Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

663 replies

Marooney · 10/09/2024 11:56

Last night my partner proposed, which was lovely. I often like simple and classic in general but this ring just feels so small and generic, I'm sad. Also I have quite big hands and I think the ring is kind of swamped. He went to choose it after work apparently and went to the shop he knows in town. He said if I didn't like it I could change it, but I've had a look at the shop's website and honestly they don't have anything I like better. I like more vintage styles (lots on Etsy that I like), bigger stone (could be moissanite, I don't mind if it's not valuable) and this shop just has modern looking things, this is the best of the lot. Unfortunately they only do exchanges, not refunds. Not sure what to do :( I guess the AIBU is AIBU for feeling disappointed with this ring, and AIBU for seeing if he minds me using the shop credit for some future birthday and Christmas presents (it was about £360) and looking for a ring elsewhere. Any other suggestions welcome 🙏🏼

I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)
OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
TeenageSwans · 10/09/2024 13:07

Gottobehonest · 10/09/2024 13:07

@Girlslikepearls everyone I know got proposed to with a ring already decided. Where the guy got down on one knee. I'm in my 30's so I'm hardly from 'back in the day'

Gosh, it's true the younger generations are waay more reactionary.

TeenageSwans · 10/09/2024 13:07

This is why the surprise proposal with a ring is not 'romantic', more 'Here's some jewellery I chose for you, and which you're supposed to wear daily forever and feel grateful I chose for you.'

Gottobehonest · 10/09/2024 13:07

@Girlslikepearls everyone I know got proposed to with a ring already decided. Where the guy got down on one knee. I'm in my 30's so I'm hardly from 'back in the day'

Namechangeforcheese · 10/09/2024 13:06

Go into the shop and talk to them. They might well have other one off pieces (SH maybe) that aren't on the website. Or they might be able to order something in that is more to your taste or suggest alterations to boost this one a little.

I agree it's on the plain side and a little small for your finger. That's not his fault - jewellery, just like clothes, needs to be tried on to see what suits you. however, I disagree with people saying it's generic. Own brand tomato ketchup is generic - a diamond solitaire is a timeless classic.

3luckystars · 10/09/2024 13:06

sunseaandsoundingoff · 10/09/2024 12:59

Looks like a £50 Argos job, did he really pay £360?

I don’t think so, if that is a diamond it must have cost a lot more than £360

Definitely 100% change it if you don’t like it. It’s a waste otherwise. Go together and get happy!!

congratulations x

LostittoBostik · 10/09/2024 13:05

Weddingclash · 10/09/2024 11:59

Oh no that’s a really tricky one - could you keep the engagement ring & when you get your wedding ring get one that makes the set more to your taste ?

This was going to be my suggestion

SquatWeightaMinute · 10/09/2024 13:05

BruceAndNosh · 10/09/2024 12:36

What about adding a vintage style enhancer ring to surround the solitaire?

I had never heard of these so had a google and it's a fantastic idea!!

GameOfJones · 10/09/2024 13:04

sunseaandsoundingoff · 10/09/2024 12:59

Looks like a £50 Argos job, did he really pay £360?

So bloody rude.

OrwellianTimes · 10/09/2024 13:02

Your best solution would be to exchange it for wedding bands and get a pretty ring elsewhere.

GameOfJones · 10/09/2024 13:01

See, I really like this ring... it's classic and looks good on you but I totally understand you need to be happy with it as you're the one wearing it.

I would definitely go and try it on with some more blingy wedding rings first before you make a decision. A ring with a larger stone will be trickier to pair with a wedding band.

I have a very similar engagement ring, with a diamond wedding ring and also now an eternity ring and I love the combination. The benefit of the engagement ring you have is that it is timeless and will go with everything.

Obviously if you are really unhappy with it, then getting it exchanged for two wedding bands is a great idea.

DoIWantTo · 10/09/2024 13:01

I think if you don’t like it then you hand it back and propose to him with a ring he’d like instead.

CuloGrande · 10/09/2024 13:01

I like it.

