I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

Wow, how rude. Maybe the man didn’t have the money for something big and flashy. Maybe he thought she’d like it.

I think it's lovely and classy, wish it was mine. I do hope it grows on you xx

Your ring is almost identical to mine. I spent days searching for mine, I wanted something understated, and also something practical, that wouldn’t catch especially in pockets. Something I could wash up wearing. The result is I never take it off. I really love it too. I might get something a wee bit flashier for our 20th wedding anniversary in a couple of years.

The ones you’ve picked, obviously not too everyone’s taste but anyway I’d think about how often you’d have to take it off.

It’s not harsh, it’s factual. If OP had bought her DP an expensive watch that he wanted t change because it didn’t suit his wrist people would be shouting red flag, selfish bastard and other such things. Perhaps OP should have communicated better with him the type of rings she likes.

I designed my engagement and wedding ring (with DH at the appts with me!) and they bring me joy every time I look at them.

Solitaire rings would also not be my style and I would feel sad if my DH hadn't realised that.

You deserve to have something you love and that doesn't have to mean spending more - you've made it clear cost isn't the issue.

I think the styles you have shown us are lovely, but most important, they are very different to what you've been given.

I have fat fingers and wear my wedding ring below my engagement ring which is a similar style (in white gold). While you get that, could you wear a simple (but not wedding-y) band below it to make it bulkier?

Congratulations! Have you asked the store if they have catalogues from suppliers (or a modern equivalent) as sometimes they can order other rings/jewellery in, they just don't stock them all the time. Worth an ask!

Otherwise I like the idea of using the credit to pay for wedding bands.

I hope you end up with the pretty vintage ring you're picturing!

Ridiculous comment

It's a nice enough ring but very plain/simplistic - so for me it lacks some pizazz. But that's because it's not to my taste and someone else might love it because of that. It's not your style and I'd say that's OK. I like the rings you posted OP! So we probably have similar taste and in your shoes I'd be disappointed too. Although I can understand not wanting to come across as ungrateful.

My DH is clueless about jewellery, we picked out a ring together beforehand (I know some say this is unromantic but meh!). My ring was a few hundred quid off eBay. It's an antique yellow gold diamond flower ring - quite small/dainty (I have small hands) and very sparkly. I adore it. It took the stress off of him because he knows I'm particular!! 😆

I know you can't go back in time. But I think your DH would have been better to get a super cheap/costume ring (like from Claire's Accessories or similar!!) and have proposed with that and then chosen a "proper" ring together. I think that's quite a sweet compromise personally. And avoids disappointment!

Being practical - he's said if you don't like it you can change it. So the best suggestion by far is to see if you can get store credit to use for wedding rings (either yours or both) if possible, and to get another engagement ring elsewhere that you do like. It's not like you want a really expensive one instead and are being grabby. It sounds like he won't be put in a difficult financial situation as a result either which would be the other consideration for me when deciding whether to say something. I know you've told him you like it, but I think it's fine to say - actually now I have had time to think about it, it's a pretty ring but it's really not me/my style - can we look at changing it please?

That's what I'd do anyway.

They are tacky though! 😖

This is a very clever solution! Just wanted to add though : I did not like my engagement ring when I first saw it - thought it was way too big and showy* - and now it is my favourite thing I own. Is there any chance at all that it might grow on you?

** I realise this sounds like that like in friends were chandler jokes about his diamond shows being too tight, but it just wasn't my style (I thought).

Maybe it's what it says about the man and his attitude.

It shrieks 'I needed to buy an engagement ring and this fits the bill'. It's quite bland and doesn't look like he's put a lot of thought into it.

I don't like the concept of engagement rings and didn't have one, but I am so confused by people who think you ought to just be grateful even if you don't like the ring.

@Marooney I think the rings you picked are pretty.

I love vintage rings as well!

This - I far prefer any of the rings you've chosen than the one he got you,@Marooney . But that's just my taste, which seems to be similar to yours.

