Children wearing tails?

It's disgusting weirdo porn. Its like letting children dress in maid outfits with stockings and suspenders and anyone ok with it is either ignorant or dodgy af.

Yes, DD does know about internet safety, her primary school were really hot on it and she’s aware that not everyone is who they say they are.

as far as the “online community” I mentioned, that’s purely a Gorilla Tag friend group, and she only interacts with them where we can see/hear her, so there’s nothing untoward there, I think the oldest kid is 16

I’d just like to clarify that she doesn’t dress up as a cat, or meow at people, or walk on all fours. She wears a fox tail, ears and sometimes paws

We’ve had a good chat about it all this weekend and we’re both on the same page in terms of her Furry/Therian interests and I’m happy that she’s safe, having fun and just being a kid

I also think some of you have underestimated the effects that missing a year of school during covid has had on these kids, she may be 12, but she’s not a “normal” (for want of a better word) 12 year old. And that’s ok, she has parents that adore her, good friends and she’s doing well at school

I know its hard to talk about adult stuff with children because you can be the one that ends up introducing them to dodgy concepts and that's the last thing you want. But surely you have talked to her about online safety, and the fact that there are people out there that are not who they say and who want to do harm? You use the same techniques to talk about the fact that not everyone in the furry "community" is safe and in it for the same reasons (innocent fun) as her. If you have strict parental controls that's great, but it was a bit worrying that you yourself referred to her participating in the online aspect of this as being in a community. And that you saw it as harmless fun.

Yes. Get kids away from tiktok it is rotting their brains and yes China and Russia are laughing their heads off as the west is being destabilised by this nonsense and the fools that are going along with it

Don't ban kids from imaginative play.

It's not really that imaginative tho is it? I mean how many interpretations of hamster, bat or cat can you impersonate? It's more of a fixations or a subconscious fetish. Fetish, not in a sexual sense for children (although who knows for teens), but can be compulsive, obsessive and neurotic for those kids whose life start centring around it. Of course, it's also a bit of a tiktok fad, the Chinese must be rolling on the floor laughing at the silly Westeners. I'd also love to know the proportion of white working and middle class girls /boys cosplaying in this way compared with upper class, or BAME, kids, boys etc. Mostly, it seems a fad for white working or middle class girls, no?

Don't ban kids from imaginative play.

It's not really that imaginative tho is it? I mean how many interpretations of hamster, bat or cat can you impersonate? It's more of a fixations or a subconscious fetish. Fetish, not in a sexual sense for children (although who knows for teens), but can be compulsive, obsessive and neurotic for those kids whose life start centring around it. Of course, it's also a bit of a tiktok fad, the Chinese must be rolling on the floor laughing at the silly Westeners. I'd also love to know the proportion of white working and middle class girls /boys cosplaying in this way compared with upper class, or BAME, kids, boys etc. Mostly, it seems a fad for white working or middle class girls, no?

If parents are worried about sexual predators, then look at internet access. Don't ban kids from imaginative play.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with either pretending to be an animal (or a vampire, in the example mentioned above). Many years ago I was a teenage goth - it's just another type of dressing up and experimenting with identity.

Teenagers are going to express their identities in ways that wind adults up, or make no sense to them. It's normal, and it's been going on forever. The answer isn't to try to dictate kids can't imagine themselves in different ways.

Perhaps in general, but shop workers, teachers and healthcare workers constantly describe how they encounter grown adults acting like childish arses and having silly tantrums. I've never seen such things, but then I don't interact with others very much.

Its not about what play is age appropriate. A thirteen year old playig like an 11 year old isn't a big problem. A thirteen year old playing like an 11 year old with a load of "friends" many of whom are older than her, many of whom find this play scratches a sexual itch is decidedly unwholesome.
And the people mentioning goths/alternative fashion. Yes, there were creepy people who would try to chat up the young teens sometimes in e.g. alternative clothes markets or music venues. But we knew they were creeps and were encouraged to see them as creeps by our parents. Not cheerfully waved of "oh you are playing with your community, how lovely" which is basically what happens when parents let their kids do this stuff online.

So what should we do, ban her from wearing her tail, ears and paws (she doesn't wear them all the time), ban her from speaking to her friends at school who are also "Therians", ban her from using her oculus, ban her from YouTube?

And what should I tell her is the reason for all this? That she's getting into something that's classed as an adult kink, so she must stop liking it immediately?

I know if I try to turn her away from it all she'll double down and do it all the more, only in secret which surely would be worse

I'm genuinely asking how you all would handle this situation if it was our 12 year old

Don't just tell me to "parent her better"

I actually find the rigid attitudes on this thread about what play is age appropriate sort of disturbing.

