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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She bought the same coat as me.

396 replies

imgonnadowild · 12/09/2024 20:46

I treated myself to a new coat and I finally wore it today as it actually felt like the right weather.

Met a friend for dinner and she said how nice it was where did I get it. She then got out her phone and bought it.

I feel a bit annoyed. It’s a coat so an item of clothing that you wear a lot, I wouldn’t be bothered if it was say a top or jeans - but I won’t want to turn up when I meet her both wearing the same thing. Aibu?

OP posts:
GRex · 12/09/2024 21:50

I don't get it, if you buy a one-off then they'll design her something different / if it's off the rack then thousands have that coat. I have someone who does our laundry; she has asked about pants, leggings and dresses. I find that pleasing and flattering.

allmyliesaretrue · 12/09/2024 21:49

Borborygmus · 12/09/2024 21:28

I don't get it either, it seems bizarre.

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It's pretty obvious, tbf!

DeCaray · 12/09/2024 21:49

Are you annoyed because she's bought a size or two smaller than you and will look better in it?

NoSnowdrop · 12/09/2024 21:49

RampantIvy · 12/09/2024 21:24

Please can the posters who would be annoyed that someone else has the same taste as them please explain why they would be annoyed that a friend has bought the same item.

I just don't get it.

Unless the coat is a very distinctive style or colour I daresay that most people wouldn't even notice that they were the same.

It’s not that her friend has the same taste as her as much as the friend doesn’t choose her own bloody coat.

I don’t know why people are calling the OP childish about this, it’s the friend who sounds like a teenager immediately getting out her phone to buy the same thing.

i totally get why you’re annoyed OP and I would be too. Oh and I too am on an 8 figure salary Wink

Original poster
imgonnadowild · 12/09/2024 21:48

imverynosey · 12/09/2024 21:38

Sorry my last comment was harsh and I can't delete it now which is crap lol but chill it just shows you have good taste

Why would you even want to delete it? Shows your true colours ☺️

OP posts:
ThisPresetIsSelected · 12/09/2024 21:48

ash677x · 12/09/2024 20:48

If all you are worried about in life is your friend wearing the same coat as you you need to grow up! Primary school drama.

If all you've got to worry about is what someone is posting on MN, then you're very lucky!

Or.... would you say that a post on MN doesn't represent everything a person worries about?

wwyd2021medicine · 12/09/2024 21:48

Here for the coat too!
Come on OP

allmyliesaretrue · 12/09/2024 21:47

RampantIvy · 12/09/2024 21:24

Please can the posters who would be annoyed that someone else has the same taste as them please explain why they would be annoyed that a friend has bought the same item.

I just don't get it.

Unless the coat is a very distinctive style or colour I daresay that most people wouldn't even notice that they were the same.

I only wear distinctive, darling - I don't 'do' generic!!

Because you look fucking stupid if you go out both wearing the same thing!! Isn't it obvious? I never buy from Next (and never will again because everyone ends up wearing the same thing!) but I once saw a gilet I liked and bought it in the sale.

Went for dinner with a group of friends shortly after, and one of the other ladies was wearing the same one. I never wore it again.

OhMrPleasant · 12/09/2024 21:47

I get it OP. Friends wearing the same clothes is very much a teenage thing, they want to be part of the herd by wearing the uniform. Once you develop your own style, you want it be just that; your own. If you go for something that is a bit unusual or quirky, especially a large item like a coat, it makes a statement about you. If someone copies it, especially with something identical, then you're back to the gang uniform again, no longer your own person. There's no flattery in that, especially if that person had no style of their own to begin with.

ladygindiva · 12/09/2024 21:46

Me and my bestie are always copying each other and buying stuff the other has 🤣

Edingril · 12/09/2024 21:46

OK and?

PiggieWig · 12/09/2024 21:46

Do people really not understand why this would be annoying?

I’m assuming it’s a fancy coat, or distinctive in some way or the friend wouldn’t have admired it.

(This does not apply if it’s a Dry Robe)

Woodlandervibe · 12/09/2024 21:45

No I get it OP. At uni I lived with a girl, we even shared the same first name, who used to copy everything I wore. It was very single white female. Drove me fucking mad. I had to resort to getting everything vintage/ second hand it became so extreme.

She was a lovely person though. Bit posh. Maybe that’s why, being privately educated meant she hadn’t really developed much of a personality at that stage.

Anyway. I empathise because it’s so creepy.

allmyliesaretrue · 12/09/2024 21:43

imverynosey · 12/09/2024 21:36

This is absolutely pathetic I'm actually laughing at your "problems" hahaha

God you are easily amused aren't you!! That is more pathetic tbh!

IBlameTheDog · 12/09/2024 21:43

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/09/2024 21:40

I get it.

You treat yourself to something, you look for exactly what you want, put the effort in and then feel great in it. Then someone whips out their phone, buys the same thing and suddenly it isnt special anymore.

Also, I would hate the "matchy matchy" look if she wore the same coat at the same time and wonder if people think I copied her.

Sounds like she doesnt have much imagination if she constantly copies you. Some people would say it is the sincerest form of flattery but I disagree, its the sincerest form of laziness! Letting other people do all the work and then nick their ideas.

Agree completely

I'd be annoyed too.

greenshade · 12/09/2024 21:42

You dont own all the coats and i think your being a bit silly about it.
Just shows you have style.
What coat is it asking for a friend.

UltramarineViolet · 12/09/2024 21:41

@PyongyangKipperbang You've summed it up perfectly!

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/09/2024 21:40

I get it.

You treat yourself to something, you look for exactly what you want, put the effort in and then feel great in it. Then someone whips out their phone, buys the same thing and suddenly it isnt special anymore.

Also, I would hate the "matchy matchy" look if she wore the same coat at the same time and wonder if people think I copied her.

Sounds like she doesnt have much imagination if she constantly copies you. Some people would say it is the sincerest form of flattery but I disagree, its the sincerest form of laziness! Letting other people do all the work and then nick their ideas.

Calliopespa · 12/09/2024 21:39

Countingcactus · 12/09/2024 20:57

This! Please tell us, we promise not to turn to where you are.

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Yes I was going to say we can’t possibly comment until we have a link …

armadillio · 12/09/2024 21:39

Yes, she should have bought it discreetly.

imverynosey · 12/09/2024 21:38

Sorry my last comment was harsh and I can't delete it now which is crap lol but chill it just shows you have good taste

Compash · 12/09/2024 21:38

I get it. I think it was weird and provocative of her to order it right there and then in front of you. What message was she trying to give you, I wonder? 🤔 That you can't stop her being enmeshed with you if she chooses? That she thinks you're her Bestie Fwend and you just think of her as A Friend? As a one-off, maybe not a problem, but it sounds like she has previous about the globe lights etc.

A psychologist would have a better idea of why, but maybe it's like animals don't like being observed closely because that's what predators do? I know she's not going to lunge across the restaurant table and start devouring you (UNLESS SHE IS!), but it's generally unnerving to be closely scrutinised.

Reverse psychology, next time you buy something and she doesn't copy it, start demanding why, what's wrong with it, doesn't she like it? 😁

RampantIvy · 12/09/2024 21:38

Such a first world problem.

Chillimuma · 12/09/2024 21:37

Link pls

VibeVanguard · 12/09/2024 21:37

Yeah this would annoy me too.

my friend did this frequently and I always found it irritating.