solo day out - unwanted company

I don't think you should sit with him on the train, because you'll either have to pretend your book/phone is fascinating, or give in and make conversation. Get into a different carriage. Might be OK on the way back when you have something to talk about. It's a bloody cheek for someone to muscle in on your day. I hope you have a fabulous time!

Has he got designs on you by any chance op? He does sound a bit forward, so I think as others say, you're going to have to be quite direct with him.

Good grief woman, there is no need for all the drama. And there is no need for all these cries of men imposing themselves on women. You really should have just said last night when he asked if you that actually you are looking forward to some alone time so you're happy to share the car but not interested in a companion. That ship has sailed now though.
Just say to him tomorrow before ye head off , "John I was caught off guard last night at dinner. I have planned my day today and am looking forward to spending some time out by myself so more than happy to share the car to the train but I'll be leaving you too it after that. If you want we can catch up at the end of the day to get the car back"
End of discussion, no need for lies or made up excuses.

When you see him in the morning say, “I’m getting the return train at x o’clock, so if you get that one back I’ll see you back at the car when the train lands. Have a good day!”

Just catch him in the morning and tell him that you felt put on the spot when it was bought up at dinner last night, you're happy to catch the taxi together, but you were actually looking forward to spending the day on your own and would prefer to go your separate ways.

He may not want to be on his own and may have assumed that you feel the same way, so if he knows you don't want to buddy up he may prefer not to go at all.

I think the idea of ditching him when you get there is quite mean when you could just have a quick conversation before hand.

I fully understand the desire for a day alone - that's something I would want as well.

But gently... you seem to be making your people-pleasing all his fault. He isn't ignoring hints or expressed preferences because you haven't given any. He specifically offered you an out when he said "if you don't mind" and you didn't take it.

I've got my own anxieties about ruffling feathers and speaking up for myself so I understand why you hesitated, but I think your anger is misplaced. We're adults, no one should be tiptoeing around us trying to constantly anticipate our wishes and wondering "well she said it was ok but maybe that was a lie and I should take her answer to mean the exact opposite thing. Oh god I shouldn't have expressed my own wishes or interests to begin with she probably thinks I'm so aggressive." That is absolutely exhausting and unproductive for everyone involved.

Take some deep breaths and summon the spine tomorrow at breakfast to just tell him. Don't make it some elaborate, fraught thing, don't come up with a bunch of justifications, don't lie. Easy and to the point. "Good morning, James. I'm happy to share a lift to the station but I was looking forward to a day exploring on my own after that, so I'll let you go your own way and see you when we arrive back in [base town]." Then when you get to the station, wish him a good day and walk off in the other direction.

Enjoy your blessed alone time.

Don't you have a voice?

You can't blame him for imposing on you if you haven't told him you want to be on your own.

I just wouldn't go, and tell someone at the place to tell the driver I'd changed my mind but to take the other guy, and let him go alone.

Spending that much time with someone I don't know in close proximity is my idea of hell. At best, people like that never stop talking and never leave you alone no matter what you say.

You're on a retreat. So retreat. Just simply tell the man over breakfast that you'll be disappearing on arrival as you prefer to retreat into yourself whilst observing art. No offence mate but that's why I came on retreat.
You're not going to the Sistine Chapel for a scream are you

"The point is he has seen no negativity. He's seen a smiling friendly woman over dinner."

@FrescoeDay

The smiling, friendly woman is allowed to change her mind.

Forget the excuses.

You tell this man when you next see him that you're happy to share the car to the station but after that he's on his own. You want to spend the day on your own. If he happens to be on the same train home then share the car back, otherwise he can make his own arrangements.

Just be very clear with him.
I'd do it over breakfast with witnesses so he can't later make you out to be nasty or unreasonable.

Morning Fred, about today.
I just want to be clear that I've got my day planned and don't want company, I'm someone who needs time alone to decompress. I'm happy yo share a taxi with you into town but then I'm going off to do my thing and I'll meet you back here at xoclock for the taxi back again. I'm sure you'll understand and respect my need for a day alone and have no problem doing your thing.

I'd make sure that the taxi driver knows that you're not spending the day together and he needs to wait for you to go back.
I'd nit give the other person any information about my plans for the day so they can't follow me & "accidentally" find me
Have a great day.

🤣
seriously just say you are fine sharing the taxi but after that you will be separating and doing your own thing.

You are not over reacting. I would be mad too!

Post sounds completely ridiculous & of course you could have said you were going on your own over dinner. Look at the language, hopping mad, cross, hacked off, resentment, rude, resentment, awkward, animosity , so much drama. I'd highly doubt anyone would want to be around this negativity on a day out anyway. 🙄

I still don't think there's any need to lie or feel awkward. It's not offensive or personal to this man that you don't want company. Just tell him politely. Don't worry about his reaction - that's outside your control and he should have realised when he came up with the idea that you might say no.

"oh sorry I have leprosy"

You are on this retreat for you... plan what you will say tomorrow.. use the retreat leader if you need to.. then enjoy every moment of the time on your own.

Good morning John, it is great we can share the car to the station, I hope you understand that this day out is part of my retreat and I am looking forward to doing it alone, in quiet contemplation, I will meet you back here at XX and I look forward to hearing how your day was.

It's absolutely fine and not at all rude to say "I am looking forward to spending the day alone tomorrow, I don't often get the chance. We can share a taxi but after that I will go off by myself and see you back at the hotel"

Please just communicate honestly rather than making up weird excuses or dropping hints that they will probably miss! All the anger will go.as soon as you do.