to wonder if secondaries are really this bad?

At our secondary they have to wear their blazers when they are moving from one classroom/place to another even if it's a million degrees.

Parents were going mad so they trialled abandoning that rule. Then one hundred and eight six unnamed blazers were left behind on the first day.

My daughter has an overactive bladder so needs the toilet often. I had to get her a toilet pass otherwise she wouldn't be allowed to go during lessons

That sounds amazing.

My eldest daughter is at an all girls' school and my son an all boys'.

Both school's are state grammar schools and both have the 3 rules mentioned in the OP. I have noticed that the rules are very strictly enforced at my son's school however my daughter's school doesn't appear to be at all strict in enforcing the rules.

My son has a "uniform card" issued each half term, any minor indiscretion leads to this card being signed by the teacher. If he is unable to produce the card it's an automatic detention. Once the card is full (@ 6 signatures) it's an automatic level 1detention. There are 4 levels of detention, break time, lunchtime, after school and for the worst offences a day in solitary. The next level is a longer period in solitary, then exclusion.

Both schools are good school's which achieve excellent results, behaviour isn't an issue at either school. Neither feel like a prison - I assumed the difference in approach was related to the schools being single sex.

My son's school does seem incredibly strict to me, thankfully my son isn't one to get in trouble however the handful of detentions he has had have all been for silly reasons - not that I let on to him that I think it's OTT.

My daughter finds it funny how strict his school is in comparison and my son is in disbelief at how lax her school is!

Some schools still don't have uniforms today - our primary school (South East) doesn't have a uniform as parents were given a vote on it and continue to opt out of uniforms.

Most schools in Europe don't have uniforms, I'm not sure why it became such a big think in the UK.

My son's school isn't but it's a tiny rural school and they don't have blazers. No idea if the toilets are locked during lesson time but ds hasn't mentioned it.

I went to two secondary schools in the late 90s/early 00s. First one had shirt and tie but no blazer. If your shirt was untucked you just got told to tuck it in. No rules about how you move around the school (but tbf it was massive, spread over many buildings so a lot of the movement was outside where there was lots of space) No locked toilets. The other school was polo shirt and jumper kind of school, very relaxed on uniform. Crowded school but still no rules about how you move around the corridor. Wasn't a great school tbh, went into special measures after I left, but I enjoyed it there and there were some teachers who were really good at getting students to behave well without giving out detentions willynilly or shouting (other teachers were not so good). Toilets were locked for a while but then they stopped locking them after complaints.

I'm glad I moved to a different country though. My daughter started at upper school this year and its nothing like British schools. No uniform or rules about what they were or hairstyles or anything like that. Rules are few and simple. Definitely no restrictions on using toilets. Only issues I've heard so far (they've been in school 5 weeks) were about the new students taking the more dangerous route to the sports hall (its another town and they have to bike there between lessons - one of the few strict rules is about which route to take as one is quite dangerous traffic-wise) and parents were just asked to talk to their children about it.

We did have an issue once when someone’s hair got caught in someone’s nose stud and almost pulled it out.

More are leaving because of the behaviour of children and parents.

Totally agree with the PP who says kids should be able to wear what they want at secondary level.

How on earth are they a health and safety issue when they do bugger all physical activity in most secondaries?

My dd manages to do triathlons with a nose ring and only takes it out when she's mountain biking.

Again, don't know why you were laughing. It's openly acknowledged by the school, the local authority, the builders and the architects, hat the corridors in my DC's school were purposely reduced in width from the original design, to save money. It was a lesson that was actually learnt and subsequent schools were built with wider corridors

Yes, they do need to let my daughter leave 5 minutes early, shame she can't always do it because means missing something key.

Laughing at the comment about saving money by having narrow corridors, as if that’s a thing. They just need to let your daughter leave lessons 5 minutes early. Wouldn’t it be a problem even without the one way system?

The lift comment was in response to my disabled daughter (so less able than other children) having to spend her days fighting against the one way system to get to the lift if getting to it required going in the "wrong" direction.

Not particularly funny. But you laugh away.

They are a health and safety issue and not smart.

My son's have finished secondary now but their school was strict. Blazers would have to be on unless permission given, orderly corridors, no free walking out to the loo. Children who were managed moved in generally did not stay as they didn't like the rules. However the results were great, kids that wanted to learn did so and those who did not wish to live within the school rules generally left either by choice or not. I get that this is not every parents ideal situation but I didn't want my children to be distracted by kids who were there to mess about.
For GCSE's the school offered in school revision that they were expected to attend, 3 chances to behave - those who didn't would revise at home. It paid off...both got grades well above average and have gone onto other 6th forms / Uni. This was a mixed state secondary.

You parents are funny honestly. Protecting your little ones from a narrow corridor 😂😂. The rules will obviously be different for anyone who needs to use the lift.

Now I wouldn’t let my kid get their nose pierced - always supposing I knew - but I honestly can’t see how a nose stud impacts their ability to learn or to study. I don’t think it’s any of the school’s business as long as the stud worn to school is discrete. You don’t own these children. You’re teaching them.

No, the OP’s examples are unusual apart from the one way system. They have to set a precedent about the PE kit so I guess if that was your fault you can just apologise to your son.

It’s not true of the school I work at. Parents need to support us more though, like not buying trainers as school shoes and letting their kid get their nose pierced on the last day of the holidays.

I get that some of them are bad but what’s wrong my with a one way system? Would you prefer there to be a crush?

Well most of them vape these days anyway but the Teachers hardly bat an eyelid at smoking given some of the behaviour they have to deal with and in some cases its known that telling certain children off for smoking isn't worth the hassle as long as its not close to buildings

My daughter’s secondary in contrasts to my sons is more like this. It’s business attire so if you’d wear it to the office it’s fine. Have your hair cut or coloured how you like, go out the front for break and lunch if you want. Canteen open for lunch, break and breakfast like a normal coffee shop style. Teachers are all first name basis even the head.

But it’s a dedicated stem school and only takes in 60 children a year.

I guess the rationale for the crazy uniform rules is that if having a hair bobble round your wrist gives you a day on isolation, you dread to think what anything bigger would get you. Not saying that I agree with this though.

Honestly I wish more schools would do this. The only downside to not having uniform is that kids from poorer backgrounds get bullied for not having the latest cool clothes etc.