Would you always believe the child?

It depends entirely on the child. If it’s a child who is normally honest and trustworthy and is kind then I would believe them because they know not to lie and I’d imagine they would have a good reason to make a disclosure, even if the set of facts weren’t entirely black and white.

But if it was a kid who had form for lying or being manipulative to get their own way and had a vendetta against the step parent and wanted them out of the way then I wouldn’t believe them, no. I might suggest for the step parent’s sake that we live separately for a while but more to protect them than anything.

And when I say kid, I’m talking maybe early teen. At that age, there will be some that will tell really malicious lies. If we’re talking six then that’s different- I don’t think a child of that age could sustain a lie.

And if it’s malicious then telling the child you believe them doesn’t help them or you

I think that you should always begin by acting as though the disclosure was the truth. Which means removing the person who has been accused from the house. Yes, sometimes it may be the child has lied and that's awful but you cannot take the chance that the child was telling the truth and you didn't protect them.

Yes, I would always believe the child.

If it turned out it wasn't true I wouldn't regret it either. In that moment, my child would clearly need to know that I was on their side for whatever reason. If I went against my child our relationship would likely never recover.

I think there will always be a reason if it is a lie that the child has said such things which needs to be looked into deeper.

Happy children don’t tend to want to get their parent/granny / step parent arrested for abuse. So there is an issue to be resolved.

Lots of people lie, including children. The mother might “know” it’s a lie in a “Not My Nigel” sense, or she might actually know in the sense that she has witnessed the incident(s) and knows, even allowing for points of view, that the child’s version of events isn’t true - either it’s a distortion or it’s just bollocks.
For a child to make something up like that suggests that something big is going on. Happy, settled, secure kids don’t do things like that - even if they are very inventive and create huge fantasy worlds. The children at the centre of the Hampstead Hoax were being abused, just not in the way that they said. They lied, but the lie came out of abuse.

@historiccastles does she just 'stick by him' regardless, or does she look at the evidence and know there's no truth to it? *

I wouldn’t automatically believe a child but if a child is saying this about their step parent then there is a reason for it and they clearly aren’t happy about the step parent that has been forced upon them. I certainly wouldn’t dismiss it as a lie, even if I didn’t completely believe it.

First post absolutely nailed it.

I think kids/teens lying about the behavior of adults for completely selfish reasons is more common than a lot of people want to believe.

Obviously some kids are telling the truth and they shouldn't be dismissed out of hand without any consideration, but equally sometimes the adult is genuinely innocent and their life shouldn't be ruined in the name of ALWAYS believing the child.

Side with the child. Any good partner will understand why you need to do this and support that course of action. Even if the accusations is unfounded the child has enough going on they will need the full support of all their care givers because they feel the need to go down this line. 100% whatever the outcome support the child.

My first instinct would absolutely to believe a child. In most instances it has taken courage for a child to speak up to an adult about about another adult. If it was determined things weren’t quite as the child experienced them I’d still support my child and aim to understand why they are unsettled and unhappy enough to make such an accusation. Either way, my child would be my priority.

I don’t think you should automatically believe anyone, as without context and facts, you can’t possibly know what is the more likely scenario. An automatic assumption of guilt / innocence is a dangerous thing.