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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wear red to a wedding?

84 replies

WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 21:36

It’s my cousin’s wedding coming up and it has taken me forever to find a dress that actually fits and looks nice! It is red midi dress with an a-line skirt and sleeves (and POCKETS!!).

I have seen a post on Facebook this evening, one of those click bait things from Reddit, saying that it’s inappropriate to wear red to a wedding, because it is saying that you have had a relationship with the groom??

Cue major panic at my dress being inappropriate when I finally thought I’d sorted it out. After 15 minutes I have talked myself round, but only based on the fact that it is a lesbian wedding and so there is in fact no groom at all 😂

Is this an actual thing, not wearing red to a wedding?? I thought the only colours you had to stay away from were white/cream/ivory!!

YABU: of course you don’t wear red to wedding

YANBU: you can wear red to a wedding

OP posts:
Escaperoom · 12/09/2024 23:00

I've been to two weddings in the past where the bridesmaids wore red.

LettyToretto · 12/09/2024 22:56

Unless it's a Chinese wedding, red is fine

PonyPatter44 · 12/09/2024 22:50

That is a cracking dress, you will look fab in it!

I really suit red, I wear it a lot, and would definitely be looking for a dress like that if I had a wedding to attend. Hope you have a great time.

Greystrie · 12/09/2024 22:45

My wedding dress was red. The marriage didn’t last but nothing to do with the dress. I’ve heard it said that red can be jarring on wedding photos (presumably against a more muted bridal party colourway) but unless you’re all about that instagram images, who cares

cheapskatemum · 12/09/2024 22:44

Mwahahaha, the dress I've chosen to wear to DS1's wedding is predominantly red. At least I'll know why people are looking at me strangely!

Squiillionaire · 12/09/2024 22:39

Good heavens the angst these days about what to wear to weddings. Red is fine. When I got married 38 years ago my grandmother wore a white skirt suit. She liked it, she looked looked lovely. She wasn't trying to upstage her 21 year old granddaughter's white dress.

The dress is lovely. Ignore the silly 'rules'

Delphiniumandlupins · 12/09/2024 22:36

Wear your lovely dress. Am I correct that it has pockets?

Original poster
WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 22:32

zeibesaffron · 12/09/2024 22:21

The dress you are looking at is gorgeous!

It was a wonderful wedding with drag queens and kings providing the entertainment- so I think I was quite understated! 😂

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Thank you! Oh wow that sounds fabulous!!

OP posts:
Shoesshoes87 · 12/09/2024 22:32

3 of my sisters wore red to my wedding 😂

Original poster
WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 22:31

longestlurkerever · 12/09/2024 22:17

I do find this "if it's attention grabbing, please don't wear it" stuff a bit much. Are guests supposed to blend into the wallpaper? Why exactly? The idea that the bride wants everyone's full attention is a bit weird. Isn't it more about sharing your happiness? I couldn't have cared less what people wore really but if anything would have seen making an effort to dress up as a compliment.

I agree! Colours feel happy to me and it is a day of celebration!

(although I would never where ivory or similar as my aunt wore ivory to my parents wedding as a protest because she wasn’t a bridesmaid and apparently it caused quite the drama 😂)

OP posts:
RightOnTheEdge · 12/09/2024 22:30

Definitely wear it, it's lovely!

AbraAbraCadabra · 12/09/2024 22:29

Red is fine. The only colours you should avoid at a wedding are white and black.

OldTinHat · 12/09/2024 22:27

Hell - my wedding dress was red!

Go for it!

Tomatina · 12/09/2024 22:23

Wow, beautiful dress! Wear it.
The only 'rule' with weddings is not to wear any white or cream, simply because the white will attract attention away from the bride in photos. Anything else is fine.

Original poster
WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 22:22

25soexcited · 12/09/2024 22:12

My bridesmaids all wore read ..pretty sure they hadn’t shagged my husband 😂

I hope not 😂😂😂

OP posts:
zeibesaffron · 12/09/2024 22:21

WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 22:05

And no one thought you were being too loud? I feel like this thread has calmed one fear and brought on another 😂

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The dress you are looking at is gorgeous!

It was a wonderful wedding with drag queens and kings providing the entertainment- so I think I was quite understated! 😂

Original poster
WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 22:18

TheYearOfSmallThings · 12/09/2024 22:10

Of course you can wear red to a wedding - lots of people do. That dress is lovely and you will look great.

Thanks! I’m so glad I have found lots of people that have worn red to weddings and it hasn’t caused any incident! It has been so long since I’ve even been to a wedding! And thank you (it has pockets!!)

OP posts:
longestlurkerever · 12/09/2024 22:17

I do find this "if it's attention grabbing, please don't wear it" stuff a bit much. Are guests supposed to blend into the wallpaper? Why exactly? The idea that the bride wants everyone's full attention is a bit weird. Isn't it more about sharing your happiness? I couldn't have cared less what people wore really but if anything would have seen making an effort to dress up as a compliment.

Original poster
WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 22:16

ForPearlViper · 12/09/2024 22:09

It sounds like it is an autumn wedding so no-one will be waftin around in pastels (unless they are completely bonkers). You'll be find. It isn't the 1950s. It's not like it is some sort of throw back wedding.

Yes exactly! Pastels don’t feel right around Halloween 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 22:15

DappledThings · 12/09/2024 22:07

I've just gone and had a look at some photos of my wedding to check. Immediately counted one bright cherry red, one orange, one black with large red rose pattern and matching red fascinator, one bright purple and my own mum who was in cream with a red floral pattern and a red bolero jacket. So loads of bright colours which theoretically clashed and maybe stood out in photos.

It never occurred to me at the time or looking back that I was meant to be upset by people wearing clothes that make them happy to wear and they felt celebratory because they ruined some imagined aesthetic.

Show quote history

What a lovely way of looking at it!

OP posts:
boulevardofbrokendreamss · 12/09/2024 22:15

Theunamedcat · 12/09/2024 21:54

So as previously mentioned in years gone by

Red = slept with the groom
Green = bad luck
Black = objects
White = trying to be the bride

These days it's more of a free for all I would personally stear away from anything too attention grabbing in photos but there are ways around it a friend of mine made her photos black and white/sepia because someone wore such a bright dress every photo with them threw the balance off in the pictures 😂

I have never heard this. And I'm old.

Original poster
WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 22:13

piscofrisco · 12/09/2024 22:07

It's absolutely fine. Especially for an autumn/winter/spring wedding. And the dress is grand op.

Thank you! (It has pockets!!!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 22:13

Hollyhocksandlarkspur · 12/09/2024 22:07

Gorgeous. Will look absolutely perfect OP.

Thank you so much!

OP posts:
Original poster
WhosAfraidOfLittleOldMe · 12/09/2024 22:12

JusWunderin · 12/09/2024 21:59

I’ve got a wedding soon too and found a nice red dress and had to Google etiquette 😂

it’s not that it symbolises a relationship with the groom (old wives tale) It’s apparently too ‘bold’ of a colour and can be seen as trying to outshine the bride, can also take attention away from the couple in photos ect. So I decided against it.. not because I wouldn’t wear red to a wedding.. but because I then got a fear that others might think that’s exactly why I’ve worn it 😂

Thanks! It feels like a minefield of etiquette that I have no idea about 😂

OP posts:
25soexcited · 12/09/2024 22:12

My bridesmaids all wore read ..pretty sure they hadn’t shagged my husband 😂

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