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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

663 replies

Marooney · 10/09/2024 11:56

Last night my partner proposed, which was lovely. I often like simple and classic in general but this ring just feels so small and generic, I'm sad. Also I have quite big hands and I think the ring is kind of swamped. He went to choose it after work apparently and went to the shop he knows in town. He said if I didn't like it I could change it, but I've had a look at the shop's website and honestly they don't have anything I like better. I like more vintage styles (lots on Etsy that I like), bigger stone (could be moissanite, I don't mind if it's not valuable) and this shop just has modern looking things, this is the best of the lot. Unfortunately they only do exchanges, not refunds. Not sure what to do :( I guess the AIBU is AIBU for feeling disappointed with this ring, and AIBU for seeing if he minds me using the shop credit for some future birthday and Christmas presents (it was about £360) and looking for a ring elsewhere. Any other suggestions welcome 🙏🏼

I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)
OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
leafybrew · 10/09/2024 12:24

I like it and don't get what is not to like. But then I guess I'm not that invested in jewellery/looks generally. Eeeek

Your fiance has good taste in rings. 😊

apostrophewoman · 10/09/2024 12:24

Ifailed · 10/09/2024 12:09

What did you give your partner OP?

Why would she have given him anything? He literally proposed last night -
stop being so bloody snippy. She doesn't like the ring, it doesn't make her evil!

Strangerthanfictions · 10/09/2024 12:23

DoublePeonies · 10/09/2024 12:01

Would the money cover a pair of wedding rings, then go elsewhere for an engagement ring?

This is clever!!!

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 10/09/2024 12:22

Newsenmum · 10/09/2024 12:06

I think it looks incredibly classic and pretty!

I do too! I think it'll be fine once you have a wedding ring too, I always think engagement rings look a bit lost without a wedding ring to anchor them.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 10/09/2024 12:21

It's a bog standard simple single solitaire, not much to the setting of the stone but that might be the angle of the photo. I guess it's not a diamond at £350.
Thousands of other ladies will be wearing it, or one very similar and they are probably delighted with their ring,
but you are not.

I chose a solitaire for my engagement ring - with the thought that solitaire means one, and it was my intention that he would be my one and only husband :)

accepting an exchange for a wedding ring or 2 is a brilliant suggestion from one of the other MN'ers.

I can understand your disappointment, and as this is a ring you hope to wear for the rest of your life it is important you love it !

You may have to accept he won't be able to afford to buy another engagement ring right now if the exchange is used for wedding ring/s ?

HamSad · 10/09/2024 12:21

It's lovely. Very classic - depending on the wedding ring it could be anything you wanted it to be.

Dolliesdisasterousdayout · 10/09/2024 12:20

I really love the ring. Does your dp know how you feel?

ButterAsADip · 10/09/2024 12:18

Aw. I think it looks really classy. All my friends (except me 😅) have eternity rings, rings for having a baby, ‘10 year’ rings etc - definitely just a way to get more bling. There’s lots of opportunity to add over the years. I think it’s lovely to imagine him going to the shop and choosing something for you.

Ellie1015 · 10/09/2024 12:17

I like it, but if you don't then using shop credit for presents and buying a replacement is a great idea.

If it had huge sentimental value or he spent a lot of time shopping for the perfect one it might be different. As he has already offered swap i think that your suggestion is no different, just an extra step as nothing in the store you like.

OrangeJeans · 10/09/2024 12:16

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Starlight1979 · 10/09/2024 12:15

Iamawomandontcallmeanythingelse · 10/09/2024 12:02

Your partner does a lovely thing, and you find it ok to come online and complain about him? Lovely.

This.

80smonster · 10/09/2024 12:13

DoublePeonies · 10/09/2024 12:01

Would the money cover a pair of wedding rings, then go elsewhere for an engagement ring?

Genius idea.

Janeir0 · 10/09/2024 12:13

It's lovely but if you don't like it you don't like it. Shocked that there's nothing at all in the shop suitable. Maybe it's a conversation you should have had previously as it sounds like your mind is set on something particular.

Ifailed · 10/09/2024 12:09

What did you give your partner OP?

outdamnedspots · 10/09/2024 12:08

Congratulations!

I think the ring suits you, and it's classic.

But if you don't like it, then talk to your fiancé!

Shame that the jeweller won't do refunds. Is that even legal??

Could you exchange your ring for wedding bands?

offyoujollywelltrot · 10/09/2024 12:08

I wouldn't like that ring either, it looks plain and generic.

Getonwitit · 10/09/2024 12:08

This ring will be with you for life, explain gently that although you like the ring it is too small for your hand. Take it back and use the credit note for the wedding rings.

CwmYoy · 10/09/2024 12:07

It looks really good.

BlueLimeRun · 10/09/2024 12:07

I think it looks lovely but I think it’s entirely reasonable to use thr credit for wedding rings and get one you prefer. Congratulations 😊

CookieMonster28 · 10/09/2024 12:07

You could always get a vintage different style wedding band? Don't have to have the standard plain band!

Or the idea of exchanging for a wedding band and then an engagement ring from somewhere else is a good idea!

ArcticBells · 10/09/2024 12:06

If you are really not happy with it, I think you should ask to change it - after all he's asked you to marry him so presumably he knows you pretty well and will understand! But you must do it asap.

TheSandgroper · 10/09/2024 12:06

I would be irritated to be given a ring and have to put up and shut up from the gratitude, too.

I'm also a fan of antique rings. So much nicer on the hand.

Newsenmum · 10/09/2024 12:06

I think it looks incredibly classic and pretty!

NerdWhoEatsMedlar · 10/09/2024 12:06

Can you go into a jewelers and try on a wedding ring with it?
You might prefer the final combination.

Big stones are not as easy to wear with a wedding ring.

Edited to congratulate you on your engagement 💞

Poppins21 · 10/09/2024 12:06

Iamawomandontcallmeanythingelse · 10/09/2024 12:02

Your partner does a lovely thing, and you find it ok to come online and complain about him? Lovely.

I think this is a bit harsh. It is difficult as it is something OP will be wearing for many years and if she doesn’t like it that’s not great.