AIBU to insist my son does his homework on the day he gets it?

Don't panic, try and work out what your fear is (homework mounting up) and accept that is your fear, not his reality. If it does happen it's a learning experience, you can't do this for him. Your role is to support him, and insisting isn't going to get you anywhere and you'll end up at loggerheads with an uncommunicative teen, because you're not listening, before you know it.

As he is in Year 7 and has never had homework before I think it is a good idea.
Kids don't suddenly grow up in the summer holidays before starting High School.
They are back to being the small fish in a gigantic pool. Teaching style is very different from primary and there is not the same time to gently coax them into organisation.

They need help with organising themselves to begin with.

You could suggest that it is for the settling in period. Then after half term look at easing off and helping him organise his homework once he has a better idea of how much and what is required. Getting a calendar or wall chart csn be useful. Many kids will actually remember they have homework if they physically write it on to the calender and some will feel good that they have ticked it off.

Some assignments are really easy quick things at the beginning to get them use to homework.

It is good to get into a routine. It is much more difficult to help them once they have got into bad habits. Also, is good to guide him towards independence at a pace that tight for him. It is useful to chat about homework.

His after school activities may change and that needs to be taken into account.

How are you making him take responsibility for his homework if you're dictating to him when it has to be done?

He's 11, he's fully aware of how much homework he has at any point. Either he does it in time, (great), or he doesn't and he starts learning valuable consequences from the resultant stress and worry. And you'll know he's not done it presumably because of the app, so you can impose punishments based on that.

Letting him learn to manage his own time is a good lesson. Making him feel like he can't relax when there's work not done isn't.

Taking myself as an example, in secondary school I very quickly learnt that I did much better work on the weekends, because I wasn't zonked from school. I also learnt that when I had ages to do something, I'd procrastinate, and that I'd actually waste less time and focus better by waiting until I had a bit of time pressure on what needed doing. I wouldn't have learnt either of these things had I been under your house rules.

My sons school sets a lot of homework and it did take a while to get into a pattern for it. He also has 3 clubs a week that he's adamant will continue. I think the premise of doing homework as soon as it comes in sounds good, but it doesn't work practically. My son had 3 pieces set yesterday. We had a good discussion when he started secondary school about the schools homework expectations etc (detentions if it's not done) and how he was going to keep on top.
He did leave a few pieces last minute but it stressed him out. Instead we agreed that an hour after school/clubs would be dedicated to homework and I would be around to help etc. But he has to organise which pieces he does and manage it himself. That way hes learning to manage his schedule but he knows he has a time slot for homework and that helps him plan. Most of the time he gets it done before the weekend so he has that free!

I can see where you are coming from, but it might be hard to sustain. Some days they get several homeworks, or ones that take longer. And sometimes they are shattered. What about decks are always cleared at weekends…

YABU. Aside from the fact that some homework won't be something he can do in one session the day it's sent out, and some days will be lighter than others, it's essential he learns to manage his time himself.

We see so many university students who still don't have a clue. And once they miss the first deadline, then they get an extension which means they're under pressure for the second so they need an extension on that, etc etc etc etc.

Let him fail now. By all means put consequences in place for being late or missing something, but let him fuck up now while the stakes are low.

The OP is not saying ‘I want to help
and guide my YR7 who is struggling’
though is she?

She is saying she wants to insist he does it the day he gets it, she is constantly checking the homework app and monitoring when he does it. That doesn’t encourage independent thinking. It doesn’t give him a chance to do it off his own back (a good skill to develop) it doesn’t help him develop
good time management.

Now if he fails to hand HW in and suffers consequences at school then he may need guidance. If he needs help then I’m sure he’ll ask.

But this is secondary school they really should be working independently.

Longer term I think reasonable to let him select which day he is going to do it and learn how to manage his time in a way that works for him. I don’t think it unreasonable though to do it your way for the first week or so of term, letting him know this isn’t permanent, in order to get a handle on the volume and frequency of homework.

My DD struggled too after not having much homework in primary, then it was quite irregular in Y7 so difficult to get into a routine. I would give him some flexibility.

Support would be discussing homework, providing a quiet space, helping him think about how to manage it. Support is not laying down the law in a situation where there are plenty of equally good ways of approaching it

As a teacher at secondary, please try and stick to this. Can’t tell you how long it takes for students to get into good habits re homework. Maybe lay on the rewards for taking responsibility and being organised really thick so it’s more of an incentive for him?

I am procrastinating a report due tomorrow by commenting on this thread.

