DP wants to stop drinking and expects me to as well

Some posters on this thread are nuts. Nobody bats an eyelid when a woman says to her partner, "oooh please don't buy any treats. I'm on a diet!", but a bloke does it because he's realised he has an alcohol problem and suddenly he's Ike Turner

He hasn't said you can't drink, he says it would help if there was no alcohol in the house.

If you can't live without a drink, simply drink elsewhere.

My partner no longer wanted to drink I now don't drink. He's not said to me I can't but we support each other in all aspects of our lives or at least try to.

My DM was an alcoholic, growing up she tried many times to give up and I firmly believe it's because my Dad was still drinking in the house in front of her and also her friends were still her 'drinking buddies'.

She made a fresh start away from my DF and away from her drinking friends and she's been almost 12 years sober and doing the best I've ever seen her.

You don't have to give up alcohol but for a loved one, I would. He's admitted he has a problem and needs help and having seen what alcoholics can turn into, I'd help him sooner rather than later.

He's asking for your support. You can still go out with friends and have a couple of drinks, just not drinking around him and I personally think that's fair enough. Same if he was a smoker, it's bloody difficult for an addict to give things up let alone when someone is doing it right in front of them.

There's a difference between asking for support and asking to decide how someone else lives their life
As per pp, if he's serious, he'll do it, if he isn't he'll expect to control other people's actions .

The OP is asking a very reasonable question about how much support her partner needs when trying to quit alcohol. I don't think this is a fair comment. There isn't anything the OP has said that suggests they also have a problem.

He’s trying to stop now. It’s not selfish to ask for support when battling an addiction.

If you didn't you wouldn't care about not having alcohol in the house.

You wouldn't think it would be worth a thread if your husband said he didn't want kale or rice krispies in the house. And if he told you he didn't want bags or sharing crisps or cheesecake in the house because he wanted to lose weight, you'd go along with it without a second thought.

@BTsrule I'm assuming that if he is at the point where he knows he has to get help then you have been through a hard time lately. Remember that it's good to ask for support for yourself too and to talk to people about what's going on. Addiction is huge and it's easy to lose yourself when you're the partner of an addict.

I would support him for now. Until it becomes his new normal tbh OP.

For the love of God, just get rid of all the booze in the house and be glad that he wants to stop. Umpteen partners of raging alcoholic would cheerfully swap places with you.

This is really, really, REALLY hard and he needs your love and practical help. Get in his corner and support his sobriety.

If he's serious about giving up, what you do should not matter

I think that not having an addictive substance in the house with an addict is a reasonable request. You can still drink - just not at home. I appreciate it's still a sacrifice for you.

^ This. Sounds like you have a problem too.

The likelihood of him stopping if there is drink in the house or you do it in front of him is obviously significantly reduced. It will be hard enough without that tbh. I’d join him for now - you can still have a drink when out with friends and not him for example. This is a big deal and he needs support.

It would be supportive not to put temptation in his way at home.

Can't you just go out with your mates for a drink instead, would have to be more fun than drinking alone indoors

A bit of emotional support wouldn’t go amiss while he’s giving up.

If a couple of glasses of wine is more important than supporting your husband, then he might not be the only addict.

Your husband is asking for your help.

I think I would go along with this, at least for a while. Then going forward if you fancy a drink just buy a couple of the small bottles or a half bottle. Or only drink out of the house.

Nope, just have read many, many posts on here like this.
So is it ops job to shield him from alcohol everywhere then?
His management of sobriety is not ops job.

Personally I would keep the house alcohol free at least in the early stages. I'm not sure if that's what someone experienced in alcohol addiction would say to do though. There's an alcohol support section on here, ifs for anyone effected by alcohol, it's a good place for support and information. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support

I’d say don’t drink in front of him. Don’t sacrifice drinking if you don’t want to but the sacrifice would be not drinking at home. He does need your support in this.

I was married to an alcoholic and if I was you I'd proceed with caution. If you think he's serious and sincere it might be a good idea not to drink around him for a while. But keep an eye out that he isn't putting the responsibility of his sobriety onto you. Don't let him start expecting you to always be in a good mood and pick up all the slack in order to ensure his sobriety. Alcoholics struggle with being responsible for their own behaviour.

I'm with him.

He's trying to give up something he's ADDICTED to. That's not easy. Is it such a huge imposition on you?

He's not asking you to drown kittens. It's also healthier for you. By all means drink outside the house but show him some support and team effort