To report domestic abuse

How did the social services call go OP?

Good for you OP. Those children deserve someone to protect them. And of course hopefully the mother can be supported as well.

I hope the call to SS goes well.

Well done op,if she's confided in others it could be anyone reporting it or even one of the kids saying something at nursery.
I reported a case of neglect and nothing untoward came back my way I didn't give my name just incase.

Domestic abuse is considered child abuae if it takes place in front of kids, which it may well do. Report to SS or the nursery who will report it.

Yes you can ask to stay anonymous, however this does make it harder for social workers to filter out what is genuine and what is a malicious complaint. If you give your name when you call but ask for it to be kept anonymous from the family this will help a bit.

All NSPCC will do is pass your referral onto social services. Best to cut out the middle man and refer it straight in. Your concerns go straight to the professionals that can actually help sooner.

With children at home it is a safe guarding issue and should be reported op. If it is just adults involved you are not obliged to report it.

That's a bit different to a new mum at nursery confiding that her husband is abusive.

If she's been refusing help for months, and telling everyone stories of abuse involving the children, then you need to be informing the nursery or SS straight away.

I still wouldn't call the police, unless you think there's immediate danger, if the police go over and the kids are in bed and she denies then it will give them the opportunity to talk to the kids and get them to lie.

The nursery will report under safeguarding procedures and also add any information they have, and SS can talk to the kids, look at the history and make decisions from there.

Always do what you feel is right. Especially where children are involved- don’t hesitate. Safeguarding children is paramount.

Mine was a unique and awful situation and thankfully my children were not there .

This lady is fortunate to have someone caring for her and the children’s welfare.

I've posted before on these types of situations.growing up in a DV household leaves it's mark on children.
With CBT I'm reconciling with what I saw,had done to me and heard this is now nearly 50 years later.
Those children will need help and protection.

Sadly OP this is what can happen.

She will either take your support or she will stay til she gets reported by multiple people that’s if she hasn’t already which will build up and if social services intervene and she chooses to stay with him, she will lose her children by the fact she is knowingly choosing this life for them.

Try and speak to her and a good idea about a previous posted had about calling women’s aid together. She needs a plan to leave safely

I was in an abusive relationship. If the police turned up out of the blue I wouldn’t have said anything out of fear. It would’ve been so much worse if they just left him there with me after me speaking up

When the police were actually called (by my mum, and I knew they were coming) , I said the bare minimum as he was nearby and I was worried he could possibly hear me.

Social workers visited and they were actually very kind. I opened up to them as I felt safe.

You shouldn’t be torn. There are children involved, let the professionals make the judgement calls on how best to protect them not you. You should have gone to the police yesterday .

This 💯 percent. Then her partner will cotton on and it will intensify.

Due to the situation and especially as she has kids, she really would be helped by Women’s aid and Refuge very quickly.

The process is you call them explain what’s happening and then they would look for refuge in or surrounding area. They would come collect them.

If no spaces nearby it will be further away.
She will be able to choose which area to bid on a property with the council. As she is fleeing domestic abuse she will be at the top for bidding and have more choices than she thinks.

The council/schools now also have it in place to take children on at new schools fleeing domestic abuse, without them having to wait months like what often would happen in the past. This came into place in the UK I believe two years ago.

She will have help at a refugee with starting up benefits and what to do next.

Within 6 months ( 3 to 6 months is the average stay at a refuge ) of leaving tomorrow she would most likely be out of a refuge in a new home and children at a new school. New life this is her way out. If someone like you OP doesn’t help her now she could risk loosing her kids down the line if it shows she has repeatedly been reported or seen by social services etc and chosen to stay.

Sorry crouching tiger I realised my reply was almost identical to yours.

If the police turned up out of the blue,she may go down the road of no nothing is happening here and in turn behind closed doors she could be in real danger.
The getting to know her and offering numbers of agencies that can help I think would be more helpful.

Agree with this.
My situation was taken out of my hands. I was beyond distraught and livid no one had even spoken to me or knew the full story .
Please give her some autonomy.

speak to the safeguarding lead but if the child is growing up in a home with a physically abusive dad, I think you must report. It's basic safeguarding. Bit shocked you even ask. Do you not get training?