Twisting truth about work trip

If they live in for es accomodation they shed the one that has to leave

He would be very supportive? I don’t believe that.

I think you should just tell him what you said in your post, which is quite reasonable and measured but is clear that this is not great behaviour and you are hurt.

What of your hopes and wishes for a few childcare free hrs?
Assuming it never happens?

screen shot the details n set as screensaver. or just plain old tell him you know.
You are being incredibly..sweet.(?)avoidant(?) hes booked it,hes lied about it,hes going anyway-whether you approve or not.
I see nothing to argue about-thats the facts.
the worry ,is you all but feel responsible for him needing to lie. !
YOU ARE NOT.hes a big soldier boy?father of (nearly) three and hes pulled a Rat move. thats not how a unit operates. its not a "misunderstanding" intent is key.people will treat you how you let them.

@Jude628 have you ever left your children with your husband for a weekend away?

Why are women such fucking patsies? He wanted children! He actively engaged in having them! How is this somehow something that OP and the children have to make up to him for? Too fucking right he has to put up with some limitations on sky diving.

Take out a huge life insurance policy on mr. Bestest dad ever and kick him out. You could do better hiring a handyman and a boy toy for sex than trying to make this wanker into a loving husband and father.

Anyone else read "sex 'adventure' weekend" and think WHAT??

(sorry op)

I’d just tell him, tell him it’s a shitty thing for a man who works away to do to his wife who is feeling unwell with the pregnancy he wanted too, and you hope he can look in the mirror because you don’t want to look at him. And that if he keeps opting out of caring for you and being a dad you will fall out of love. Being a mum with a partner who works away is bloody hard so he can fuck off with any pity parties, you’re a mum on your own trying to cope and you will stagger through and look for the support you need from friends and family since he’s not providing it, and if this is the real him, you’ll realise one day you don’t need him.

Are you happy being a wife and mother with an absent husband and father? Unless he is super involved whenever he is around (though it doesn't sound like)
Cause if you are and he provides financially...then no point on starting a fight. Just enjoy your life and your kids.
But he is telling you clearly what his priorities are.

I'd be checking he's really on the same page as you about a 3rd baby. Might be telling you what you want to hear, rather than what you need to hear.

It makes him a lot less of a father. How many times over your kids lives do you think he will opt out because it just isn’t fun enough?

Yes this would worry me

OP you're worrying about having an open and honest conversation about needs and wants and balance and fairness.

He didn't bother doing that. He just lied to your face. Because it was an easy way to get what he wanted.

He obviously lied as he thought you'd quite rightly feel a bit abandoned. I don't really have any advice. But I feel for you. It must be hard being with someone who's job is such a big part of their identity. And obviously is dangerous and they're away for such a lot of the time.
I hope you've a good network of friends and family you can rely on and speak to.
Definitely tell him you knew he's lied and ask him why. Obviously make it clear that approach will never make things better.

And he didn't need to lie - he chose to. Because it's easier.
You are risking g a lot in having another baby with a man who doesn't want to curtail his life. You'll be the drudge at home, tied to the kids and he'll be having all the fun out there in the world, without you. That's not how marriage and family life is meant to be.

Or just stop having sex with him now you have seen the light.

I'd hit the roof! Fuck being positive about it and fuck whether he 'needs' it! No one needs a weekend away with their mates when they have an unwell wife in early pregnancy and two other small children.
He's a selfish dick and a liar. You deserve better and you should demand it. No husband if mine would be going on that trip and remaining married to me.

You're thinking about what you want to communicate and how best to do that.

Lying is hard to accept because it raises so many questions. Hopefully after you've had a chat you will both feel a bit more connected. I don't have any experience of being a military spouse but I would say that any time DW and I have had a period without the chance for together time (work / kids / caring responsibilities) there needs to be a bit of a rejig and sometimes one of us needs to give our head a wobble. It isn't because we stopped caring about the other, just we both got into a vibe of getting on woth our own bits.

100% this.

Please look in to birth control if he won't and I'm getting the vibes that he really won't.

The thing is, I don't think there's an argument to be had. He's lied. You have evidence. Discuss why this has happened. What outcome do you want, what needs to change? Tell him. listen to his perspective if he's struggling. He absolutely needs to hear yours. Marriage counselling? I'd suggest it after you've talked. Lying to disappear for a weekend is serious business. was there alcohol involved in this weekend? A mature and reasoned discussion is needed if you want to maintain the marriage rather than walk away from a liar and you're going to have to be the one that opens it as you've discovered his lie.

He is a 50% contributor to him being in the throws of "fatherhood" so if he feels that being a father has held him back from partaking in risky activities and that he resents you, the other 50% person in him becoming a father then you have much bigger issues than just a weekend away.

He is a father, an adult and he has to be a parent to these kids and not simply a DNA donor.

I would have little sympathy for someone who held such beliefs while his life partner is pregnant (again, due to his contributions there) and he's feeling hard done by???
Seriously, he needs to get a firm grip on the reality that is his married life with family.

What if something were to happen to him while he's partaking of these risky adventure filled weekends away or jumping out of a plane or white water rafting or whatever - you become a widow and his kids lose their father. Can he not take part in less risky activities instead?

Gosh I absolutely would not tolerate a lie of that magnitude. That would be very major argument in our house. A big lie like that would make me wonder what else has he or will he lie about?