I don't know why posters think that if you guide and help them in year 7 you will be standing over them doing their A levels. They just know you are there to help them because they are 11 and school encouraged parental involvement to ensure they stay on task and get it done in a timely fashion. You are teaching them time management and prioritising work for when it is due in.

They have usually only had some spellings, some reading and maybe homework once a week at primary for maths or English. Secondary is a whole different matter with all the different subjects setting homework.

I suggested this to DDs but left them to deal with it. I don’t get involved unless they ask for help but do ask DD2 if she has homework? Has she done it? Sorted out school bag?

Just a reminder as she is younger.

I do not look at specific homework, monitor it, etc. Don’t have time for it

Came on to say your rules are your rules and if he isn't enjoying you enforcing those rules then maybe it's more of a defiance against the system (IE becoming more about you than the homework) sort of thing but having read a few comments I'm actually much more inclined to agree that the better strategy for him long term will be to take responsibility for this himself and face the consequences of not doing it, whatever they may be. I guess I'd be communicating things like 'just so you know we're going away on Friday till late Sunday so you won't have any time over the weekend, in case you have homework to do'. Then leaving it to it. If he starts getting detentions then maybe that will motivate him to be more organised!

I would step back and see how he manages things of his own accord, as others have said its all part of growing up.

He should get a homework timetable and diary, so you and he can see what subjects he will get homework in, on what days, and when it will be expected to be completed by. I don’t think it matters if it’s not done the day he gets it, as long as he doesn’t just let it all slide and mount up so that he ends up on Sunday with six lots of homework needing to be done by the next day.

Once he and you know what to expect, you can discuss with him how to manage it and spread the load. I'd let him have a say in how he wants to organise things.

Having seen 3 DSs through secondary with one more to go the approach we have found most effective is ‘tell me when you’re going to do X’ or ‘tell me what homework you’ve got and how you’re going to manage it’ and discuss time management options as and when busy periods come round. It’s an ongoing conversation for years but independent working is the goal. 2 DSs became completely independent within a couple of years, 1 took until 6th form. As with everything it’s all about the child but don’t build up resentment now, you’ve got a very long way to go.

Seems a bit daft to have such a rigid policy. What if he gets 4 pieces in one day, then what?

I think it's an approach to take if your DC are struggling to manage their own time. There's nothing to suggest that OP DC is struggling - so why not let him get on with it unless he is?

The school my children attended told them to start their homework the day they get it as the content is still fresh in their mind rather than a week later and a whole heap of other stuff they have moved on with. They also had a parents and child open evening at the start of year 7 about what are good resources and what are not, how many sites they should be cross referencing to confirm facts, expectation of length of homework. Also that if homework handing in became a problem then the homework club they have after school every day is open to them. It set an expectation for both children and parents of what school expected.

My children had a homework time slot, so home from school, get changed, get a snack and a drink then start homework. I was there to guide them, walk them through googling for information etc. On the days there was no homework set they had to do something to broaden anything they had covered in school so that could be a youtube video on Greek Mythology or watching science experiments. But that time slot meant no tech.

Firstly it got them into a habit of homework every day which they will build up to over the years anyway, they knew that tech/free time started at a particular time so no rushing homework to a shitty standard to get onto gaming. My children are both through school now, excelled academically but also in their attitude to learning which is what really counts when the workload gets heavier. It taught them discipline, workload management and that learning can be fun, ie VR headset exploring the Grand Canyon.

He does know he's going to get homework tomorrow, Thursday, Friday and Monday, doesn't he? Likely some with shorter deadlines than a week, too. And he's fully considered the consequences if he bumps them all, ie, ending up with a very long and boring evening and probably a front row seat in the first detentions of the year?

He hasn't. He's 11 and hasn't had to deal with the consequences of not completing homework before. You've tried to help him, but if he's that stubborn, then he's going to have to learn for himself.

They need to learn to manage their own time and studies. Yr7 is a perfectly good time to do this. You want to keep on at then until their GCSEs? Then you’ve got a 16 year old that can leave home but can’t manage their time and HW without a parent breathing down their neck.

It’s very harsh in my opinion, my son has just started secondary and like your son was issued his first lot of homework today.
He is still trying to process settling in to secondary school, I’d rather he come home and switch off and choose when he is ready to do his homework.
As long as it’s handed in on time I don’t mind then he chooses to complete it.

Advise, encourage, suggest. Ask how you can help him keep on top of his homework. Don’t make a rule.