I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

I voted YABU because I think it's in perfect taste, even if it isn't exactly what you would have picked. You can get a more elaborate wedding ring if that would make you feel happier about how it looks and maybe having more input into the decision will make you feel more in control of it. I think it's romantic that he bought it for you and it does suit your hand based on the picture (and maybe the issue is more that you feel self-conscious about your hands for no good reason?)

Full disclosure: my husband gave me his grandmother's engagement ring so neither of us got to pick what it looked like. I love it but it's too fragile to wear all the time. I still wouldn't change it. However, if he'd given me one like yours, I'd have loved that too.

I really like it.

But if it is going to bug you then you need to change it.

Yeah, this.

I guess you could tell him that white gold would coordinate better with the rest of your jewelry as a way to try not to devastate his feelings.

What a daft comment!

And if someone would be hurt/upset/angry over their partner (who they profess to love and want to spend the rest of their life with) wanting a piece of jewellery that they actually like/suits them, rather than wanting them to have and wear something they love, I'd reconsider marrying them.

My husband went out and bought an engagement ring without me knowing. It’s not at all what I would have chosen - it’s much simpler and more classic than I would have picked. Not going to lie I was disappointed. But he was just so pleased with it that I couldn’t tell him I didn’t like it. I picked a wedding ring that was more my style. 15 years later I actually do love it, as it means so much that he spent a long time researching and picking it. I could never change it.

However - I would try to gauge with your fiancé whether he put a lot of thought and effort into choosing that ring……. or whether he just went to the jewellers and just picked a random ring that he thought you might like. And then base your decision of what to do on that.

What a strange thing to do.

I would have loved a ring like that, it's so pretty. Mine had one tiny stone and it fell out, wasn't thrilled to start with so didn't have a repair and now don't wear an engagement ring through choice.

No point keeping it if you don't like it. He's acknowledged it mightn't be right by mentioning the exchange. I think people who are getting married should be able to have sensitive conversations like this so don't put up and shut up, just be straightforward about it - you love what he's done but don't love the ring itself and as you'll be wearing it forever, you're going to get one that you're happy with. Use the credit for something else and find an antique one with him, or one that goes with your wedding rings. I say all this even as someone who never bothered with engagements or its related rings and think being married is the important thing, but still, you have to like what's on your hand day in and day out so be (kindly) honest and get this sorted. I'm sure he won't really mind as long as you have something you like.

Truly, you can't get a diamond that size in gold for £360.

I've just double checked on a few online retailers (High St shops) and there are no diamond rings that size for the price you quoted.

Well the alternative to coming clean about not liking the ring, is just wearing it for the rest of your life and pretending you like it/ hoping one day you will.

So it's up to you, but I would tell him!

I'm in the 'marriage should be a discussion' not a 'question out of the blue' camp, as it's one of the biggest decisions for anyone to be considering, men and women. And that discussion should include preferences on jewellery/no jewellery, etc, especially for the one(s) who will be wearing it.

So Yes, I would say something along the lines of it's not your style, it doesn't suit you, and you'd like to figure out how to find something that does or give up on a ring entirely.

I think he must have chosen it ...with care ...because he thought you would love it. This is the ring he specially chose to propose to you. I really like it butpersonally I wouldn't risk hurting him by asking him to change it. However you know your own fiancé best. Everybody is different. Perhaps you feel he wouldn't be hurt if you asked him to exchange it. 🤔 I think though that as you've come on Mumsnet to see what others think you might be feeling it might hurt him. 🤔 Congratulations on your engagement. I would focus on the special warmth and enjoyment, planning, sharing your news ect rather than the ring itself if I were you. These very special times; n life don't come around very often. 💐

This for me too. Congrats on your engagement Op.

In terms of style, I think the band is too wide for the size of the stone.

As it's a close up shot, it's hard to judge the size.

What carat is the diamond?

I have long fingers and found an engagement ring looked a bit lost whichever style I chose. I got an eternity band to go with it which is a slim diamond (actually it's not real diamond) banded ring to fit underneath and it makes it look much better on my hand. It wasn't expensive. I now have an engagement ring, eternity ring and slim simple wedding band which look really nice together. But 11 years on I don't wear any of them because I find them irritating!

That said, personally I would like your ring a lot more if it wasn't gold, but that's my personal opinion.

Congrats on your engagement!

Oh come on!

So you really think it's back in the day when a man chooses a ring and has no idea if his partner likes the style?

It should be a JOINT decision.

The price he can afford and the style she likes.

Some people here have bonkers ideas.

I’m with you @Marooney, it’s generic and on the small side for your fingers and hands. I wouldn’t be happy wearing it either long term. Maybe until the wedding and then switch to wedding band only?

Mine is identical and I have to say I love it and think it looks great on your hands too. Having a wedding ring next to it bulks it out a bit. To be honest if I thought my other half had chosen something for me out of love unless it was shockingly bizarre the emotion behind it makes it lovely for me.

I would also aim for swapping for a wedding band and buying the engagement ring elsewhere . I agree with you it’s very bland.

I don’t think YABU to want to change it to something more you! I would perhaps frame it as you’re worried about the stone falling out of the setting with that style?

Putting the money towards wedding bands from the shop is a good idea!

I love it, but you don't op so it's a problem. You need to be honest with your fiancé imo, as a pp said you could use the credit for wedding rings. Was it really only 360 though? If it's a diamond I would think it would be way more than that.

You will probably get flamed for this!

But potentially choosing a good diamond and enhancing it with the correct cut can be a good investment.

Congratulations! In your shoes I would op to the shop without him, see if there is anything else that you would like. It’s a lifelong commitment- wearing the ring, you need to be happy with it

I totally agree with this. You sound really spoilt. I hope he reads this and asks for his ring back. You are unbelievable.