My 7 year old has recently got quite friendly with another child in their class. The other child asked her Mum if they could have mine for a play date (at their house) and she didn’t seem overly thrilled but said yes and I’m yet to arrange this with the parent.
How do you know she didn't seem to thrilled? Were you actually there? Perhaps she's one of these people who doesn't love playdates in general and felt put on the spot if her child asked in front of you. It might not be personal.
this Mum was talking about her recent house move and saying it was because ‘She paid a lot of money for her previous home on a new estate and in the end was placed near social (council house) tenants’ and she went on to say how much she hates council house people and that she didn’t deserve to live near them so they moved.
Did she actually say that though? Did she say she 'hates council house people'? Did she say she didn't 'deserve' to live near them? If she did, then I am amazed you'd consider letting your child play at her house at all. She sounds awful. But what I suspect she said was not quite as outrageously snobby as you've made it sound. She probably said something like 'I didn't pay a huge premium for brand new, privately owned house only to feel like I may as well be on a council estate.' And frankly that's how lots of people feel. Frankly, I'd not want it to be cheek by jowl with the social housing section of a new estate either. The houses are more cheaply finished, on smaller plots, with smaller parking spaces, usually always terraced, so it feels more hemmed in. Parking issues will spill over into my bit of the road. And let's be honest, problem families tend to end up in social housing because they always get kicked out of private rentals. It's a fact of life I'm afraid. Acknowledging that doesn't mean that I 'hate council house people'.
By the way, she wouldn't have been randomly 'placed' next to them. She'd have selected her plot to purchase and the price of the house would have reflected its position on the development. The more expensive plots would be further away from the social housing section, which tells you all you need to know there. So if she was really close to them, then she probably bought the only plot left or didn't didn't do her research on the development properly.
If she's already sold the house and moved then I assume she had some issues with some of the residents on the estate. If everything was peachy I'm sure she'd still be there. No-one moves house just because they suddenly find out there is a social housing section on their estate. For a start, all medium and large scale developments have to agree to incorporate a proportion of SH as part of their planning conditions and it's been that way for a long time now, so what you say makes no sense.
I grew up from a council house background and found the comment quite off hand as I think it’s pretty small minded to judge someone on their possessions and financial status.
I agree. It would be very small minded indeed. I don't think many people actually do that, though. If people judge their neighbours negatively at all, then it's usually on their behaviour, their children's behaviour, their manners, their noise levels, their cleanliness and tidiness and their sometimes dubious lifestyle choices. Not on whether or not they own their house, or what they earn.
Anyways, I will have to stay with my child at the play date at their home and I know in turn I will be expected have them back at mine.
Why will you have to stay? Your child is seven, not two. Most people see a playdate at their house as a chance to have some peace for a few hours while their child is happily occupied, not an obligation to entertain another child's parent.
My home isn’t fancy, it’s functional and cozy. I’m happy with it. I’m just worried she will judge us based on what we have.
If you went into her home and it was huge and grand and expensive, would you judge her or make assumptions about what kind of person she is, based on what she has?
I would rather not have her in my home at all with her attitude.
I wonder if this 'attitude' is largely a figment of your imagination and she might be a perfectly nice woman, but either way you don't need to be her friend. Your daughters like one another's company and that's all that matters here. But if you have serious reservations about the woman then just don't get back to her on arranging the playdate. If she's the awful snob you think she is, then she's unlikely to chase you for an answer anyway. She'll probably be praying you never mention it.