To hate living here

I live quite rural and little field mice come in regularly. You just need to get the traps out . To be honest doesn’t bother me at all any more. You get used to it,

It sounds very similar to my house.
are you sure it’s mice in the loft? We had rats in ours. DH is not one for diy but he moved very quickly to sort that problem and block the holes up.
The beetles are reducing in number. Every time I see one I kill it. Do a few patrols in the early hours as well. Only got a few now.
The spiders. There are hundreds. Cobwebs everywhere. I have never known a house with so many spiders. I am trying to block the holes up with decorator’s caulk but it is a long job. I hoover th up as often as possible and now the kids are back at school will start using an insect spray out of desperation.
The location of the house is ideal atm but I will move at some point

This will make you feel better

We have a house like this, ours sounds a bit smaller but it’s got the mice and endless list of jobs. DP is good at DIY but starts jobs and doesn’t finish them, just starts something else. I actually cried once when I got home to find he’d started sanding the kitchen ceiling so there was a layer of plaster dust over every kitchen item we had, and on the floor (including footprints into other rooms). He’d got bored of it and gone to the pub! We had a discussion after that and he hasn’t done anything that bad since.

I try not to think about the mice, we just put traps down and never leave any food out. Can you block any holes they’re using to get in, or is that not possible? I’ve never seen a mouse in the kitchen since blocking all the holes with wire wool but I don’t think the roof space will ever be 100% mouse free!

Does your DH understand how strongly you feel about it? He needs to do more and/or pay for someone to do the cleaning and garden. It sounds like you liked the house initially but no wonder you’ve had enough if you have to do all the upkeep.

I feel this
We moved to a doer upper in the country 4 years ago and still a long way from finished. We also have outbuildings to rebuild!
It is so overwhelming at times but I like to compare to when we were struggling to rent in a tiny 2 up 2 down and still feel so grateful for this opportunity.
As for the insects and mice, we do have 3 cats and a jack russell and hardly see any mice now!

My best friend would agree with you too. She is divorcing mainly over a house that they got a decade ago. The place while big and beautiful. It is also lots of work and a money pit. The husband was very keen on it. However, he does not help to even change a bulb let alone cleaning. He says is very busy working but it seems he is a mummy”s boy that everything was done for him. He refuses to leave to a smaller place so she had enough she said.
Houses are a big commitment so the whole family must help to look after. Plus a big budget for repairs.

Your dh needs to pull his weight.
He doesn’t want to move again.., then he needs to do his fair share or pay for a cleaner to come every couple of weeks to clean.
As others have said, hire a gardener to come one every six weeks or so to tidy the outside space. Outsourcing is the key

This is what leapt out for me, too, @Cheeseandwine30. YY to all the cheerily wise attitude-adjusting posts above. But what about the husband? If he's leaving you to look after the whole thing by yourself, it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed. You need him to adjust his attitude, and sharpish.

Get a cat and a gardener. And a new husband if this one won't pull his weight!

I feel you! We live in a similar house, and we’re still nowhere near a decade later! But I love the house and location, despite regularly wanting to leave! Get a cat. All our mice issue’s disappeared when we got our two. Light your fire and focus on the nice things about it.

I second the gardening service, a few times a year to help you get and keep on top of the garden, if you can afford it. Say every 3 months get them in, cut grass, cut back trees, weed and plant new flowers and then you just do the maintenance in between. The mice I hate hate hate hate!! Sorry meeces, it is you or me and I can buy traps lol. I'd be sealing every damn hole up with expanding foam to halt their march, buying my weight in traps and reclaiming my space.Plus a few sonar plug in's as they do help somewhat.

The spiders I hear they hate chestnuts and some essential oils, I just kill em here. although they don't bother me as such. Hoover is great for sucking em up and disposing of afterwards.

If you can afford a cleaning service occasionally as a treat to yourself and hubby ( more you) lets face it, as women always do the majority of the housework then by all means spend the money on these things. Get them in to do a deep clean once a month/every 2 months and you just pick up the slack in the meantime. Life is tough enough, there is no need to make it tougher as long as you can afford to do these things.

The house I'd personally set one day aside and get stuck into it, change beds, hoover bedrooms, clean bathrooms and kitchen and living room and then go to one of those garage washer/driers and do the whole batch of laundry in one go.

