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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not wanting to attend a friend's destination wedding?

235 replies

emilydispleased · 11/09/2024 22:17

My close friend is having a destination wedding, and while I'm happy for them, I really don't want to attend due to cost and time commitment. AIBU for not wanting to go?

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 11/09/2024 22:24

Could be worse. I'm trying to decide whether to commit to a sibling destination wedding somewhere we don't really have any interest in holidaying in. Flights, accommodation car hire and food is going to cost about £5k for 4 of us which is our holiday budget for 2 weeks but won't come close to that duration in this location.

I would be honest sooner rather than later but perhaps be more tactful and say funds simply don't allow it.

Jojimoji · 11/09/2024 22:24

Not at all unreasonable to not want to go.
Why on earth do people expect family and friends to fork out a fortune and rearrange their lives to attend these far flung beach weddings??
So self absorbed.

Reugny · 11/09/2024 22:23

Nope.

Not your fault that going to her destination wedding will use any money you have spare and want to use for something more important for your own life, plus loads of your annual leave.

Just decline and if challenged say you can't afford it/can't get the time off.

Upwiththelark76 · 11/09/2024 22:23

Nope you are not BU! I am not a destination wedding attendee either.

Dweetfidilove · 11/09/2024 22:22

YANBU and should feel confident in saying no.

mitogoshi · 11/09/2024 22:21

@eddiemairswife

Unless one party is from that country

eddiemairswife · 11/09/2024 22:21

i THINK IT'S SELFISH TO HAVE A 'DESTINATION WEDDING. SAVE THE DESTINATION FOR THE HONEYMOON. SORRY SBOUT THE CAPITALS.

AtYourOwnRisk · 11/09/2024 22:20

No. People holding weddings where the majority of guests will have to travel overseas understand when people can’t attend.

Yolo12345 · 11/09/2024 22:19

Life is too short. Just politely decline and ask if you can give her a gift. Prepare yourself that she will be hurt but stay true to yourself x

Seas164 · 11/09/2024 22:19

No

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