AIBU to insist my son does his homework on the day he gets it?

Have you tried sitting down with him and agreeing how he wants to tackle it? Make it a shared problem rather than a dictat from the top?

I know I would hate to be told what to do the second I got home from school/work.

I feel a little sad that he doesn't have any after school activities, but hopefully that will come with his new school.

Absolutely spot on. Great rule. It will only hang over him otherwise.

@orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements I'm with you.
My child did 2 hours homework each night for 7 years - at a grammar school which is one of the best performing in England.
It's easy to let things slide and there may be exams at Christmas.

Stop micro managing him. He doesn't do it, he learns the consequences naturally.

As frustrating as it is I think you need to let him figure out himself when to do it. Of course you can check the night before that he has in fact done it but other than that I would stand back and just offer your help if he needs it. He may miss a few, get in trouble and it could give him a kick up the arse for next time, but he’s still young and learning to manage his time won’t happen overnight.

Also people do have different learning techniques, I have always been a last minute type of person, just can’t focus on the task unless the clock is ticking. It hasn’t done me any harm, good school marks, 1st class degree and a successful professional. I’ve never missed a deadline or failed and exam. It’s just how I work best. Like others have said I probably wouldn’t be working to the best of my ability being forced to do something on someone else’s schedule.

ATC is a fantastic organisation, I volunteer for them but they're quite clear about the rules for joining...
Being a cadet | Royal Air Force Air Cadets (mod.uk)
"To be an Air Cadet you must be 13 years old, or 12 years old if you're already in year 8 in school or in S1 for those in Scotland."
I would double-check what was said about joining after Christmas because it's not a rule that squadrons can override. It will be picked up at wing level.

I tried this. It just led to conflict and ds hiding his homework and avoiding it. Let him decide when to do it and assume good faith- whilst keeping a sharp eye out! Hopefully he will work out how to manage it.

For this situation, you are not being unreasonable. He really should not be leaving things to the last minute on his first day of school. Tbh in Year 7, not much will be given anyway but it is defo good practice for later on.

However, if he does get long or multiple assignments, let him have a break and space it out obviously. And if he seems genuinely tired, let him be as long as the work is in and not done too late.

You need to give him the opportunity to work out his own learning style, rather than insisting on the way you think works best. Some kids will do best doing homework straight away, some (like me) do far better doing it at the last minute. Some people learn in very visual ways, some by writing down, some with strict timetables, some with music, some in silence etc.
Anecdotally, almost everyone I work with in a project based industry used to be a night before homework doer. It clearly suited us all as teens to work to a deadline in the way it does now at work.

I think it's a sensible rule, OP. It's called parenting. I'm shocked at the number of people here who seem to have abdicated their parenting responsibilities and decided that an 11-year-old is the best judge. It's the job of parents to teach their children good habits and getting on and doing tasks quickly and efficiently.

My experience of secondary school homework is that you often get 5 pieces in one day and then none the rest of the week. And that it's rare to have to hand it in next day, so learning how to spread it out across the week is a key skill.

Insisting it's done the day it's set just isn't necessarily practical.

Support would be making him understand what homework he has, when it is due and how long he thinks it might take. Then he needs to factor in other things he has on. He needs to understand if he can spontaneously go out to a friend's house one night, or whether he can't because he has homework that he needs to finish. If ends up working for hours because he's left everything to the last minute, he will learn not to do that again. When he has longer pieces of homework as he progresses up the school, he'll have an idea how to manage them.

I think part of the benefit of homework is that it teaches time management and provides practice at independent study. Obviously you want to make sure he's doing it, especially as he's new to the concept of homework, but I think a hard-and-fast rule of making him do it on the same day when it doesn't have to be done that day removes part of the purpose of homework.

I'm with you op, especially with being a boy!!!
I wish I had enforced this when my 2 boys were at hs.

If you were posting at 4.12, you must have started pestering your son about this really soon after he came home. It would have been better to have a conversation with him before the beginning of term about setting up a routine whereby he will normally set aside a particular time each evening for homework which suits him and is adequate, say 5-6.30 or whatever fits in with your evening meal. But you will have to be prepared for flexibility if he is doing evening activities: I know you've said he's not interested in any after school clubs at the moment, but that could change overnight. You also have to bear in mind that, as he moves up the school, he really needs to plan his work for himself; he will know, for instance, when it makes sense to leave something that requires rote learning till a late stage, or when he will need to do something at a weekend because it needs a lot of research, etc.

You need to loosen up a bit.

He's been at school all day, cycled, he must be tired.

He needs to learn to manage his time without you badgering him to do it.

As long as it is done for the deadline and is of an acceptable standard, what does it matter?

If you sit there micro managing his homework by year 8 you will be driven mad. Leave him to it, yes ask him if it’s done, if he needs any help. But he needs to learn to take responsibility.

He won't get four assignments every day.

My approach with DC was to check when homework was due and suggest they do the one with the closest deadline first. Sometimes he'd be set two homeworks, one due tomorrow, one due in two weeks. Sometimes the two weeks homework could not be done in one sitting, or could not be completed until after the next lesson.
I think it's great to suggest ideas to DC about how to do things, but it's better if it's in response to something they have tried not going well - or if they ask for support.
My DC got detentions on several occasions for not handing in homework on the due date - as they had done it straightaway and left it sitting at home on the actual day they were meant to take it in.

Yup. This

My teenage son is home educated now but he did y7 and half of y8. I never badgered him - as long as it was done before the due date, that was fine. It now means he is good at managing his own time and work.

I've got another son why has just started year 7 and I will do the same with him. If he doesn't do it, he's the one who faces consequences. If he needs help and he's doing it at 10pm the night before I won't be able to help him, but the earlier he does it, the more time he has to get help. But I'm leaving him to figure that out himself because he's almost 12!

No, it's not reasonable to insist on every bit of work being completed the day it's set imo. It's too rigid. They have multiple lessons a week for most subjects. One day (or two) the teacher won't set anything, then the next time there'll be something big to get done that the teacher is fully aware could take a lot longer. There are many reasons teaching-wise that this doesn't work and parenting-wise imho it's unnecessary.

Don't pick this hill to die on, OP. He won't learn any independence like that. By all means remind him regularly for a while until you can be sure he can be trusted but I'm of the opinion that kids rise to meet being trusted more often than not. If and when he turns out to be crap at time management, help him work out a sensible schedule eg always trying to leave at least one or two days' leeway in case of unexpected changes in plan or social occasions/trips etc.

You have no reason (yet!) to think he won't get his work done in a sensible timescale, and homework will be increasing fast as he settles in. The teachers will give them plenty of guidance. Let him manage it himself unless and until he proves he can't.

I tried this I year 7 with my son and needless to say it never happened! Just let him do what he wants and when. He'll soon realise when it gets too much! My son sometimes does the sparks sciences in the car going home as its all on app.

THIS!

Very OTT. School is different now to when we were there, homework is very different. You sound controlling to me.
You literally say you want him to take more responsibility and then, checks notes, don’t allow him to do that and dictate what he has to do.

Depends on what the homework involves- lots of reading can be broken down and done over several nights. A project might be done in stages. Quick Maths problems done the night they are given. Answering questions about a poem might be done in rough one night and written up the next.
DS1 is getting proper homework now at Middle School and part if the task for him is to plan how he might do it- we discuss it with him.
We have a little homework club at home for our 3 DC- we discuss what the homework is then either DH or I supervise them and 'help'. DS2 and DD get short bits of stuff but DS1 has started getting more complex homework. None of them get homework every night.