I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

He got her a ring she doesn’t like, that she’s meant to wear for the rest of her life. She’s allowed to complain.

I was in a similar situation to you, not keen on the ring to start with. Talked about it with my partner and he explained all of the thought that he had put in to choosing it and the reasons why he thought it would suit me.

I wouldn’t swap it for the world now. It is special to me because of that. I tend to wear only my wedding ring and engagement ring for special occasions.

To be loved is to be seen and he's just not shown you that he really knows you - and that's what's disappointing. He's chosen the blandest, safest option that doesn't reflect you at all.

Just talk to him. Any stable and kind person may feel a little bit hurt and then ultimately work with you to help you get what you want and will make you happy. Any other reaction and its a sign to run anyway!

I like the idea of exchanging for two wedding rings. This is probably the best solution.

I do understand your disappointment completely. DP just gave me a huge ruby ring for our 40th. He is terrible at choosing jewellery so he was carefully sign posted to ones I liked. He still went off piste though. I’ve worn it once and won’t ever wear it again until I find the time to redesign it. I don’t much like the stone though so at the moment I can’t be bothered.

I don't dislike it but it also wouldn't be to my taste at all.

We chose my ring together-thought that was the "done thing" unless there was an heirloom!

I love it. I expected something awful but it’s really lovely.

I'd feel funny about asking my fiance to change the ring. It would feel as if I want a 'trade up'.
Best way round is to ask for a diamond eternity as a wedding band.

In the UK and the US, we wear both engagement and wedding band together on the left hand. The men don't normally get an engagement ring.

My husband is Norwegian and it's different there, but it seems to vary. Right hand for engagement ring (for some people) and same with the wedding band. Though not everyone does this. Engagement rings aren't essential either. Saying that, men wearing engagement rings isn't uncommon! I had an engagement ring made for my husband after he made one for me and proposed. He wore it on his right hand and I wore mine on my left.

I understand if you don’t like your ring. It’s a big thing and you need to love it. It’s a lovely ring but I agree, delicate. You could upgrade the size of diamond/change the stone. You could wear it and add another ring with bigger gemstone/s as an eternity ring in a year or so. Or you could go into the shop and ask them if they have the ability to order different types of rings that you’d prefer. You never know.

I had a similar experience with my engagement ring too OP so I understand your disappointment it's a very small solitaire which I think cost him around 600 quid. I decided not to say anything and just keep it not necessarily because I thought it would grow on me but because of what it has represented. He bought it when he was absolutely broke, finishing uni and we had nothing between us. I know how long it would have taken for him to save for it and come to find he actually had sold something quite important to him in order to get it for me. We are in a very different position financially now and I remember he had said 'ill buy you a nicer ring one day' when he proposed but I wouldn't change it for the world as its a good reminder of how far we've come together over the last 10 years.

If you really don't like it totally not unreasonable to gently tell him that you would like a different style, you are hopefully going to be wearing it for the rest of your life, but maybe take a few days to think on what it represents and like others have said see if it grows on you you might be surprised how much you grow to love the ring he proposed with.

Could you get a wedding band more in the style of what you like and incorporate the engagement ring as part of the design?

What about a diamond eternity ring as a wedding band?

Today from this thread I learned that rings come in sizes, that rings can be made different sizes, and that people wear wedding and engagement rings at the same time. Is that on the same finger? I thought people wore engagement rings when they were engaged and wedding rings when they were married. Can you swap it for a ring for him?

It sounds like he wants you to be happy and swapping it is fine, I can’t see why swapping it at a different shop would be any different.

if you really don't like it, as you say, then no amount of people here liking it helps. Talk to him - you have to be able to talk to each other - and sort this out.

Please be honest. Tell him the truth that you really appreciate all his thought, effort and care, but it's not quite right. He should understand.

But he didn't need to choose it without her then, did he?

I think the ring is lovely and suits your hand.
It also sounds like he couldn't really have got it right as what you like is quite niche. There would have been a lot of potential to go wrong.

You can either dress it up with more fancy wedding rings you choose together or exchange it for wedding bands but your husband will inevitably be a bit hurt.

Honestly,

I think it’s a beautiful ring

How do you think you fiancé would take it if you asked to change it? There’s nothing stopping you buying another solitaire ring at a later date. I just think it will take away the excitement a little if you push ahead with a ring change now.

My MIL, updated her engagement ring on her 25th wedding anniversary, to something more modern because a lot had changed in fashions. I get you don’t want to wait that long, but I think it looks a tad spoiled if you rush to get it exchanged.

Lots of women I know don’t even wear their engagement ring once married and just wear their wedding band.

Please think this through before you taint your engagement

Honestly, pretend you like it and then lose it in a couple of years.....

OP I was in a similar situation to you, we had no money when we got engaged and my husband bought what he could afford at the time. I had never told him the style I like as I didn't expect the proposal!
I wore it for 5 years and when our financial situation was better I knew I wanted something different. We happened to have seen something in a vintage shop one day and we bought that.
I've kept the old ring and hope to do something with it one day. But I love the new one and at the end of the day it's just jewellery! I'm not a sentimental person 😅
Congratulations on your engagement xxx

There's no point even replying to someone with a username like that tbh

Congratulations! I had a not dissimilar feeling when my DH proposed. The diamond was stunning but the setting just wasn't "me". I ended up having the diamond reset into a different band - is that an option?