..To be mortified at the treatment of rape victims at the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre?

Yes this is important. Didn’t the male have 2 other options, the male support & the trans support yet he chose the women’s support and when Sarah objected she was removed from the service?

It is because we all keep quiet. I don't. I speak out in shops, saying 'There is a man in a ladies' changing room'. I speak out at GPs, when I want to see a woman doctor, I insist I see a woman doctor, I don't care what they say. I just say 'I want a woman'. End of. If I see a trans person in town, obviously I don't call them Sir, because this is not important, etc. If it is a hairdresser who is a trans man to woman, I see no problem with it, but psychologists, doctors, child teachers - sorry, we must speak out, we must not be silent.

I can't get over that a man with no therapeutic training skills whatsoever was allowed to join in with therapy sessions for women who had been raped and got to ask them if they orgasmed as they were being raped. Then went on to describe these experiences as the fun, enjoyable part of his job. He's a very sick man.

I am very sorry about what happened to your son. I hope he got the support and help he needed

But. You know who set up these services for women? women did. In the face of horrendous hostility.

So i don't think it's too much to ask that for a crime that mostly has women as victims, and pen as perpetrators, keeps the sexes separate.

Men, of course, are welcome to campaign for and run rape centres for male victims. They will get advice, help and support from women who have done all this before. Unlike women who just get abuse and obstacles.

The lack of single sex support groups is not just limited to the ERCC.

Sarah is suing Sussex rape crisis an survivors network to try and get a female only support group. Currently the women's group is open to anyone who identifies as a woman despite the fact there is a separate trans group
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4539958-big-update-on-rape-crisis-legal-challenge

I'm not really comfortable with referring to a trans woman, who has lived as a woman for many many years, as a man. It seems unnecessarily hateful, and detracts from what otherwise could be valid points being made.

They will have only lived as whatever they see a woman as being, not with the biology of an actual female.
It's hateful to assume a woman ( or a man) is just a concept or identity that one can adopt.

I'd like to say some of the posts on this thread are astonishing but they're not.

This is about females being harmed because male feelings were prioritised over female rape survivors needs. And yet again here are several posters saying "but what about male feelings"

Give your heads a wobble FFS.

So a vulnerable women has been raped and is trying to access assistance at a traumatic time. And because they raise a question over the gender of someone involved in that care they are:

1. bigoted, and
2. need pulling up about being bigoted. I read a podcast transcript of the lead person involved in this debacle, and that’s the theme: bigoted people can get raped and need to be held responsible for their bigoted views. I am sorry but anyone with half a brain can understand that a woman or young girl who has just been raped is extremely vulnerable and everything should be done to make that victim feel safe. That’s it. As for the employee who was hounded because she wanted to protect these victims, what an awful ordeal for her, too.

@MartinsSpareCalculator I don’t really care if you feel uncomfortable with a male being called a man. You can believe that MW is a woman but thankfully you can’t force other people to pretend to.

The toxic culture at ERC was because MW and his helpful idiot trustees thought that their beliefs mattered more than the women using the service.

I wonder who voted YABU. Are they going to comment ?

Okay so if your son is too traumatised why don't you or your husband or your father or your brother or one of your son's friends do the campaigning then?

If everyone thought like you - that nobody who had actually experienced or was close to someone who had should be expected to get involved in organising better support and treatment there wouldn't BE ANY rape centres at all, ever.

What part of my comment would make you think I disagree with anything your saying?

I just found the comment reprehensible.

Advising people to get involved in campaigning is good advice. Its how to change things if you actually want change.

Its the commonest reason for people getting involved in campaigning - their direct experience of the problems caused by poor services, lack of services or gaps in understanding.

Now how about sticking to the actual discussion which was about one man and his appalling treatment of women?

I don't agree that only women are capable of managing a rape support service, because women are not unique in suffering rape or sexual assault.

From Police Scotland in 2022/23 94% of rape or attempted rape victims were female. 86% of sexual assault victims were female.

The man that runs that centre - he has no GRC so is a man and I can call him a man - is an utter disgrace.

Is 'man' hateful terminology now? He is one, biologically and legally, he told women to reframe their trauma and called them bigots if they wanted to be in a supportive environment without a man.

How about we, for once, have one thread about how males are impacting and affecting a womens only service without people coming on and making it about men?

It's like men and their apologists have to make everything about them because God forbid, the patriarchy and its fanclub goes without attention.

They can indeed provide trans ppl with rape support

what they can’t do - and which they absolutely did do - is to refuse to guarantee single sex rape support to women who ask for it

Women were not offered women only sessions. They were offered sessions which were available to anyone who identified as a woman and where the therapist could be a biological male identifying as a woman. That isn't therapy - its a basic of therapy that the client must be able to feel comfortable with the therapist.

I wasn't particularly comfortable with a male (no GRC) with a history of bizarre publicity tactics for dubious causes being put in a role which can legally be restricted to a female and which requires considerable diplomatic skills.

Why is it hateful to call a man a man?

In response to OP question. Lots of people, particularly women did try to do something about the situation. But throughout the charitable sector as elsewhere the trans agenda of being able to identify as the opposite sex has taken hold. And in Scotland may women's groups were basically told they would not get funding if they weren't trans inclusive. Many, many threads about this on FWR.

As to lack of support services for men who have been raped, it is true there aren't that many services, but as this has been pointed out for years it isn't clear why more hasn't been done to provide services.

And without wanting to make it a competition, in fact 1 session a week is more than many women are getting where either you are on a waiting list to receive support in anything up to 18 months or find that the waiting list is closed.

None of which is right of course.

And anyone could start a thread or AIBU about this lack of provision.
https://safeline.org.uk/services/national-male-helpline/

Just everyonce in a while it would be nice if women really could genuinely feel that have rights that should be respected and not feel that they should put themselves second.

Their website says they've supported trans rights and have integrated this as part of their service since 2008, which is some 13 or so years before Wadwha was appointed.

I haven't said a single thing in their defense. I've said using hateful terminology detracts from otherwise valid points. I don't agree that only women are capable of managing a rape support service, because women are not unique in suffering rape or sexual assault. But if that was the criteria set then it shouldn't have been moved from.

My username doesn't imply that I'm a man at all. It refers to a funny scene from a sitcom.

I'm a rape survivor, and in no way was I able to campaign or fight for anything immediately after the event. I was able to access all the help I needed. I find telling the mother of a male rape survivor that he ought to be campaigning for services he needs frankly fucking disgusting.

I’m sorry your son went through that, but it’s not what this thread is about. This is nothing to do with male victims, it’s about a man who runs this particular rape crisis and the other men he employed.

So what are you doing about it?

Making an issue thet directly affects women is helping your son is it?