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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For wanting to photoshop a photo of a friend

187 replies

justforthispost1 · 10/09/2024 11:58

Had a lovely holiday with some friends, I was the designated photographer so I sent all of the photos to everyone afterwards and told them to send the ones back they want uploaded to social media. All was fine however one friend sent back a picture and on closer inspection I would feel more comfortable photoshopping part of it. I don't want to upset my friend so I was thinking of just doing it without telling her but then I think if she looks at it compared to the original and she notices then she will be offended. Would it be unreasonable to just edit it without telling her?

OP posts:
Babyworriesreal · 10/09/2024 13:33

Given your updates- just do it. It's not like you are shaving 2 stone off or giving her bigger boobs. She won't notice.

Todaysbetterthanyesterday · 10/09/2024 13:32

justforthispost1 · 10/09/2024 12:14

No no not at all. There’s some noticeable hairs visible from an area that a bikini usually covers. The thing is I’m not sure if my friend noticed and she doesn’t mind or she didn’t notice. If it’s latter then I could get away with photoshopping it however if it’s the former she might be offended that I asked to edit it out.

Photo shop away … it’s embarrassing for her otherwise. The intention is thoughtful.

Crunchymum · 10/09/2024 13:30

If this is real then yes cover her minge up properly for her.

Tiredofallthis101 · 10/09/2024 13:29

I'd photoshop it and not ask. If it comes up just say - I didn't know what you'd want and didn't want to make you feel awkward about it, but happy to revert to the previous version if you prefer.

OssieShowman · 10/09/2024 13:28

Just mention what you think is wrong, and ask if she would mind

NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 10/09/2024 13:27

If it turned out I was accidentally flashing my minge hair in a photo, I’d be very grateful to the friend who blurred it out before putting it on Instagram.

NoTouch · 10/09/2024 13:25

So many posters on MN have a completely different definition of what "friend" means than me!

I don't see any issue with saying to a "friend" your pubes are showing in this one are you sure you want me to upload it 🙈😂" then suggest editing out.

I would even say that to someone who wasn't a "friend"!

Foxxo · 10/09/2024 13:25

Good lord, just ask her if she'd noticed, as you'd rather check before posting it!!

1983Louise · 10/09/2024 13:22

I don't people look that closely, I just glance at friends photos tbh

SweetcornFritter · 10/09/2024 13:22

How about just not posting that particular photo? Problem solved.

DiscoBeat · 10/09/2024 13:17

Drip drip drip 🥱

VivaDixie · 10/09/2024 13:16

mynameiscalypso · 10/09/2024 12:39

I adore the phrase 'knicker tache' and will be using it from now on. Although mine is more like a beard and sideburns too

It was the first time I had heard it too and have been using it ever since 😂

Rewis · 10/09/2024 13:15

"Friend, your pubes are visible in the pic you showed. Should I edit them out?"

Honestly, I'm struggling to see how editing then out without telling them would offend her. Editing her body to make her skinnier and whiter teeth without concent is offensive. Editing out a few pubes is not.

But since you're wondering just ask.

Barkingshoes · 10/09/2024 13:15

Edit it!!
or crop it to exclude lower 1/2 of body.

we have a friend who seems to only post photos where she looks good, and someone else bad. We hate it, she could easily crop & fix, or not post ... rest of friends assume it’s fine on purpose.

BlueGrackle · 10/09/2024 13:09

Surely if this is a friend you would have an idea if something like this would bother her. If she’s very meticulous about her appearance and waxing, hair, nails etc then yes do it. If she’s pro body hair, fairly relaxed about her appearance then leave alone.

saraclara · 10/09/2024 13:09

I'm another who'd rather not know. I'd be dwelling on the fact that I'd had them out for everyone to see the whole time.

I'd want you to get rid of them quietly and without bringing my attention to it.

misspositivepants · 10/09/2024 13:09

So did you notice the hair prior to taking the picture or did you zoom in?

Silvers11 · 10/09/2024 13:09

justforthispost1 · 10/09/2024 12:14

No no not at all. There’s some noticeable hairs visible from an area that a bikini usually covers. The thing is I’m not sure if my friend noticed and she doesn’t mind or she didn’t notice. If it’s latter then I could get away with photoshopping it however if it’s the former she might be offended that I asked to edit it out.

@justforthispost1 If you word your question to her carefully and thoughtfully, it shouldn't be a problem just pointing it out to her and asking if she would like you to edit that bit out or whether she is happy to just let it be uploaded?

Enoughwiththisshit · 10/09/2024 13:09

Blimey, just ask her!

"Gorgeous photo of you, X! P. S. There are some pubes on show - want me to photoshop them out of the picture or leave them out and proud?"

NerrSnerr · 10/09/2024 13:07

If you're close enough frkends with someone to go on holiday surely you can just send a quick message and ask them?

TashaTudor · 10/09/2024 13:04

'Hey friend, don't know if you noticed on the pic but do you want me to give you a bikini wax before uploading pic?'

Also yabu for being unable to say 'my friends pubes are on show'

TeenageSwans · 10/09/2024 13:04

Either use a different picture, or, in the phrase that regularly tops Mn polls of 'irritating phrases', use your words. Ask her. If you genuinely think she just glanced at the photo on her phone and didn't notice her bikini was exposing hair, ask her.

DisappearingGirl · 10/09/2024 13:03

honeylulu · 10/09/2024 12:51

I would feel differently to most people in this thread as I would be mortified to realise that my pubes had been visible and made it into a photo! Yes everyone grows pubic hair but it doesn't mean we want everyone to see it.

In your friend's position I would much prefer not to have it pointed out and for you to quietly edit the photo and post the tidy version! I'd rather not know.

It seems so unlikely that she'd be offended because she would prefer her pubes to remain on display for posterity.

Edited

Yeah I agree with this. Everyone is saying just ask her but some people (including me possibly!) would be really embarrassed to have it brought up. I would just quietly edit it

I can see why you are asking the question!

areallmotherslikethis · 10/09/2024 13:03

OrwellianTimes · 10/09/2024 12:56

Just message her.

“Hey Trish, your pubes are showing, want me to sort it?””

Trish will either respond:
”OMG yes please!”
or “nah pubes are natural! Down with the patriarchy!”

Job done. No drama.

Came on to say this!

jannier · 10/09/2024 13:03

I don't agree with making people look different you might as well just pick a load of models and create a better fake.
If it's knickers in her dress or boob hanging out just say I've just noticed do you want me to photo shop it,? If she's just not pretty enough leave it.