To ask if another man has ever stepped in when you were being harassed?

Yeah a lovely man in a club helped me, I was dancing with my friends and a guy wouldn’t leave me alone was touching, grabbing at me constantly so this other man saw at was happening pulled me away kissed me on the head and said come on babe let’s go get a drink now sorry I’m late I’m literally so grateful to him the other guy was so handsy and scary and just wouldn’t take no for an answer

I wasn’t the one being harassed, but was on a long haul flight where a terrible angry old man started shouting at the flight attendant for moving his bag. I couldn’t believe how he was talking to this young lady and immediately sided with her, saying she didn’t touch his belongings fgs! Then a young man stood up and firmly spoke to this idiotic man and told him to cut it out. 👏

Yeah, this really isn't a thread for giggly menz shite. Even if the MRA's on here would like us all to stop talking about their appalling behaviour.

Rape, sexual assault, harassment, violence, intimidating - oh excuse me while I hold my sides it's so funny. NOT. Honestly I despair.

Fortunately I've never experienced much harrassment and nothing serious. But DH has stepped in when he saw a couple arguing and was worried the man was being aggressive. The woman brushed it off but his intervening seemed to have taken the edge off whatever was going on. My brother intervened when he saw a man attacking a woman and had to appear as a witness in court.

A man in a rock music club put his arm/hand down the inside of my t shirt (at the front).

I punched him to the floor but knew if he got up I couldn't actually have fought him.

He scrambled to his feet and 3 or 4 blokes just said "no, mate" and pushed him back on the floor!

Yes, something like this sort of happened to me.

It was about ten years ago when I was 26 and temping at a fancy but very secretive equity house (I was in between “proper” jobs at the time).

I was commuting from Brighton to London at the time and I started work at 7.00 am on the dot (I was a front of house receptionist / secretary and the ppl employing me were super strict).

I was walking from Bond Street tube station to Portman Square where the office was at about 06.45 am. I noticed an older guy coming towards me looking a bit disturbed and being totally belligerent and I was really hoping he wouldn’t notice me. Sadly he did. He towered over me and shouted in my face. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me.

Then, coming from the same direction another man, mid 30s ish, was walking and talking on his mobile phone happy as anything. I think he’d just clocked off his shift as he was wearing one of those bright orange high-vis jackets that tube workers (the engineering people I mean) wear. Any way, he realised straight away what was going on and cool as you like said to whoever was on the other end of the line “I’ll call you back”. He turned to the belligerent man and said assertively but calmly “leave her alone“ and the man backed off and walked away. The high vis man then walked me part of the way to my office. I was a bit embarrassed by the whole event and just nervously giggled „thank you, he was a bit of a troubled soul wasn’t he?“.

To this day I still feel a lot of affection for any person wearing one of those orange high vis jackets. Crazy I know.

"That's what the poster meant - Andrew Tate would say this thread shows masculinity has it's uses and would be used as evidence that 'men should be men' or whatever crap they say.

The poster isn't agreeing with him."

@GelatoPistacchio it would be really nice if one of the earliest comments on a thread where women are discussing painful and difficult memories of harassment and abuse didn't derail by mentioning the likes of Andrew Tate. Enough already.

I've had lovely guys look out for me and, at times, walk me to my car so I was safe from creeps who were harrassing me. Not all guys are awful, but not all nice guys intervene either.

I've been abused by some rando stranger who tried to grab me and hug me at lunch in a city park. Why would I want a rando touching me?

I was being harassed by my ex husband (who'd had a 7 yr affair) in the street. I was driving and he was chasing me in his car as he found out I was going on a date. He trapped me, wrenched my car door open and started shouting abuse at me and crying.

A man passing by in his car slowed down, and called to me if I wanted him to call the police. I said no but he did anyway. This man ended up being my neighbour!

If men weren’t like Andrew Tate women wouldn’t need protecting.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a man step up for me like this but can think of three occasions when other women have done so. Once i was attacked on a crowded tube. None of the men stepped in but a girl my own age did by calling him out really loudly and asking why no blokes nearby were sticking up for me, that was enough to put him off thankfully.

@CoffySalon It's disgusting that men do this.

When the Good Guy left, and the perve started on you again, did you feel like calling him out?

I was assaulted once on a bus when a guy (middle aged, well dressed, cashmere overcoat) started rubbing himself against my arm (I was in an aisle seat.)

