AIBU to insist my son does his homework on the day he gets it?

At the start of secondary I bought a wall calender. For every homework he wrote it on the due date. Me and him could then see when it was due. He crossed the homework out when he completed it. I only had to remind him a couple of times as it got close to the due date. After a couple of weeks he had sorted himself out, knew when he needed to do the homework and planned it himself. He is now at college and still uses the wall calender to remind himself, obviously I don't get involved now.

He is lucky to have escaped homework so far!

My son is smart, but he is so casual. He’d not do any homework off his own back and has never been embarrassed not handing in homework etc…so I always insist it’s done on the night we receive it.

What I do is let him decompress first… have his dinner and then do the homework ensuring there is downtime afterwards.

Every night without fail (because we get homework EVERY night 😭) he grumbles about doing it.

When I was in school all homework was to be done on the night ot weekend it was issued. Then it would be collected the next day. I guess if class wasn't for another two days then you could stall it but that would just lead to a backlog.
I'd say it's good to say, get it over with. Procrastination is something I'm very guilty of. But young kids I think to try and get them to do it while it's fresh in their mind is the best way.

He’s 10/11- he’s not going to get 4 every day. Honestly, back off. He has another 10 years potentially of education ahead of him, don’t start it off with everything being a battle with you as well. He’s growing up, let him make his own decisions. The day he forgets or is late he will face the punishment of the teacher and lesson will be learned. You just need to be his mum now, not his dictator.

Ours have tended to do it fairly soon after it was set. We looked at the timetable and when it was due to help them be able to plan. Let's just say that when they left it to pile up, there was a bit of a panic and didn't know where to start so it was a useful learning experience for them.

I was going to say not all boys as DS2 was pretty good with homework but the I remembered DS1 who was always last minute and rush. I’m a fairly “well it’s you that’s got to face your teacher so up to you” kind of person but did step in and draw the line when I caught him using size 18 font on a word document so he could meet the criteria of completing one full page 🤣

Me and DH have disagreed on this in the past. He thinks the same as you. I think that he needs to learn to manage his time - and if he gets penalised for failing to do so, then that's a natural consequence of disorganisation. They've got apps these days, so there should be no reason to have to be on their back reminding them always.

Dh and I resolved to just say no xbox until he's completed any homework due in imminently.

Don't start locking horns over this.
Suggest he sets a reminder in his phone a day before it's due in, that way if he hasn't done it by then he gets a reminder with enough time to do the work.
Reward him not getting demerits for late homework. Extra pocket money per week perhaps?

You are the parent. You make the rules.

The problem with this rule is that if one day, 4 teachers all set home work then he is going to have a very long night and the quality of the work will deteriorate as he gets tired. The next day he might be set no homework so he won't get into a regular habit of doing work. Also at secondary school he needs to learn to self manage. You coming down on him like a ton of bricks isn't teaching him anything about managing his own work load. It's a big transition to secondary school, do you really think it's in anyone's best interests to upset your son by being so overly rigid?

We have the same rule in this house. We have had this in place since the oldest two (in their 20's now) were in Grammar school.

It prevents homework's being overlooked and as the youngest says it is easier to do
It when the information is fresh in his head.

Kids who have only started Secondary school need to learn how to study and be organised. I worked with all of them to help them find a technique that suited them.

If they had an after school activity they were still able to do homework. I don't know why so many people are having a go at you. It works

How do you know that the homework in question can be done in one evening?

If he has a week to do it in and rushes at it to fulfill the house homework rules .....he might make a hash of it by rushing

You’re being ridiculous. His home work, his responsibility.

My secondary children did most of the homework at weekends.

Your child need to plan for himself.

On the other hand - my experience of boys is that they put it off to the last possible minute then rush it or forget it.

We had to crack the whip because of this - and I regret not having insisted on this right from the start, with an exception for the evening when his afterschool activity made it awkward.

I let mine choose to do it at the weekend fair they don't start the next week with h/w outstanding . Also if I am aware there are a few pieces I encourage to get one or two out of the way in the week. Works for us

Haha. Wait til he gets 4 assignments on one day. Even if they're not due for a week you're going to sit him down and make him work all night? Fucking hell 🤣

You’re being ridiculous. His home work, his responsibility.

Part of having homework is having to learn how to manage deadlines and workloads. That can be as important as the actual work itself. You need to allow him to learn these skills for himself. No good will come from nagging or pressurising him repeatedly. Just patience, kindness and advice if it begins to go awry.

Speaking from sad experience, you don't want his school work and homework issued to be forever tied up and intrinsically linked with a desperation to satisfy or appease an angry parent. I am nearly 50 now and never feel that I am ever good enough for anything. That was the lesson I learned.

I think it's sensible if he's a compliant boy and it is good practice before it mounts up and is overwhelming having to do it all on Sunday night or something!

Whether it's enforced by you if he is resistant is another matter - what consequences will you give at home if he doesn't do it the night it's set? The natural consequence at school is a detention if it's not done by the deadline so he may learn the hard way?

The problem is many teachers give supplementary information after setting the homework so sometimes it’s better to wait.
I’d just set aside a time for homework or reading later in the evening

As well as the managing his own time thing, it's better for learning to leave it a day or two and then revisit the topic - Google 'spaced learning'!

What extra freedom is he getting? Forcing him to do it on the day sounds like less freedom, not more.

I'd have thought managing his own workload is a really key skill he needs to develop for himself.