AIBU to insist my son does his homework on the day he gets it?

Mine too.

Absolutely!

Children are all different, though. Ridiculous to suggest that you will be micro managing a child during A-Level study because you support their transition in Year 7. That’s six years away; they will have gone through puberty in that time!

You need to let him manage it himself. If he fails then you can step in and help him come up with ways to make sure it gets done. If he still fails then it's time to enforce your way.

You aren't even giving him a chance - no wonder he's annoyed and uncooperative - he feels like he can't be trusted and like you have no faith in him. This is exactly the kind of low stakes opportunity for failure that children need to learn and gain confidence.

Isn’t the app for the pupils rather than the parents?

PLS, PLS, PLS do NOT relent! Let him get used to this routine! HW increases in secondary school as the yrs progress!
I have a 15 yr old DS, 6ft2, gym freak boxer that is towering over me and we have to constantly fight over H/W.

I think it’s a very good habit to get into. And disagree with the posters saying he needs to be independent now he’s started secondary school. It’s a huge transition and 11 year olds need support with the transition at the beginning to build good habits.

You are meant to learn from homework, not just get it 'out the way'
Fair enough if it a simple thing he is good and confident on
Other things need more time and thought than rushing it between dinner and bed.

It’s so strange but my DS has managed his own time and studies since YR7. He never fails to hand in a piece of homework and is doing very well. He’d hate it if I tried to get involved.

It’s called encouraging independence. Are you going to stand over them whilst they are doing A-levels? You’ll probably need to if you carry on micromanaging them until GCSEs….

The point of learning to take responsibility it to allow your son to decide when to do his homework.
You’ll soon find that departments don’t speak with each other so he might get several subjects worth on the one day. Are you going to stand over him till it’s all done?
Far better to have a discussion about the importance of planning then let him get on with it.
If he hands stuff in late then you can have a further discussion about timekeeping and deadlines.
Your method is likely to be counterproductive and lead to frustration on both sides .

I'm an insanely pushy parent. I think you're being too much. My kids are at primary and get three lots of homework a week plus they do TTRS and Duolingo in their own time on top.
Whilst tempting to try and enforce early boundaries they really need to self regulate. We discuss what homework the kids have to do, they say they will wait until Wednesday. I say "we have Cubs on Wednesday" and we pick another night for them to do it.

My ds has been having homework since he started (prep). It was just 10 minutes and gradually built up. He's in year 4 now and they have been doing 25 minutes. It has been a routine for years to do it straight after school. He doesn't know any better 😅. He also has extra activities too. I think your ds should do it on the day.

Crikey, leave the poor lad alone.

One is the most important parts of homework is learning (1) to manage time (2) to allocate the right amount of time to tasks (3) to take some responsibility (4) to work independently (5) to learn the consequences of screwing it up!

It takes years to develop those skills (for some of us forever...) but it's crucial that he's good enough at it by the time he rescued a levels, university etc. Your attitude will hold him back.

Than goodness I had parents who trusted my and didn't micromanage me at secondary school. If I forgot it was my responsibility!

In any event, it's a very inefficient way of working.

Very similar to what my kids school do, until yr 10 obviously, then it increases.
Never seems to be an issue to keep on top of.

I did this with my son in year 7 last year and it worked well for him . I don't intent to police his homework for the next 6 years but it was really important to me to instill good habits in him of not leaving it all until the last minute. My parents didn't police my homework AT ALL when I was younger and I was lazy, left it until the last minute, rushed it or just didn't bother at all and then made up elaborate excuses as why I hadn't done it. I did alright at school but really could have done so much better in school if I had good habits and wasn't so damn lazy!

It's the kind of approach perhaps to take if school flag there's an issue. All you'll achieve by enforcing these rules for no apparent reason is to rob your child of an opportunity to develop and worse than that they'll end up resenting the work. I honestly have never heard of this before ever.

Youve given him the advice

maybe chat through options eg do it the night you get it, set aside some time each night/ specific nights to do it, a break time with friends to work on it together

then hand over to him, ask which he’d prefer and monitor

I disagree that it's lazy parenting. I think lazy parenting is to put in place arbitrary rules and force children to do something for no real reason. I think it's much harder parenting to teach children independence, to allow them to make their own decisions and to, sometimes, get it wrong.

Yes because 20 assignments a week is the norm 🙄 my teens have no social life cos every waking minute (minus the nearly 7 they're in school) is doing the mountain of assignments per week.

I think you are removing the growth opportunity for him by enforcing a schedule - he needs to learn to self regulate

My DC has just started secondary school (he is in his second week and has already had several pieces of homework 😯) After school clubs have also started.

My plan is to get him used to doing things on the day they are set. We'll no doubt deviate as and when but I plan to start strong.

The school issue one homework subject on each day of the week - so Monday is always Maths, Tuesday is always Science etc - and they have also sent a planner that sets the expectation homework is done on the day it's set. In theory this leaves the weekends completely clear which is a bonus.

Of course last week as a complete pigs ear - people couldn't get into the various apps / the days the homework was due didn't align to the dates the kids were being told etc but we managed to get it all done.

Rubbish I have never heard of this kind of micro managing, I consider my self virtually Tiger mum as well.

I was always a last minute homework doer. To this day, I can't focus properly on an assignment unless I have the deadline breathing down my neck. Last time I had an assignment for a course I painted both the kids bedrooms and rearranged all the kitchen cupboards just to put it off a bit longer.
Leave him to it and he'll soon figure out if he's a do it as soon as possible person or a leave it till the last minute person. And if he doesn't do it at all then he faces the consequences from school.

I think managing his own time is importantly to learn, how he manages and when he performs his best academically, all through school and university and now going back into studying again, I’ve always worked best much closer to the deadline. Let him work out how he wants to schedule his homework, if he fucks up ans misses something now is the perfect time to learn the consequences of that.

Your principle makes some sense but simply won't work as a blanket rule throughout secondary. My DC is now in Y11 and over the secondary years there have been numerous homeworks which have been best tackled by doing 15 minutes per day for 4 days, or leaving it to the weekend to attack with a fresh brain. Some homeworks will be set where it's a project that needs several hours over multiple weeks. Even if a homework item is relatively short and can be done at any time - e.g. a sheet of maths questions - the point of the homework is to consolidate the lesson and get some practice, and sometimes that is best done a day or two after the lesson so that it uses the longer-term memory. For some learning styles, if you learn a technique at 2pm on Tuesday and then do the set half-hour practice at 5pm, you may have completely forgotten how to do it by Friday because it only used your short term memory. However if you tackle it on Wednesday, having mostly forgotten the lesson but needing to re-read the powerpoint slides/textbook/whatever to remind yourself of the technique, then your brain uses the medium and long-term memory functions and it is learned better. Language learning with vocab lists works a lot better if done in many small chunks.

Our rule is that all homeworks have to be completed by the evening of at least 3 days before they are due in, so that there is time to panic and find out what to do if they start tackling it and realise they have no idea how to do it, or need some additonal info/resources.