Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for help in how to address this with school?

158 replies

pervyteacher · 12/09/2024 18:08

Dd (18) is in her 2nd year of sixth form. Last year when she was 17, an issue arose with a male teacher whose behaviour was highlighted as inappropriate with female pupils, one of whom was my daughter. He had been taking selfies on their phones and sending them links to inappropriate things on social media (I don't know the details as my daughter wasn't involved in the latter, but he did use her phone to take weird selfies). Anyway, at the time I spoke with the school's safeguarding lead who assured me that they were dealing with it and it was referred to the police. The teacher was not suspended and my daughter told me that, while she still saw him occasionally around the school, he'd been advised by the safeguarding lead in no uncertain terms not to have any contact with her.

Today my daughter called me at work upset, saying she had seen him and he had asked her to "meet him in a classroom for a chat". She made and excuse and scarpered with her friend. Later in one of her classes she said she saw him hanging around outside the door looking in, which she assumed was for her. She later left her lesson and said she got herself out of the school as quickly as possible to avoid him, and came home.

I'm really angry that she's being made to feel this way, and although it doesn't seem he's done anything that constitutes a criminal offence and is clearly still employed, I do not think he should be lurking around my daughter making her feel this way.

Before I call the school with all guns blazing, how would you handle this? AIBU to be angry, or do I need to let my now adult daughter handle this? She's only very recently turned 18 if that's relevant.

OP posts:
pervyteacher · 12/09/2024 18:17

What angered me most was that she felt the need to get away from the place as quickly as possible so she didn't have to face him, she shouldn't be made to feel that way! She's under enough pressure as it is with the workload and doing her A levels, this is totally unacceptable. I'm so angry.

OP posts:
MissUltraViolet · 12/09/2024 18:17

Yeah, go all guns blazing.

This is not okay, never should have happened in the first place and he certainly shouldn't still be putting her in a position where she is feeling uncomfortable. He should not be allowed to be alone with your daughter, in a classroom or anywhere else.

bugaboofan · 12/09/2024 18:15

I'd even be inclined to get the police involved. The audacity of that behaviour in public I dread to think what might be going on behind closed doors

pervyteacher · 12/09/2024 18:15

Do you think a strongly worded email is the way to go? I want a paper trail of this.

OP posts:
pervyteacher · 12/09/2024 18:13

Yes it's a sixth form centre attached to a secondary school.

OP posts:
Cheshireflamingo · 12/09/2024 18:13

Sorry just re-read your post, school not college.

Calamitousness · 12/09/2024 18:13

By all means call the school all guns blazing. Go straight to the safeguarding lead and copy in the head teacher/education trust/governers.

This is massively unacceptable behaviour. She may be 18 but she is still a student in an institution where he is in a position of authority.
He should not be contacting her and asking to meet in private. This is not allowed and will be against teachers registering body regulations and school policy as well I would expect.

Cheshireflamingo · 12/09/2024 18:12

It doesn't matter that your daughter is 18 - this is a 6th form college, as a parent you are allowed to get involved. This sounds absolutely outrageous. Why is he still there? Absolutely right for you to contact the college.