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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to insist my son does his homework on the day he gets it?

238 replies

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 10/09/2024 16:12

DS has just started secondary school. I did make it clear to him that we will be taking homework seriously and that I will be stricter on a few things once he starts secondary school, he will be expected to take more responsibility and in return will get more freedom. I've been slowly trying to get him used to this over the last few months of primary and during the summer holidays.
His primary school didn't give out homework so it's new to him.

He's just been issued with his first piece of homework today. Once he arrived home (he cycles independently) and settled in a bit I reminded him he has homework (the school makes parents aware through an app) and told him that he needs to do it tonight. He was very resistant to this and said he has a week to do it so doesn't need to do it tonight. I said our rule for home, from me and his dad, not from the school, is to do homework on the day you get it so it doesn't mount up. Get it out of the way straight away - that's what I expect of him. He's not happy and says it's a stupid rule.

AIBU?

OP posts:
NarnianQueen · 10/09/2024 16:19

The whole idea of homework is that he learns to work independently , without an adult telling him what to do.

It's literally the entire purpose of homework.

Let him to it, if he finds himself panicking at the last minute he'll know to avoid that next time .

BeMintBee · 10/09/2024 16:19

To be honest he’s been at school all day and cycled home. He can’t have been home long before you started getting on at him about homework so I’m not surprised he’s irritated!

if you want him to take responsibility leave him to manage his own homework and then let him deal with the consequences if he doesn’t get it done. You are micro managing which to me seems the opposite of teach him to take responsibility

angellinaballerina7 · 10/09/2024 16:18

In theory, that sounds great. In practice, he needs to learn to manage his own workload. Also, sometimes the work is expected to take longer to allow for additional research etc, so keep that in mind.

Also agree, sometimes they have other activities.

PowerhouseOfTheCell · 10/09/2024 16:18

Surely it doesn't matter if it done today or even the lesson before its due, and if its of a poor standard and he has redo it or get a detention that's on him.

There's going to be a LOT bigger hills to die on than this

Howdull · 10/09/2024 16:18

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 10/09/2024 16:16

He doesn't though.
School clubs haven't started yet and his only interest is air cadets which he starts after Christmas.

Show quote history

Yeah, you sound totally inflexible.

Pick your battles. As long as it IS done, does it really really matter when he does it? Or do you just want to win the argument at all costs?

Babychewtoy · 10/09/2024 16:18

mynameiscalypso · 10/09/2024 16:16

Surely the best way for him to learn how to manage his time is to try himself and then face the consequences if he doesn't get it done in time?

I agree… I assumed that you were insisting on him doing it the night he got it because you’d had years of him not doing it on time.
You’re not even giving him one single chance to use his initiative.

nailclipper · 10/09/2024 16:17

This reply has been deleted

This was the work of a previously banned poster.

mynameiscalypso · 10/09/2024 16:16

Surely the best way for him to learn how to manage his time is to try himself and then face the consequences if he doesn't get it done in time?

nailclipper · 10/09/2024 16:16

This reply has been deleted

This was the work of a previously banned poster.

Original poster
orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 10/09/2024 16:16

Howdull · 10/09/2024 16:14

It's not a bad idea in theory but in practice a lot of kids have extra-curricular activities that they do after school so how would it work in those circumstances?

He doesn't though.
School clubs haven't started yet and his only interest is air cadets which he starts after Christmas.

OP posts:
BarbedButterfly · 10/09/2024 16:16

He needs to learn to self regulate. I never once did my homework on the day I got it. If I was tired or not in the right head space then the work would be of lesser quality.

Mrsttcno1 · 10/09/2024 16:15

Well it is a stupid rule, he’s growing up, he needs to be able to learn to manage his time himself. There’s no need to do it the night you get it, as long as it’s done before the deadline. All you forcing it to be done right now means it that he will rush it in defiance. You need to help him grow up, not try and dictate to him like he is 5.

Howdull · 10/09/2024 16:14

It's not a bad idea in theory but in practice a lot of kids have extra-curricular activities that they do after school so how would it work in those circumstances?

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