast · 13/09/2024 09:02

I have a bento box (for me). I put things like rice, cucumber, carrot and tofu in the compartments. It's only as complicated as you want it to be.

EsmeSusanOgg · 13/09/2024 09:01

SusannaSpider · 13/09/2024 00:12

I know you said the issue wasn't the bento box as a receptacle, but I love the Sistema ones. I'm not entertaining any of that squashing an egg into the shape of Hello Kitty shite, but having different apartments to fill just seems to stop me scrabbling around - a satsuma fits here, cherry tom's in this bit etc.
I probably have ADHD and it shows on threads like this 😳

Ha, I do have ADHD and ASD. I 100% get you. Cannot be bothered doing elaborate stuff, but being able to have easy compartments for the things so they do not touch is awesome.

AGoingConcern · 13/09/2024 08:59

SweetSakura · 13/09/2024 08:35

Exactly. I don't know why people are getting all huffy and thinking op is referring to them sticking some grapes and a babybel in different compartments

People aren't missing the point of OP's post and no one is getting huffy. We're just noting that her dislike isn't really bento boxes, it's overly precious, appearance-focused lunches - and the vast majority are agreeing/comiserating with OP that we're not willing to faff with that. But that isn't traditional bento), the vast majority of people aren't doing anything like that (here or in Japan or the US or wherever) so there's no expectation of it unless someone sets it for themselves, and if there was no such thing as bento boxes there would still be the same minority of mummies using their kids' lunch for instagram likes or as an arts & crafts project.

And then people are talking some about how they actually do make lunches work for them and their DC because that's how conversations go.

ThePrologue · 13/09/2024 08:58

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 13/09/2024 08:49

I would read it as grilled fish or grilled chicken - you just don’t need to write ‘grilled’ twice because it’s implied…

But why mention the method of cooking at all? Why is it relevant?
I think we can all assume she wasn't going to be putting fish soup or chicken soup in the box...

feathermucker · 13/09/2024 08:52

You don't 'have to' do anything other than what is convenient for you if you use a Bento box. There is no obligation to fashion fruit/vegetables into stars; triangles or any other shape. No TikTok or instagram influencers will hunt you down if you don't.

I find them convenient so I use them. It's that simple.

SweetSakura · 13/09/2024 08:52

ObliviousCoalmine · 13/09/2024 08:41

My teen daughter had a bento for pre school until she was about 7.

I've used a biscuit cutter to make star shaped cheese and cucumber. It took me maybe an extra 2 minutes overall. I didn't mind, it was my choice.

Nobody is making heart shaped sandwiches mandatory for you, don't panic.

What happens to the left over bits of cheese and cucumber?

Haroldwilson · 13/09/2024 08:49

Yanbu. Plus those pretty arrangements would get shaken up and trashed pretty quickly.

One observation - Japan has really low rates of women working after having kids!

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 13/09/2024 08:49

ThePrologue · 13/09/2024 08:43

Just because I am at a loss, why did you add 'grilled' to fish, yet just write 'chicken' with no hint as to how that was cooked?
😊Is it because you wanted to reassure that you weren't feeding your child battered stuff?!

I would read it as grilled fish or grilled chicken - you just don’t need to write ‘grilled’ twice because it’s implied…

WhenSunnyGetsBlue · 13/09/2024 08:47

I like lunch boxes with separate compartments, just personal preference. But I don't think food needs to be pretty or have entertainment value. It is fuel to get them through the day. I'm not carving up anything and throwing away the perfectly edible edges. Food is expensive.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 13/09/2024 08:45

Theunamedcat · 13/09/2024 00:05

What kind of bento boxes are you having? We use them for rice dishes or other open foods saves on wrapping everything in bags ds still has a sandwich but there is no plastic on it his crisps are open etc means his lunch is more accessible for him

I think she means the ones where people make it all look pretty and post it on Instagram - not the receptacle itself 😂

SoupDragon · 13/09/2024 08:44

As a child, there is no way I could have made myself eat a cute bear for lunch so I would have starved.

ThePrologue · 13/09/2024 08:43

GreenTeaLikesMe · 13/09/2024 00:51

My teen daughter does her own bento in a bento box every morning. It takes five seconds and consists of putting leftovers from last night in a box (assuming we had something like grilled fish or chicken). If the leftovers from last night are not the kind of thing that works as bento, such as a curry, she makes a peanut butter sandwich. And wraps some of last night’s salad in foil and shoves it in.

Fancy bento are not a thing for secondary school, they are as per the above, basically.

Elementary school kids usually have kyushoku (school lunches) which are really, really good! You might have to make bento on certain occasions, like a half day at the end of term, or for school trips obviously. However, when you do do bento, you usually just do simple stuff based on leftovers, as per the above. Actually, most of the public elementary schools round here specifically ban “Kyara-ben” (bento made into fancy shapes) for the occasions when you do make bento, because it would encourage kids to fuss about it and put pressure on parents, and also because there are concerns that all the extra touching and handling of food that goes on when it is cut and shaped is not very hygienic and raises the risk of contamination of food.

Kindergartens for 3-6yos (which traditionally have been aimed at non-working mothers) do have daily bento in most cases, but again, a lot of them ban the fancy shaped “Kyara-Ben.” I know a couple of mothers who send their kids to kindergartens that have daily bento and are really “into” making this kind of fancy stuff, but most are like me and just shove leftovers in a box (or better still, make your kids do it themselves) on the occasions when it does need to be made.

In any case, these days most mothers in Japan are working, so we usually use daycares (which serve school lunches) rather than kindergartens for our 3-6yos, or send them to the kind of kindergarten that is adapted for working parents and serves school lunches instead. So again, very few occasions when you need to make bento.

Just because I am at a loss, why did you add 'grilled' to fish, yet just write 'chicken' with no hint as to how that was cooked?
😊Is it because you wanted to reassure that you weren't feeding your child battered stuff?!

ZenNudist · 13/09/2024 08:43

KrisAkabusi · 13/09/2024 00:30

My daughter uses a bento box. I have never carved a vegetable for her and I don't know what a squishmallow is. Things are only as difficult as you make them.

Same. Though we have put interesting things in for lunches this week (ds insisted on a trip to chinatown) but very much of the grab and go prepacked snacks and slices of dragon fruit. I sent him in with Chinese dumplings one day that were quick to cook and stayed hot in a thermos.

Swipe left for the next trending thread