There's a whole range of paces that preteens develop at, both socially and mentally. There's people here gloating that their kids are so very grown up at 11, 12 and 13, as if that makes their kids superior to kids who aren't quite there yet. Becoming a teenager is hard. Some 13 year olds still want to play like 11 year olds, others think they're 17. It's all within normal ranges.

Dressing up like this allows a nice comfortable middle ground between fashion and play for the kids who aren't feeling "grown up" yet. I was a kid like this, although in my local culture I dealt with it by leaning into a sort of pseudo-hippy aesthetic, all bright colours, psychedelic patterns, would carry a tarot deck around (couldn't even read tarot). For good measure I mixed this in with what I thought of as Native American fashion: feathery necklaces, howling wolf t shirts, you get the idea. There's a very real sense in which they were pretend clothes, like a costume I could put on and sort of play a character in while I adjusted to being a teenager. I outgrew the faze and emerged as a normal person who could choose clothes that I liked and talk to other teenagers normally (well, in truth via the route of becoming a "scene kid", if anyone remembers those). I had a couple of friends like me who were very into anime and who leant into the cat ear/ Japanese kawaii aesthetic. The furry thing is just this generations iteration of that.

By the way, everyone sitting around wondering where kids get therians from - they get it from the wider culture. Media aimed at kids is overwhelmingly about talking animals. Lion King, Kung Fu panda, all the side kicks to all the princesses, all the storybook characters, Pokémon, all this stuff teaches kids - for years - that animals are just people who look a bit different, and that there's something it is like to feel like these animals. Then they hit a specific age and we want them to just stop watching it, or they're "weird" and "being groomed". Don't swamp your kids with talking animals if you have very specific ideas about when they should stop liking the media you've been feeding them for the last 11 years.

I go to lots of comic cons and I've definitely noticed an increase in furries and similar things now. Kind of a shame really. Comic cons generally used to be quite a welcoming diverse place due to the demographic overall being high levels of autism and other special needs of varying levels. No one would think anyone weird for being obsessed with a tv show or wanting to dress up for fun. It was nice to be able to talk loads about superheroes without the other person thinking you're nuts! Finding "my people" was so nice. But it's definitely changing now.
I'm not entirely sure why furries overlap with comic cons really. Other than the fact people dress up. But most cosplayers at comic cons were tv/ film/comic book related only in the past. Since anime has got so big that and the furries have increased in rapid numbers. I don't go to MCM anymore as it's pretty much only anime based these days.
You can still get the old school nerdy guys at comic cons. But they're mainly in the autograph queues or panels. Those in the cosplay areas are slowly being taken over by anime and furries.

My DD12 (year8) wears a tail, ears and she has paws too (she wants a full fur-suit, but they're expensive!). She classes herself as a Furry/Therian - there's a whole community of them at school and online that she hangs out with

Yes it is a bit odd, but there's absolutely no harm in it

I've saw a man in a skirt with a Foxes style tail hanging down below the hemline.
That was a strange sight.

I feel like I don’t live on the same planet as you. I do t recognise your description at all. The adults around me behave like adults (with the odd arsehole). Certainly never seen an adult having a tantrum in the supermarket and I haven’t seen much ‘fun’ going on. Just life. Normal life.

When I was young we all wanted to appear to others to be growing up and taking responsibility for ourselves. It was a shameful thing to be seen to be acting like a toddler or engaging in fantasy (other than in a board game) once you got to double digits. You'd have had the piss ripped out of you if you went into class wearing a tail and pretending to be a cat. As a consequence, young people often got weekend jobs, paper deliveries or helped in the family business on weekends. By the time they were 18 they'd be ready for a job or university. As a parent, your role would be to raise capable and responsible adults. We still had fun growing up, did daft shit, but went through the different stages at the appropriate age and school was for learning and as a preparation for the adult world.

Now, nobody's expected to grow up, middle aged people are having tantrums in supermarkets, absolutely everything has to be 'fun' and adults are dressing in toddler type outfits and trying to hook up with children online 🤦🏻‍♀️

So what should we do, ban her from wearing her tail, ears and paws (she doesn't wear them all the time), ban her from speaking to her friends at school who are also "Therians", ban her from using her oculus, ban her from YouTube?

And what should I tell her is the reason for all this? That she's getting into something that's classed as an adult kink, so she must stop liking it immediately?

I know if I try to turn her away from it all she'll double down and do it all the more, only in secret which surely would be worse

I'm genuinely asking how you all would handle this situation if it was our 12 year old

Don't just tell me to "parent her better"