The other alternative is to pay a local once a week to come in for a half day and give you a hand with the cleaning.

I have gotten to the stage in my life there are things I love to do, and things I will gladly pay to have done for me. No regrets either as I'd rather sit and read or relax in my spare time

*wiring not willing 🤦‍♀️

We kind of have one of these.

At least everything you tackle you know is done and should last a while.

I feel now if we moved I would not know what's lurking waiting to go wrong whereas here we have replaced the sewers, the willing etc so feel like those things should be ok for a while.

There is always something though!

We have had some success with those sonic plug in mouse repellers.

I seem to be at odds with most responses but personally I don’t think YABU - you should both be happy with where you live, if you’re still not happy there after several years I think your DH should absolutely be open to moving again at some point. Why is the housework and outside space all down to you?

I hear you OP..my in-laws live in a Georgian farmhouse and it's a never ending money pit, it's really lovely but unless you have staff and a gardener then it's just drudgery with no end in sight usually DH and his siblings help out when they can but we've got busy lives plus our own money pit of a house, luckily my DH isn't against moving. You need a cat to help with the mice but it's not fair he leaves everything for you to do, its knackering...

A Jack Russell , a cat, and a gardening service should keep on top of the things that bother you.

I live in a Georgian flat in Edinburgh, and can sometimes hear mice moving around inside the walls.
It's getting colder and they're coming inside for a heat. Same with the spiders.
To be fair, in your location, it was always going to happen!
I second the plug-in pest repellents that emit the high pitched noises. I've just bought some on Amazon that have 3 variable pitches. The highest one must drive them crazy!

Pick up the phone and call Rentokil.

Or go out and buy mouse poison. Or both.

I get fed up just looking at the washing up pile every morning and it can feel overwhelming. Cleaning, cooking and doing basic chores is just never ending. And that's before I even get to wish and imagine what we'd do to the place. I spent one day this week deep cleaning a small room. Totally depressing. Would love to replace floors, windows, plaster, paint - sort out the garden and everything - where to find the time and energy? And I'm in a simple two up two down.

Spiders and other little beasties don't like strong smelling essential oils like peppermint or tea tree. You could add them to water (shake well) or cleaning products to clean around window frames, skirting boards etc, to deter them. Keep the place as uncluttered as possible.

We’ve been in our ancient, middle-of-nowhere house for nearly 4 years and the spiders this year are the worst I’ve seen! Something to do with the weather 😬
Practically, get yourselves on first name terms with the local pest controller, buy white vinegar and spray liberally at potential spider entry points, chop down all climbing plants that mice could scale to get in to the house, put up bird and bat boxes so they have somewhere to nest/roost that is not your roof and if you are allowed and can afford, swap wooden windows and doors for alternative materials so there’s nothing to appeal to wood lice.
I love our house but the squatters have been a source of frustration (along with the council but that’s another thread!)
Good luck

There are plugs that emit a high pitch noise to repel mice they do work well.

OMG! I feel ya OP! For 9 years I lived in an old house, in the middle of fields, I absolutely LOVED the setting, but my goodness the critturs were a whole other matter! If it wasn't mice in the walls, it was bats in the roof, and forget to close the doors or windows at dusk, and you'd go indoors to find bats flying all over the place, and have to spend ages chasing the blighters to get them out. Then I'd spend a very sleepless night wondering if they'd all gone, and sometimes woke up to find one flying round the bedroom. They absolutely terrified me! It took us the whole 9 years to get the place up together sufficiently to sell it and we did make a really good profit, but I hope I never cast eyes on another mouse or bat! I know we're all Gods creatures, but although I'm a country girl at heart, having my house invaded by things that didn't belong there, nearly drove me to drink! lol.

Having said all that, if it's your DH who's so keen to stay there, then he needs to do his FAIR share of the work whether it be indoors or out, as big places in the countryside do require a heck of a lot of maintenance and ongoing work. Good luck!

Particularly the male DH type..😉

Our cottage is 170 years old. Surrounded by farmland and a river across the lane. Critters abound. You get used to it, put traps out for the mice. I love the stone walls, sash windows a creaky floorboards. It will be here long after I'm dead. Stick with it, light your candles and have a glass of wine, you'll be fine.