For not wanting to attend a friend's destination wedding?

I really like the sound of wedding destination olympics.

Prickly pear!!

When we got married we got married in DH church (because its nicer) but had my priest as DH priest was judgmental that we had two kids out of wedlock. He didnt object to my priest because he "didnt want to marry us anyway"

Yawn!! Not all of us are practicing Christians and why should we have to stick with the same old stuff?

Preachy posts are naff

It's a really simple one.

How much do you want to celebrate your friends wedding?

Versus

How much will it cost to attend?

If the later is greater than the former then don't go

No, people have to expect a lot of guests won’t come if they choose to get married abroad.

That is exactly what me and my husband were like. Our parents had passed, we both living in several countries growing up and did not live in close to any relatives. So why not.

it was on the beach too - to give it that extra pirate twist 😀

I got married from my home town. It meant that most people did have to travel, because our families are scattered.

Actually, the tradition (and wedding is tradition) is that you marry out of a bride's location, out of a bride's church, where she was christened. This rootless new mode of destination weddings is naff, tbh. It is like one has no home, no ties, no heritage - really like pirates getting hitched with no fixed abode.

This.

You put it much better than me, succinctly spot on.

This thread is full of the joys of spring.

someone has invited you to a wedding either accept or decline.

there needs to be no judgement of people who have destination weddings as there needs to be no judgement of people who decline invites.

and everyone can remain friends.

if I am invited to a wedding it is normally someone I am close too so I wouldn’t see attending their wedding as a waste of my holidays rather an opportunity to celebrate with friends and family. Equally if I was unable to go I would send warm wishes a small gift and wish them all the best.

Exactly. Your wedding does not mean as much to anyone else but people seem to think that everyone should be as excited as hell about it when, in fact, an awful lot of people see it as a duty and yet another chuffing thing they have to do.

I love looking at old wedding photos from a time when people had some dignity and a sense of low key. The best weddings I have been to have had a 'less is more' vibe.

Emily really is displeased!

Sounds like you'll be perfectly capable of declining.

YANBU. When someone picks a destination wedding they must realise some people won't be able to attend.

Both my children are getting married next year. One has decided against a destination or weekday wedding because she wants lots of people there and it's not fair to inflict the cost of that on them.

The other child IS having a weekday and destination wedding but with only 10 guests all of whom are close enough to the bride and groom to be happy to make the wedding part of an annual holiday. They've also had enough notice to plan dates and finances well in advance.

Absolutely spot on and not just being very rich. Very rich people often have demanding jobs - to expect somebody to take time off and jet off (even if you have surplus cash) and spend time on YOUR wedding if your holiday is only a week or two at best?

Head of litigation I knew once said - I would gladly accept a 50% pay cut for more free time (holidays). I can't imagine he would be thrilled about spending his holiday time allowance on somebody else's wedding.

Same goes for self-employed - whatever holiday/free time I have - I would rather spend it on my family, rather than jetting off to somebody else's wedding.

UK weddings are OK though - a day at best and I would happily indulge the couple by attending and brining a present and enjoying it.

You said it, I was thinking it.

@Herewegoagain5 that's horrendous. So brass necked going to your wedding!

Yes I find "not in my budget" to be a useful phrase in many circumstances. I have used it when a tradesman has gone way beyond what I am asking for in a quote and also at antiques fairs when Imo something has been way overpriced.

You are unnecessarily snippy. With that attitude no one cares if you go or not.

She lives in a different country but yes just blanks me at family events, shes also 10 years older than me so i feel like shes just really immature at this stage. I have reached out on 3/4 occasions but each time its ignored so i have given up at this point. Even her own husband told her shes being ridiculous. She came to my wedding a year later and didn't even congratulate or speak to me.

I'm amazed op has any friends 🤣

Just. WOW. That is horrendous. Have you ever called her out on it? Are you completely NC or does she just blank you at family events?

I missed a sisters wedding at home in Ireland for the same reason, 3 weeks post c-section but my due date had been the day of her wedding so I was never going to be there and I'm still gutted about it. She was chatting to me about it recently in a "remember X's silly dancing" sort of way and I had to remind her that I hadn't been there. She'd completely forgotten.

Anyone else get the impression that OP only heard the term "Olympics" to refer to comparing things yesterday, and is desperate to use it in as many posts as they can?

It's not the "colloquial term" Olympics, OP - you can give it a rest!

My sister had a destination wedding 9 years ago, said she would understand if people couldn't go. it was in a really hot country (40 degrees day of wedding) I had a baby 3 weeks before the wedding, I for obvious reasons couldn't go but she hasnt spoken to me since.