Very rude of you @Growlybear83 to say the rings the OP likes are tacky!

I think you've received some excellent advice. The people calling your fiance a cheapskate are horrible though!

My husband spent less on my engagement ring than yours did. I'd have been so angry if he'd spent thousands on it! The months salary rule is insane... we have a mortgage, kids and a life to live!

I have to say that I like the look of it on your hand too, it's classic and very pretty, however, you don't like it so that's all that matters! I like the idea of exchanging it for two wedding bands; brilliant suggestion btw. and then choosing an engagement ring that you love and which looks good with the band. I'm actually surprised your fiancé went out on his own and bought it without your input, so hopefully won't mind that you don't love his taste in rings. Congrats btw, I hope you find the ring that you'll love to wear forever.

I wouldn't have liked to be presented with a ring . I'm glad that I was given the choice to choose my own .

Yanbu

However I think it looks lovely.

BTW, I had a similar experience. My husband got a ring that I didn't immediately like too much (not unlike your ring but with sapphire, and ive got really chunky farmer hands). A couple of years on, I really love it and its on my hand 24.7. In the end, I decided I loved it because he picked it. But, I would say I am not overly fussy, so I understand if it's a bigger deal for you.

@Christwosheds

The average cost of an engagement ring in the UK is around £2000 according to Google, might be less where you are. I don’t understand the diamond thing though, I think it’s better to have either have an actual diamond, or if finances are tight then a vintage ring or a different stone

Yep, the ring the OP has shown us (that her partner has bought) is not a diamond. It's cubic zirconia. No way would a gold diamond ring - with a diamond that size - cost £420!

@Marooney I really like the rings you have said you like, especially the one on the top right hand side.

I know everyone has their own taste but for @Growlybear83 to say your choices are tacky, beggars belief! I would much rather have one of the ones you have chosen, than the one your fiancé has chosen.

I think just be honest and lighthearted about it. It doesn’t sound like he will be that bothered. I assume what matters to him is whether you are thrilled with the proposal and the idea of marrying him, not whether you love the ring. I really don’t think he’ll care if you choose something else together and as a pp cleverly suggested get the wedding rings as an exchange.

@Growlybear83

I'm shocked by people saying that £420 is really cheap for a ring.

It IS a low price for a man who would spend that amount on 2 meals out (as the OP claims.) Read her posts!

At 15.33 today @Marooney said

The ring was £420 😆 and he could spend that on 2 dinners out, he's very generous actually..

So he is allegedly 'very generous' - so much so that he can easily spend £420 on 2 meals out, but then spends £420 on an engagement ring. 😐

I would be offended and insulted if a man I was dating, bought me an engagement ring, and only spent the same as he would spend on 2 meals out.

Clearly £420 is fuck-all to the OP's man! What he is saying is that he is not prepared to spend any more on an engagement ring for her, than he would spend on 2 meals out!

!

He only proposed yesterday! Give the man a chance.

Your engagement ring is like mine. I too wasn’t keen on it at first either and returned it for a white gold colour. However, I just couldn’t settle and realised it was because I actually wanted the ring my husband chose. I exchanged it back! I’ve been wearing it all day, everyday for the past 16 years because it sits so nicely with my wedding band (as the setting is small), is comfortable and is practical; I don’t need to worry about wearing it washing up, or whether it would catch putting on clothes, or scratch my children or whether it goes with my outfit. I love it because my husband chose it for me too and it symbolises our love. But I do get how you feel. Maybe swapping it might make you appreciate what a good choice it is as a ring for the rest of your life? You can always wear other rings of your choice on other fingers or hands. Good luck and congratulations.

I didn’t like my engagement ring and now 10 years later I still regret not just telling him at the time. I actually don’t even wear it anymore.
Definitely exchange it for something you like, it’s your hand it’ll be living on for the rest (hopefully) of your life.