I can't help her, can I?

They require far more than that? Did you go through the process recently?

I had to go through the whole process too. I don't understand why they ever needed your letter neither for visa nor for ILR. The Home Office requirements are their marriage certificate and proof of his income.

Yeah I’d do this. You’re not lying by saying this. Just say that you have no contact at all with your ex so have no idea who stays when at his place.

Let xDP write what he wants to write, but you would be better off not being involved. She's quite cheeky asking you, knowing that you'd not be telling the truth, potentially causing problems for yourself.

Could you be really vague/factual and just say "DD is the daughter of Mr ExCheatingBastard, who is married to Mrs LatestCheatingVictim. DD stays with her father at Address X days per week. Due to the nature of my relationship with my ex-husband, I cannot verify who is present during her visits."

I wouldn't be lying directly in my responses, no matter how much I liked her.

I think you have to tell the truth tbh

I would just agree not to speak to them at all and say nothing/ignore if they contact you about her application.

If they are going to get divorced once it has been granted then nobody can be sure that they would not catch the attention of someone and it starts getting looked into further. Then you'd be dragged into a world of stress and trouble...for a problem your ex created.

It's sad, but not for you to fix.

Nope.
say to her that you respect her and like her, but she is at risk home office will discover that she is no longer living with spouse, and that she is no longer care giver for your DD and that DD and hers relationship has fizzled out. You cannot therefore lie in document to home office. You are not being asked by home office to support her application, it was a nice to have previously. There is no need for it and no need for you to lie.

or just say no- I can’t do that. It is a complete sentence.

Also being deported back to Canada doesn’t sound too terrible tbh. If she was from the Democratic Republic of the Congo then okay but sometimes you have to accept that you can’t live in the country you want to.

It's not a character reference. The HO are looking for evidence of a genuine relationship - being involved with step kids can be proof of this.

I wouldn't. You'd be committing fraud. Might never be questioned, but you won't regret saying something you haven't said.
How about looking up the potential consequences of lying? Fine? Police record? And she'd be deported anyway.

This isn't your fight.

It's tricky. Had it been more recent, I would have no qualms with a little white lie. But it's been over a year. My biggest concern with lying is whether or not they managed to keep up the pretence in every other aspect the HO will look at? I would just decline involvement, if they're prepared they should be able to produce enough evidence without you.

Or, as they aren’t averse to lying, could they say that your DD no longer stays at his house? Surely a spousal visa is based on the spousal relationship?

I’m not clear why she needs an email from you. If your ex and she are pretending they are still married, why does it matter what her relationship is to your DD? Can’t he lie in the email if he wants to and say that she’s close to his daughter? I would just say that you’re not prepared to lie and that you don’t want to get involved as you know the application is fraudulent due to their relationship breaking down.

I would do it, I dont think it affects your life so much but could massively affect hers. Esp as she isnt actually the OW and has been so great with your DD for a number of years which mustve brought you a lot of comfort

It's not your mess for get involved in.

Do NOT go lying on official documents as it has the potential to land you in hot water.

You either refuse to email, or email saying that as she is no longer with your ex DP then your daughter has very little contact with her and therefore no responsibility.

I would be putting my daughter first and that would mean not breaking the law for someone who actually doesn’t see her anymore anyway. I wouldn’t get involved.

Surely she can get someone else to write on her behalf.
You don’t have that connection now.

Daily Mail says if you have a cat, you can stay in UK!

So she was the OW (but to another woman?)

Not the point of the thread I appreciate but you reap what you sow and all that.

Can this not all be done without you or your DD's involvement? I mean why did she get brought into it in the first place?

Great point! The daughter when older, will be asked and roped in potentially! Its a definite no.

My advice, Do not do it, and say to her you cant get involved as you are not a liar. YANBU.

I guess the best you could do is something like:

”DD has always liked, respected and valued ex DH’s wife [not a lie, they are still married] and in my opinion she has been a positive influence on DD and done her best to be a good step mother.”

your DD has no contact with her. There is no relationship to mention in a letter.

if you do this it is fraud