I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

Was it really just £360?

On your finger it looks more like 0.5carat and I'd expected it to be around £2K - 3K!

Is it a real diamond?

I would hate a man to choose my ring.

When we got engaged (30 years ago) we decided on a budget and went looking together.

That's a good idea.

I didn’t love my engagement ring at first. It’s very modern and not at all what I’d have picked for myself. It was too small, so needed changing anyway, and, although I hadn’t said anything, he was considering getting a different style.

But after a couple of days, I asked him to reorder the same ring in a bigger size. It’s the ring he chose for me, the ring he proposed with. I don’t want a different ring. And four months on, I genuinely love it. Maybe you’ll get attached to yours too, if you keep it.

She said he went to the local jewellery store he knew of after work.

YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID OP but for what it's worth I think your ring is beautiful 💍The old saying less is more is often true. Congratulations.

I really like the ring, it’s classic and elegant. I don’t think the size is small, if it’s too big it’s obvious it’s fake or shit diamonds unless you know the wearer is well off money wise.

If you’re not happy with it though see about changing it.

This is mumsnet so you’ll be told you should be grateful if a man gets you a generic ring that cost less than a week’s wages 🙄.

I’ve got to be honest I’d have been offended if my husband had given me a £350 ring which wasn’t to my taste. Part of the whole “proposing” thing is the man (or woman) choosing something his partner will love and spending a significant (to him) amount of money on it, demonstrating he’s prepared to make financial sacrifices/save/treat his wife etc. My engagement ring is so special to me because my husband saved and spent a significant amount of his income on something he had made for me. What’s £350 in relation to his financial situation out of interest?

What about adding a vintage style enhancer ring to surround the solitaire?

I guess I'm in the minority here when I say whilst you're feelings are absolutely valid it sounds like he did the best he could and found something he thought you would really like

I'd be devastated if I'd spend time and hard earned money on something for my partner only for him to go online and tell strangers he didn't like it

I read your post before looking at the ring & was pleasantly surprised! I think it looks beautiful on you. But it’s what you think that matters. I think the first thing you should do is go and try on some blingy wedding rings and see if you like that better. A nice 7 stone eternity ring would look beautiful and classic. Or perhaps one with milgrain to give you that vintage feel you like. If that doesn’t work then the PPs suggestion of using store credit towards wedding rings sounds like an excellent suggestion.

@Marooney I have big hands too and am self conscious about them.

It is a pretty ring but to be honest it doesn't matter what anyone on here thinks. You are wearing it every day and you need to love it.
I think the suggestion of using the money for wedding bands and making the ring a collaborative choice is a good idea.

Right now it sort of puts a cloud over what should be a happy moment-you need to decide if you will grow to love it paired with wedding band or if you will always feel a flicker of disappointment when you look at it or someone comments on it.

If you are going to change it do it now and move on-don't let it linger.
I think I would rather be honest up front and change it out rather than leave it to be a little niggle.
My DH would hate it if I kept it when I didn't love it-very important to be able to sort things out together.

Good luck!

I think exchanging this ring for a pair of wedding bands is a great idea. I know PP have said that already

You should have an engagement ring that will make you happy. It is worth making sure you understand your fiance’s financial situation and his values, however

Congratulations!

It is giving Elizabeth Duke at Argos vibes. Just be honest and get another one, you're the one that has to wear it.

Congratulations on your engagement!

Fantastic idea. I'd do this!
He's already said it's OK to change it, and this way it turns in to something still wedding related and precious for both of you.

@Iamawomandontcallmeanythingelse Have you never been bought something you don't like? You must be lucky if you haven't. She's acknowledged he's done a lovely thing and is not complaining about him.
It's also ok not to like what he's chosen and given she has to look at it every day, not unreasonable to debate how to tackle the problem and ask for advice. It's a little different to being bought a jumper you don't like and is very easy just not to wear.
Your post is harsh.

That's rude! She wants to like the ring, she simply doesn't. It's not something we can choose.

I like it but if it’s not your style then that’s okay! How does he feel about you swapping it?

I think it would be a good idea to go to the shop together and see if there’s anything more suited to you. Also try on wedding rings, my engagement ring looks different with the wedding band next to it.
If there’s nothing there then I’d go with others suggestions of putting the money towards wedding bands.

Congrats on your engagement. I personally think it’s important you have a ring you like, you are wearing it after all. I wouldn’t wear one I hadn’t had a part in choosing, and these days I doubt many people would. Could you get both weddings rings from the shop in exchange, and get an engagement ring from somewhere else?

Tricky. But I think it would be hurtful to make a big deal of it. I like the idea of swapping it for two wedding rings. Alternatively, prod him to buy you a ring you’ve obviously admired, for a birthday or Christmas, and over time gradually swap which one you wear on which finger.

Yanbu OP. My ex proposed with a ring very like that, only on white gold. I felt as if he had put very little thought into it. I did grow to like it, but I don't think you are being unreasonable to feel as you do.

When my husband proposed he took one of my costume jewellery rings to get the size right.

I loved the fact he chose an engagement ring for me. But maybe I am only delighted because I liked it - would have been awful if I didn’t I guess.

Oh bless. Its a lot like mine but yours has a bigger diamond. I adore mine as it was bought as a poor student for £100 in the 1990's using his savings. Think it suits your hand. Have you told him?

I don't know when the fashion for men choosing engagement rings started, but when we got engaged many years ago, my husband proposed, then we went to the jewellers and chose a ring together. How do they know the ring size anyway?

Your ring is beautiful OP, but you know if it suits your hand or not.

Exchange for wedding bands, choose an engagement ring yourself elsewhere.

I chose both mine, it's too important to look at one and feel sad for the rest of your life.

Don’t settle for a ring you don’t like.