Dd screams for hours if she doesn't get her own way

You need clearer boundries from the off, for example - any you need to firm rules that she can see and understand

Draw a triangle and anything about the middle such as something dangerous, running away, hitting etc is above the line - and work your way down the bottom being good behaviour and rewards

Then YOU need to stick to it.

Anything you know will result in a meltdown - like wanting more cheese - you need to be clear front he start - yes you can have some cheese but mommy and daddy need to share what’s left, so please don’t ask for more. Or if you eat nicely we can have ice cream after

Bed time, we are getting into bed, if you lie nicely I will read 3 stores and you can choose. If you get out of bed there are no stories

Or you say here’s a list - fo you need a drink a wee a xxxx and she says no, then say ok we’re are all ready to sleep.

Be clear be consistent and hang firm for a week and you’ll crack iit.

I feel like the examples you’ve given are quite easy to change a bit so she feels like she has some control.
The cheese thing, grate some cheese onto a plate(let her grate it herslef) and then she can pop it on herself as she chooses but once it’s gone that’s it, if she doesn’t want to eat the rest of her meal that’s fine, simply clear it away when everyone is finished. Don’t make food a battleground, it isn’t worth it.

At bedtime a small bottle or cup of water by her bed and something plain and boring to eat. Let her choose a small quiet toy or two to keep in bed, i don’t think that should be an issue, she will play with it for a while and then fall asleep. The phone I just wouldn’t let a 6 year old have one at all even without a sim, that is something I would remove.

Take a snack on the school run for if she’s hungry. Maybe make sweets from the shop a treat on the last day of half term or whatever and keep reminding her of that when she asks.

Oh send her to me please lol. I live in the middle of nowhere and wont be held to ransom. She can scream and scream and scream all day long here. Her voice will run out long before she gets her own way

Ha ha yeh I don’t need to think about it. I’ve got 4 adult children, none of who have screamed to get their own way .. ever! It’s bratty behaviour that needs nipping in the bud now. Kids can get angry and display emotions without screaming and screaming. It’s not normal behaviour.

I think that she needs to understand that there are feelings and that’s ok but that there are also appropriate feelings.

So, being annoyed because she can’t have more cheese on her spag bol is not a ‘big’ feeling. It’s a frustration and I would name it as that, and say that when we’re frustrated at something it’s not ok to scream about it. That’s not an appropriate way of expressing the feeling.

Allowing kids to feel everything as ‘big feelings’ and telling them they are such and can express them is, sorry, a load of crap.

I also think she is old enough for you to sit down and have a talk with her about how inappropriately she’s behaving and set some ground rules.

• If she screams, the answer will always be no.
• She is not allowed to come downstairs after she has gone to bed. She will have a glass of water with her and a story etc but then she has stay in bed. No exceptions.

Also, why is she allowed a phone? That needs to stop straight away.

Also, never make food into a battle if you can help it.

Maybe channel Miss Trunchball and present her with a block of cheese on her plate for tomorrow's dinner?

Was she eating any of the pasta?

@Baffled78 Strange irony in you preaching about peoples inner Nazis whilst speaking the way you have on this thread.

Your situation is likely to have been completely different. You clearly have unresolved issues and it’s unfair to project this on to the OP who has come on here asking for advice not for hostile remarks. Im
also a bit concerned that you don’t understand neuroscience or have misinterpreted it massively if you think a 6 year old can’t manipulate. My own experiences and training suggests clearly that they can!

You can get amazon kindle accounts for children that let you time how long they can have them for each day- really helpful in reducing the constant dopamine hit they get dependant on with non stop apps and useful in boundary setting as you can block access for a day or make it contingent on reasonable balehavour if that's your thing.

If she’s eating dinner at 5 and going to bed at 7 why would she need supper?

@Vavazoom Sounds so similar, we’ve been investigating Pans/pandas

I have two children bought up the same. NT child was very compliant. Other child only recently diagnosed with ASD very set on things and immovable both as a young child and teen. We utilised strategies regularly used for youngsters with autism and as a result things were more manageable aged 7 onwards

I agree with this. Strong boundaries are good, regardless of whether ND or NT but I was advised by a child therapist when my daughter was still going through this at 8 years old to stay with her through the big emotions. It can be very scary for her when you leave (which was all I wanted to do as the noise was awful and draining). Sometimes its the child that behaves the worst and pushes you away the most that needs you the most. But at the same time don't give in, help her to regulate herself by knowing that your boundaries will remain even though you still love her and are there for her. Its hard when you have another child but it will get easier. Good luck.

Not all all. I do wish you well. I know how things can trigger a person and a child. I do hope you are ok but I will not respond to you a ymore as I do not want to derail OP's thread. Be gentle with your self and best wishes for a better day.

Do you take a phone to bed, her older sister? You need to ban screens from bedrooms, if not completely restrict use at home. If it is an option for none of you it ceases to be a bargaining tool. Does she like sharing her room(or does her sister)?