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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pregnant dog

182 replies

leighks123 · 12/09/2024 07:09

AIBU? So my partner came home last night and told me he thinks the dog is pregnant (by another dog from his work that I thought was neutered) I was absolutely livid and told him I am not having a litter of puppies at home because he is at work all day and I will be the one looking after them. We had a massive row over it and I get told I'm selfish.

So the reasons I don't want to are, she's a big dog and likely to have a big litter, I have a 6 month old baby and am pregnant, I've just spent the last 3 years overcoming psychosis and getting my mental health back on track and I feel this would be a massive trigger for me.

He's saying I wouldn't have to do anything as the mum would but I just don't think that's true. Please tell me if I'm in the wrong? It's like he's done it on purpose

OP posts:
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Killingoffmyflowersonebyone · 12/09/2024 13:54

@leighks123 it's not about what breed it is.

I have had to go around, out of hours, to a clients house because their bitch ripped the puppies apart out of nowhere - it was awful.

This was an experienced breeder, who I had known for years through the vets I worked at, and she barely coped with what happened (and likewise a dog I had known for four years who was absolutely LOVELY). Bitches do not always take to their pups. Just to add - the entire call out, emergency sedation etc, disposal of puppies remains came to £3K. Can you afford that? That was on top of the £2K she had spent on scans etc. And no puppies at the end of it. A £5K loss, 8 puppies dead, a bitch PTS.

Are you 100% prepared to deal with that, if it comes to it? Because if you are not, you walk away now.

Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:52

And that is exactly my argument with him. This could completely change her as a dog and alrhough I would never leave any dog with my children without supervision it makes me even more anxious

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 12/09/2024 13:52

well you and the pregnant dog are in a shit position with this man, and you have already brought one baby into this situation / relationship.

oh well.

will you come back in say one year and let us know how life has worked out.

HateSpewingTurnip · 12/09/2024 13:50

BeachRide · 12/09/2024 13:42

I did read it. You consented to having an intact potentially dangerous dog in the house with a small child, to be pregnant again after severe PPP and to allow your partner to take the dog to work where there is another intact, potentially dangerous dog.

Show quote history

None of whats happened is ops fault so no point in blaming her for this shitshow.

MissUltraViolet · 12/09/2024 13:49

He has 'accidentally' bred a cane corso with a dogue de bordeaux? 100% on purpose.

I'd pick being single, stop having kids with this idiot.

Even if she is really lovely dog, how do you know that this pregnancy (even a phantom) won't completely change her? she could snap. You have babies around this dog. Get her spayed, do not allow this to happen.

FFS.

Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:45

@BeachRide like I have said time and time again on this post he had the dog before we got together and that was the dogs routine. I didn't have a young child when we got together,
Yes I had severe PPP which I have also said I fought and got over, that had absolutely nothing to do with having my children close together!!

OP posts:
HateSpewingTurnip · 12/09/2024 13:43

Just ring the vets and get it sorted op. Your dog sounds lovely and needs someone looking out for her health and you will absolutely not be able to cope with a litter of puppies. They are genuinely worse than babies to care for and a vet FB group im on the vets always say big breeds are prone to pregnancy complications.

Feel for you but you need to stand up to your shit of a partner for yours and the dogs sake.

CleanShirt · 12/09/2024 13:43

The hills are that way >>>>>>

BeachRide · 12/09/2024 13:42

leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:38

@BeachRide how about you read the post properly before jumping on with your opinion...no I am not breeding these dogs at all!!! I have had it pushed on me without me consent

I did read it. You consented to having an intact potentially dangerous dog in the house with a small child, to be pregnant again after severe PPP and to allow your partner to take the dog to work where there is another intact, potentially dangerous dog.

Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:38

@BeachRide how about you read the post properly before jumping on with your opinion...no I am not breeding these dogs at all!!! I have had it pushed on me without me consent

OP posts:
Potentialmadcatlady · 12/09/2024 13:38

leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:36

@Potentialmadcatlady you won't annoy me, I'm just at a complete loss and feel so guilty and sorry for her.

I’m glad because im
really not trying too. You need to put your foot down and fast. For your sake, the kids sake and the bitch/pups sake.
I know how hard it is when you have been unwell yourself but you need to advocate hard now or it will get much worse.

Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:37

It's funny you think you know someone until it turns out you really don't 😔

OP posts:
BeachRide · 12/09/2024 13:37

You have a 6 month old, are pregnant, and you're breeding these bloody dogs? FFS.

Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:36

@Potentialmadcatlady you won't annoy me, I'm just at a complete loss and feel so guilty and sorry for her.

OP posts:
HateSpewingTurnip · 12/09/2024 13:35

Awww isnt it a shame she suddenly became unwell and needed to go to the vets urgently because shes your dog too and you were worried, who then suggested spay/abort.

Potentialmadcatlady · 12/09/2024 13:35

leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:33

The dog at his work is a dogue de Bordeaux. I'm aware it makes me sound as irresponsible as him but I've never questioned the taking her to work and what other dogs are about as this has been the norm since getting together

It just gets worse and worse.
Run
Can you cope with ten large dogs in your house if he can’t sell them? Or will they all be dumped into rescue

Potentialmadcatlady · 12/09/2024 13:34

leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:30

I know what people think when they hear cane corso but she's not the typical one you would think of. She still has her ears and tail and has always been treated as a family pet not paraded for how she looks

They never are… until they are. Cane Corso are the ‘next craze’ now that xl bullies have been banned.
What breed is the male? Mixed cane corsos? Madness.
Two small children, six days a week on your own. I am experienced and there is no way o would agree to it.
Maybe I’m being harsh, I don’t mean to annoy you but this is madness when your own health isn’t/hasn’t been great ( and there’s no judgement there because I have been there) You will be getting no and I mean NO sleep for weeks

Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:33

The dog at his work is a dogue de Bordeaux. I'm aware it makes me sound as irresponsible as him but I've never questioned the taking her to work and what other dogs are about as this has been the norm since getting together

OP posts:
INeedAnotherName · 12/09/2024 13:33

She's a cane corso,

Get her emergency spayed. Only the wrong sort of people want this breed and her pups won't be cared for properly.

ClaudiaWinklepanda · 12/09/2024 13:31

Do you think your DP is trying to get head of the next dog trend and has had the dog mated with another Cane Corso? What type is the other dog at his work?

Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:30

I know what people think when they hear cane corso but she's not the typical one you would think of. She still has her ears and tail and has always been treated as a family pet not paraded for how she looks

OP posts:
Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 13:29

I have googled and like a pp has said they can have silent seasons, there has never been any signs that would ever make me question whether she has been neutered or not. If we had got her together it's something I would have had done straight away as I have with previous dogs.
I feel maybe I am to blame for just being completely oblivious to it and never asking the questions in the first place. She's a lovely family dog and I love her to bits I just can't deal with a litter. My partner works 6 days a week so would solely be me taking care of something I have experience in

OP posts:
Potentialmadcatlady · 12/09/2024 13:29

Cane corso .. excuse my language but ffs!!!!
I would be running a mile at this stage

WingsofRain · 12/09/2024 13:28

If he has allowed a Cane Corso to be mated by another breed he is even more irresponsible in this climate, the future for the puppies is bleak given that they are getting the wrong sort of people wanting to own them.
You also have the concern that unless the father is something very fluffy they might fit into the “of the type” category when they are older.

Quite apart from those considerations brachycephalic dogs have a lot more difficulty giving birth and caring for their puppies, and a CC is going to be at huge risk of lying on pups and squashing them, so you will need a truly huge whelping box and constant 24 hour vigilance.

In your position, if I was stopped from taking the poor girl to the vet for an Alizin jab I’d be walking out.

Catza · 12/09/2024 13:06

leighks123 · 12/09/2024 12:59

To answer some questions I have honestly never noticed her in a season at all obviously I would have questioned it if I had.
She's a cane corso, so a big breed with a big litter.
I've been an absolute mess about it all day cause he will not let me contact the vet so proves even more it was planned, so my options are have a litter of puppies at home and make myself mentally ill or become a single mum to very young children 😔

Single mum would be my personal preference. It's not just the puppies, it's his general attitude and, possibly, doing this on purpose that I would find problematic to deal with.
I find it hard to believe a rescued dog wouldn't be neutered and even harder to believe that she could go through a season without you ever noticing. Which means he is either clueless or he is deliberately trying to cause you distress.