I was new to a big city and had no idea at first what was going on. I assumed it was 'accidental' as it happened when the bus swerved round a very big roundabout and he was swaying against my seat.

I said nothing but now I wish I'd stood up and shouted 'WTF are you doing!' And told the whole bus he was rubbing his penis against my arm.

These men need to be called out.

That's what the poster meant - Andrew Tate would say this thread shows masculinity has it's uses and would be used as evidence that 'men should be men' or whatever crap they say.

The poster isn't agreeing with him

Yes. Dublin 22 years ago in Blooms Hotel, I'll never forget it. I was 18 and drinking in the hotel bar with a male friend. There was a huge group of men we were both chatting to and then a lone male at the bar. Male friend went upstairs to our room because he was drunk. I felt safe because the group of men were jovial and friendly, I didn't feel threatened at all, plus we were in the hotel so didn't think much of being on my own.

Lone male at the bar started staring at me creepily, honestly can't explain how he was just staring straight at me it was weird, bar man asked if I was okay and I assured him I was. A couple more drinks and I forgot about the lone male and went to the toilets. Whilst in the cubicle I heard someone enter, I had been the only female in the entire bar so I knew it was creepy lone man.

I left the cubicle and he was stood blocking the door and I froze. Thankfully bar man came in right that second and grabbed him and threw him out before he could do anything to me. It sends shivers down my spine to think what would've happened had he not noticed him follow me in or if it happened now when no one would have intervened for fear of being called a "transphobe" as the very obvious male could identify as female.

Twice. Living abroad and partying with American soldiers. One guy kept touching me and wouldn't leave me alone. Another soldier (he was a genuine amazing guy) ended up telling him to back off and leave me alone.

Second time...Italy 16 years old. Local follows me into the bathroom, grabs my face and tries to kiss me. I remember just yelling no. Him saying "no?" And yelling no again before really quickly ducking under his arm and getting out of there. I told the "holiday friend" I was with who then told the owner of the bar. The owner was very angry and made him leave. He was a great guy. He used to walk drunk holiday makers back to the hotel not far away as he knew some dodgy guys would be sitting in cars and waiting.

It was something I heard about and just bounced straight into my head. I just took a deep breath and went for it. People laughed, he went red and said ‘I wasn’t doing anything..’ a few blokes gave him some hard stares!

Yes, back in the 90s. I was surrounded by a group of men in a pub who were taunting me
on my way back to the bar from the loo, pinching my bum, saying rude things to me. I was out with a mixed group and suddenly a few of the boys/young men I was with faced off these guys and we all left the pub. It was so striking, how seriously they took it. I didn’t need to ask for help, tell them I wanted to leave or anything. It just happened. I think that’s the most I have felt supported and understood by men in that kind of situation and we were so young. I guess at the same time extremely vulnerable. Really mixed feelings

That’s brilliant. The last time a bloke grabbed my arse I turned around a punched him as hard as I could in the stomach but he was so fat my fist just kind of bounced off him. Wish I’d thought to do what you did!

In broad daylight at a bus stop I was waiting for a bus standing near the kerb when a couple of guys pulled up in a car and tried to persuade me to go with them. When I said no they tried to pull me into the car. I held onto a post and they kept pulling, so two guys sitting at the stop got up one held onto me and the other pushed the guys away they both told them to leave me alone.

Such a weird thing to do with people around!

When I think of it now it didn’t even occur to me to tell the police. I didn’t get their licence plate anyway.

Nope. I was attacked on the street by a group of men, one of whom pushed me to the ground and held a broken beer bottle to my throat. Other men just walked by. Two young women ran after me when I eventually broke free to give me my bag back as the men had literally torn it from my shoulder.

That is so disgusting. I'm so sorry you went through that.

It's "masculinity" that leads to the behaviour in the first place. That's like saying guns have their uses as you can shoot a gun wielding maniac with a gun 🙄

So no, masculinity doesn't have its uses, it's just that some men (and very few of them at that) have the good grace to step up when one of their own is being abusive.

Yes I have. I still remember him. I was 17 or so and being harassed on a fairly empty tube by a drunk guy, I kept moving seats and he kept following me. This other guy who I hadn’t noticed just came and sat next to me, I thought oh my god I’ve got another one, but he was so kind, asking me what stop I was getting off and if anybody was meeting me. The drunk guy immediately backed off. He really saved me.