To ask if another man has ever stepped in when you were being harassed?

Yes i am insane for seeing the funny side to things

what have you found funny on this thread @greenshade? Is it the countless stories of harassment and attempted rape, or something else?

I think low level interventions are effective because they don't escalate the situation. Bullies are often cowards but there's no guarantee that someone drunk or high won't react badly if challenged. It's possibly safer for a woman to get involved than a man.

My DH once asked a guy, pestering me in a pub, "Is she bothering you?". The drunk was known for getting into fights so the normal challenge would probably have gone wrong.

When I was 19 I was being harassed whilst waiting for a bus in the dark, late at night. Another man came along and pretended to know me, gave me firm eye contact, we got chatting and the other man backed off straight away. I was so grateful. This was 40 years ago but I've never forgotten.

Only once did a man step in when I was harassed by another man. There's been a few occasions where a group of women have stepped in.

I've also stepped in a few times when I've seen other women being harassed. It's frightening though as you never know if the man will back down or get more aggressive.

No, never.

One time I was being verbally and physically harassed by a group of males on the bus, which was jam packed with other people. I was 17 at the time and petrified. Not one person on that bus spoke up for me, until these males had got off the bus when one bloke asked me if I was ok. I just looked at him. Funnily enough the police also couldn't have cared less.

There's an interesting book called The Bystander Effect, about the reasons people don't intervene.

@greenshade if you for one second think this thread is shining a positive light on male behaviour you’re insane

a friend of my husbands stepped in to help a woman , ended up being attacked and fighting for his life in hospital, luckily he recovered

My now ex h was being yelled at by a neighbour. I'd complained to his wife they wouldn't fix a fence that would stop my toddler getting into their garden where they had a pond. I explained he could drown, she told me that was my problem. I said I'll replace the fence. The man flew out of his house and started laying into my h verbally. I stepped between them and he backed off.

My child was never in the garden alone so never at risk but we all know the dangers of water.

Nope. Women have, though. And I’ve done the same for other women.

I had a similar thought but then realised that it’s the best way to minimise the chance of them getting into a risky situation. Direct confrontation could lead to physical aggression whereas pretending to be the boyfriend is more subtle.

I did too 😬🤷🏻‍♀️

No worries I thought it was.

It wasn't funny though.

This doesn't fit either but your post reminded me of a story my mum told me recently. When she was 16 she had an older boyfriend who was bad news, very controlling. She finally asked him round to tell him she wanted to break up with him. She'd never told my grandparents anything about the situation (how he treated her, etc), but my granddad evidently knew something was afoot because he stood silently on the landing outside her door, pretending to change a lightbulb for about half an hour till the guy finally stormed off 😄

Once, in thirty years of harassment. A group of early-twenties males had surrounded me, honking and braying, on my late walk home. Most of them left when the traffic lights changed, except one who kept trying to grab at me. He was aggressive and entitled and frankly very scary. One of the party came back to take his prick friend away and genuinely apologised for him.
Males have harassed me since I was 11 years old in primary school uniform right up to yesterday at the supermarket.
One man helped, in all those years. One.

I’m in my 50s and had it happen a couple of times, once when I was much younger and once a couple of years ago. It was nice of them. Pretty sparse given I’ve been harassed a thousand or more times, though.

I’ve had far more women step in. Normally just by directly asking if I’m okay or want to join them rather than putting themselves in the line of fire.

Once. I was about 14 or 15 and working in my local chemist. A bloke, middle aged was asking me what I was studying at school, asked if I knew Romeo and Juliet and then all this stuff about what Juliet knew at my age. I wasn't behind the counter, I must have been shelving stuff and he started trying to touch me and as I tried to get away from him he was basically chasing me around the shop. My - male - boss head in the pharmacy but thankfully a regular customer came in and got the creepy man to leave.

I've been in situations where no one helped. Once being trapped in a photo booth with a couple of friends by drunk men who were reaching out to touch us up. I got so angry that no one was helping - I was shouting out "Help!" that the rage gave me the strength to push past them, pulling my friends with me and then shouted at the bastards which seemed to work.

I was punched in the face by a bloke who'd been harrassing me on the way home from school for quite some time. Nobody did anything in the street but I know my mum's boyfriend went looking for him and I have no idea what happened. I hope not some horrible violence but he never came near me again - punching man - so something happened.

Mostly women step in and if I see things happening to other women I will step in. I once got barred from the uni bar for helping out a younger woman who was so drunk she could hardly stay upright who had a group of blokes around her being incredibly creepy. Unfortunately they were friends with the rugger buggers who were doormen. When I got to put my side of the story I was allowed back in the bar and the doormen were sacked.

The railway companies do make lots of money- they can afford to pay drivers good wages!
The train guards get way less money than the drivers. Thats why we absolutely should have a guard or inspector on trains..

It’s standard in places like France. Yet in the UK it’s all about saving money rather than paying for a guard- which wouldn’t be that expensive.

Surrey safety should be a priority? Cctv isn’t the same a person on board.

Not once.

Kind of but actually one technique that has been promoted is pretending you know the woman- so go up and say “hey, sorry to interrupt- how are you- haven’t seen you for ages. How’s your mum? ” because it is low confrontation and means the situation is likely to diffuse rather than escalate. It would be great to tell the douche to fuck off but it might also get you head butted. Just because you’re a guy doesn’t mean you’re not a bit scared.

When I was around 17 a male friend intervened and stopped a mutual acquaintance from raping me. We were at a house party and he walked past the living room where this guy had me pinned to the floor and was taking my clothes off while I drunkenly tried to push him off me and telling him to get the fuck off me. My friend stopped, took in the scene and said very casually "Aw come on man, leave her alone won't you?".

I felt weird about it for a very long time. Don't get me wrong, I'm so very fucking glad he did intervene. But there was something insane about the situation at the same time - he said it so casually, like what this man was going to me was just a bit out of order, instead of a literal crime and surely a horrifying thing to know that someone is capable of. It means so much when men intervene, and it costs them so little, but I also think that many of them really don't understand the gravity of their intervention.

Last mam that tried to sexually harass me got his teeth knocked out by a lovely lever arch file with a metal edge.

In the day and age of filming, even covertly ,I wonder if the OPs situation with that man was filmed? If so British Transport police would probably like a word with him?

Is it worth the OP informing the rail operator?