idontwannabeanythingotherthanwhativebeentrynabe ·
10/09/2024 12:42
I know this is mumsnet, but I’ve seen all kinds of oeople commenting, so I’ll try to ask here.
So, as a quick background in my very late 30’s now, never been in a relationships, don’t have kids.
As a teen and 20’s it was rough to be so different, mostly about the dating part.
Being afraid to be so different, the shame, the loneliness.
Then came all the wedding and baby announcements, everything was surrounded by these life events / peope, being left out and pretty forgotten.
After that it seemed to relax a bit and I also started to accept that this is how my life was going to go.
Long, long road to make peace with it all.
Thought that was going to be that.
But for the past six months or so, I’ve had really bad anxiety about it all again.
Is this about getting older / physical stuff around fertility maybe?
I wake up from nightmares of being totally alone (I’m an only child).
I thought with age we were supposed to become more confident, thought I was getting there, but started to feel really fragile.
Is it because there’s always going to be pressure to be ’normal’, have a conventional life, accepted that way?
I don’t know what’s happening lately.