Emailed the headteacher aibu?

School worker here. For a threat like this I would email both the Head and the Chair of Governors and I would also make a report to the safeguarding team at your local authority Children and Young Persons Service. This is a safeguarding concern for a disturbed child. You could even speak to the police. Who knows what’s happening at home. The flip side of this would be that your child will feel protected. Your school have been very lazy with this situation.

No, the chair will just pass it back to the head.

Report it to the NSPCC as a safeguarding concern. They WILL take it seriously.

I am a school governor.

The school have repeatedly failed to safeguard your daughter. Honestly I would be reporting the latest threat to the police, she may only be 8 but the boys who killed Jamie Bulger were similar ages.

I would also find the schools complaints policy, ofsted requires that it has to be on their website, go through it and file a formal complaint. Ensure you mirror the terminology used in the policy, but use key phrases like failure to safeguard etc.

Feel free to DM me if you want any additional info or support in doing the complaint.

You didn’t overreact at all. I think you need to log every incident, every interaction with the school and keep it all recorded. Also ask for their bullying policy. If this isn’t sorted you have given them lots of chances and you need a meeting and then governors if needed

You definitely did not overreact I would have made a formal complaint. Youve spoken to them enough times

You haven’t over reacted at all. Your poor daughter. I would be all guns blazing and on top of the recommendations others have made I would mention that you’re considering escalating the threats to kill your 8 month old to the police. I hope this is resolved for you both soon

To be honest you should have escalated it much sooner. It sounds as though your child was bullied all last year and nothing was done despite you speaking to her teacher. I would be speaking to class teacher every time my child was upset and if it continued after 2 or 3 complaints I would involve the head and then the governors. Your child needs you to advocate for her. Don't leave it to her to tell the teacher as they clearly aren't dealing with it. Probably the other child has issues but that doesn't mean your child should suffer

Mixed race. Grew up in a white area. Was bullied by a few girls who were so cruel at school about my brown skin and my curls . Aged 35 I cry for that child I was. I still feel ashamed of myself .
By the time I was 8 I hated myself. It has impacted me hugely.

‘it will be sorted ‘ or ‘ Lucy is very sorry for what she said !’ I just accepted I would be bullied. I have absolutely no self confidence even though on paper I’ve achieved well ! I will always look back in terror ar primary school.

You have done the right thing. I’m so sorry this is happening to your child. This is not acceptable and if this isn’t dealt with I’d be removing my child.
Rascism/ sexism / homophia is not acceptable . I’d make it clear to the school they will
lose your daughter if they don’t sort this.

I don’t think you overreacted. Simply mentioning things to the teacher so they can deal with it is a good way to do things at first but when it hasn’t worked - as here - you need to start making sure there is a paper trail and oversight.

I think you need to arm yourself with the school’s bullying and racism policies and start insisting the school follows them. Report every incident via email, no matter how minor. If they don’t follow those policies, find the complaints policy and follow that. Keep escalating until you get a reasonable result.

Sorry your poor DD is dealing with this, there really are some horrible kids out there.

You didn't over react at all, kick off and don't stop until this child is dealt with properly and don't feel bad about it. Your daughter deserves to enjoy her time in school and feel safe.

I think this child needs a mental health review. Her parents are certainly going to be called into school about this. I think there could be a racial element to it from what you've said and that will have come from her home. I think they'll be questions asked about the times you've raised it before and it hasn't been nipped in the bud. Were her parents informed previously? I would be thinking about contacting the local police about this latest threat as its such concerning behaviour. If they were adults your daughter could get a restraining order. Throw the book at it this time. Police, social services, school - everything in writing, full belts and braces approach.
That child is a danger.

I'd have hit the roof long before you did tbh, it's ridiculous that schools just don't deal with this type of behaviour while your child is left miserable in school.

I’m a teacher and you have absolutely done the right thing! Your poor daughter shouldn’t have to put up with that and yes it’s also concerning for the other child, they need help too.

Hope the head gets back to you quickly

I have had this with my daughter who is also half Pakistani. The teachers spoke to the kids but the next day my daughter returned to school after refusing to go for weeks and 2 of them continued physically hurting her. I emailed the head teacher that night and the next day I approached her and she said i got the email and will be dealing with it today. One girl kept going so I contacted her mum...... who was mortified! Not happened again since. Make sure you have paper trails or contact with the school. Worse case scenario grab the parent outside the school if they dismiss you make a scene. I told the head teacher if they kept going I was going to kick their parents heads in (not my finest moment) but that's how angry I was. I hope your daughter's okay. Mines had really bad anxiety after xxx

You did the right thing. This girl is seriously disturbed Your poor daughter. I really hope she will be ok and you get this sorted 💐

That is dreadful! Well done for doing something about it. I’d absolutely reference the racism as well.

I would also ask whether the previous incidents have been recorded. Whilst not a legal requirement AFAIK, I think it is standard practice to log incidents of racism and bullying. When I was a school governor, we had data on these (and some other categories) twice a term. All of the racist incidents I ever heard of (from parents, not as a governor) resulted in a suspension.

If i had kids id never send them to school they would be feral but not trapped in school.

You've not overreacted at all!

I used t9mlisten to little ones in school when one girl started talking about beheading people and other scary things. I was concerned they'd been allowed to watch inappropriate TV. I told the teacher and it turned out they had had a history lesson! But the teacher was fine and I was glad I had checked.

We all need to care for each other and there might be something going on for this child. Your dd is clearly your priority but you are helping both.

I think if it were me, I would say that one more comment and I would be going to the police as this girl clearly has significant issues and the school has not been taking them seriously. They have a duty of care to your child’s physical and mental wellbeing too.

No you reacted fine, I would have overreacted and marched round to reception and demanded to see the headteacher, so you did better than I would have!

If you don’t hear back email them again and make sure you use certain words “you want to make a formal complaint” “your daughters mental health is being affected due to potential neglect from the school”

You are expecting a response to your email by x date and you would like an action plan in place by X date.

Absolutely disgusting. The nasty little bully needs putting in her place once and for all. Your poor daughter.

Your child has to enjoy school and what you have described is unacceptable. You did the right thing. Keep the communication open with the head and as others have said if you're not happy then meet them in person and escalate to governors.

Hope it all gets sorted soon

I email our headteacher over far less!
Yes, me too! Hopefully he will get it sorted for you, but don't be afraid to email again.

So they can't talk specifically about a child's ongoing issues. BUT they can feed back about incidents involving your child. So ask tomorrow whether it has been investigated. Dont go in with demands other than an instance that it be looked into properly.