8 years ago I was also very disappointed with my engagement ring. It wasn’t what I would have chosen. But DH told me why he chose it. And he did put a lot of thought into it. Now I’ve grown to love it.

sunseaandsoundingoff · 10/09/2024 12:59

Looks like a £50 Argos job, did he really pay £360?

Whenthechipshitthefan · 10/09/2024 12:58

Its not a love token ONLY. You have to wear it every day forever (hopefully!) So I think its fair to say you love him, you love being engaged, you don't love the ring. Its not something you could wear everyday forever. And you want to.
But you'd like to choose another together. The PP who said exchange for credit for wedding rings is right

SoManyTshirts · 10/09/2024 12:57

I had an engagement ring I hated (large, clearly visible flaw in the diamond) and dutifully and resentfully wore it during our entire marriage. I’d advise exchanging it as others have said.

McHot · 10/09/2024 12:57

BettyBardMacDonald · 10/09/2024 12:52

What???

Show quote history

My engagement from my first husband cost just short of £9k. We're divorced and married to other people now 🙂 the ring is now valued at around £1k if I wanted to sell it to a jewellers, because it's all a bit of a scam, based on silly ideas that it's only a valid token first time round and should be stupidly expensive.

The ring is lovely OP just not for you, swap it for some wedding rings

BurbageBrook · 10/09/2024 12:57

It's a gorgeous ring!

lefthandedcat · 10/09/2024 12:54

Iamawomandontcallmeanythingelse · 10/09/2024 12:02

Your partner does a lovely thing, and you find it ok to come online and complain about him? Lovely.

This

lifeisnotstraigtforward · 10/09/2024 12:54

Newsenmum · 10/09/2024 12:06

I think it looks incredibly classic and pretty!

This! I know its subjective and personal taste but I personally love it, its such a classic style of engagement ring. You could pick a fancier wedding band, with diamonds which will sit with it eventually, and so together they make a set. That's what I have a simple solitaire, but my wedding ring is a diamond wishbone (I don't even like wishbone rings as a rule) that sits snugly next to it and together they look compliment each other.

Congratulations on your engagement!

rosesareredvioletsareblueaimverytiredandsoareyou · 10/09/2024 12:54

Be honest, tell him you don't think it suits you, and offer to pay a little toward one that you think does work.
Congratulations on the engagement too!

Luckingfovely · 10/09/2024 12:53

You absolutely have the right to choose a ring that you will love, and hopefully be happy with on your finger for the rest of your life.

That isn't a real diamond at the price, and the design is the absolute most basic available.

Hopefully you can do the clever swap for wedding rings that a wise pp suggested!

Bollihobs · 10/09/2024 12:53

I think it's lovely! Irrelevant of course as it's your taste that counts but honestly I think that looks really nice in itself and on your hand. But if you don't I'd sort it now, sooner the better.

McHot · 10/09/2024 12:53

Starlight1979 · 10/09/2024 12:15

This.

Show quote history

OP made the mistake of thinking MN was a safe space to voice an opinion without hurting the feelings of her partner. She'll learn...

needsomewarmsunshine · 10/09/2024 12:52

Girlslikepearls · 10/09/2024 12:49

Truly, you can't get a diamond that size in gold for £360.

I've just double checked on a few online retailers (High St shops) and there are no diamond rings that size for the price you quoted.

It might be a lab grown diamond, that's no big deal though, it's still lovely.

BettyBardMacDonald · 10/09/2024 12:52

YaWeeFurryBastard · 10/09/2024 12:37

This is mumsnet so you’ll be told you should be grateful if a man gets you a generic ring that cost less than a week’s wages 🙄.

I’ve got to be honest I’d have been offended if my husband had given me a £350 ring which wasn’t to my taste. Part of the whole “proposing” thing is the man (or woman) choosing something his partner will love and spending a significant (to him) amount of money on it, demonstrating he’s prepared to make financial sacrifices/save/treat his wife etc. My engagement ring is so special to me because my husband saved and spent a significant amount of his income on something he had made for me. What’s £350 in relation to his financial situation out of interest?

What???