I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

Oooh I so feel your pain, I have been there too. A long past ex made a proposal to me just after we had polished off a bag of chips whilst waiting for the bus (just setting the romantic scene here). He proposed, whipping out a ring he had specifically had made for me, based on what his sister assured him I would love. It was horrendous and a real knuckleduster. He was so pleased with himself and obviously his whole family were in on it and thought the ring was stunning. Bless him, he had been working overtime for months to pay for it, telling me he was saving for a lads holiday.

I said yes but was gutted at the ring and knew it would break his heart if I told him I hated it. I cringed when people commented on it. My mates thought it was hysterical as it was the polar opposite of my style. If it was like the ring you have received (which I think is demur but does look good as its a classic), I wouldn't have been quite so upset. However had always wanted an art deco style ring.

Fast forward a couple of years, I was sat in the car and caught one of the claws in my ring on my fluffy jumper and had to take the ring off. I spent 10 minutes disentangling it and pulling the fluff out of the claws. Fiancé was laughing at me. Anyway we got out of the car, waited to cross the road and just as we got to the other side, I realised I hadn't put my ring back on, it had been on my knee. We ran back and found my ring on the floor by the car. Sadly a passing vehicle had flattened it - it was insured. I made sure I got to pick my replacement ring with my fiancé, the original ring became a pendant thanks to a skilled jeweller.

Two weeks later I found him in bed with someone else so we never did marry. It was a good outcome all around.

So pleased you sorted it out! You both sound a lovely couple - perfectly reasonable to want to absolutely love your engagement ring and tbh he sounds like a typical bloke (sorry if MN gets upset with this!). Best wishes for the wedding 💒

Isn’t it traditionally supposed to be three months salary!?

I think you’ll find it’s one month and it was a cynical marketing ploy by De Beers to part naive men from their hard earned money.

I love your style OP and you do not seem materialistic. But I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect that he thought this through more (and spent more!). Isn’t it traditionally supposed to be three months salary!?

I would just have an honest, respectful conversation with him. It’s not gracious to be secretly disappointed for fear of damaging his ego.

And from your posts he sounds reasonable and kind and will most likely understand. I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to wear an engagement ring that you don’t like,
esp as it’s such an important symbol.

In that case I apologise. I must've lost that particular thread in all the comments.

But honestly, I would discuss it with him and get something you like and use the credit for the wedding rings. Me, personally, I'd rather my significant other was happy with an item of jewelry she has to wear all the time rather than saying nothing and being unhappy. He'll be more happy that you said yes!

I think you did the right thing. Please update us with the ring you choose 🥰

OP I wouldn't bother replying to the PPs who are just here for a pile on. If I'm being kind I'd say there's a bit of projecting going on.
But Etsy. My DD used to sell some stuff on there, and she was telling me just the other day how much it has changed. The individual crafty type sellers cannot afford to use it any more and it's been overtaken by big companies pretending to be artisans. None of the individual sellers she used to buy from are on there any more.

Can you read? OPs hardly complaining, shes asking for advice, she’s not slating her fiancé, she just doesn’t like the ring. I don’t like the ring either and would be disappointed. I’d rather be honest and vice versa with my partner.

I would not buy an expensive ring on Etsy. There are so many fakes there.

Put “independent jewellery designer in “”where you are “” into google and find some local independents.

How on earth can you make any of those assumptions! You've assumed he decided on the day he bought the ring that he was going to propose and just chose a random ring. He mote likely has been looking for a while. Worrying if he's made the right choice and hoping he got it right. Don't make ridiculous statements that add nothing to this topic. OP already said it was the best ring the retailer had.

When I prossed I spent a good while looking for the right ring. Luckily I got it right. But if my now wife wasn't happy with the ring I'd rather she told me and chose one she liked. The ring is just s symbol. The important thing is that she said yes and we got married.

The idea of getting the wedding bands from the store is s great idea. But I'd be surprised if they wouldn't offer a refund, within a specific time.

I think men fall into two categories on this one; the ones who understand that the point of buying an engagement ring is to show that the proposal is a serious one, and that by their selection they've only really set the budget for the ring you might end up swapping it for. And then there are the ones who spent forever looking for the perfect ring, really thought you'd love it and would be devastated if you didn't. It depends which one he is. My engagement ring was a single diamond ring on a platinum band with two smaller diamonds as outriders. It always looked squashed to me so I asked him if he would mind me having it redesigned. The outriders came off and are in a little box waiting for our daughter to be old enough to enjoy. I think he thought I was a bit of a nightmare about it - but he knew that before he proposed. 🤓

I think the jewellers are at fault here - they should take it back and give him a full refund. Engagement rings are not the same as a regular jewellery purchase.

I think the replacement ring is lovely. Make sure you get all the necessary paper work with it (for insurance purposes) as you'll want to wear the ring out and about and if anything were to happen to it, you would need to have a valuation etc.

Just to give you an alternative 'proposal' story - I had just given birth to our first child and my BF as he was then proposed. No ring, nothing. Just proposed. So when my pregnant swollen fingers had gone down in size, we went shopping and he bought me a ring that we were both really happy with and I wear it every day. So it is definitely possible to propose with no ring and then sort that bit out later once you're both happy.

If you don’t like it today you are never going to like it. I would hate to have something that I am going to wear everyday picked for me. I would def see if you could change it for wedding rings and pick something you like elsewhere

They are a lot cheaper when you consider the clarity of diamond you can get for your money.

That makes sense, here you couldn't get even lab diamonds for that price. Tbh I don't think lab diamonds are that much cheaper than mined ones anymore, at least in the UK, but yes of course there are the ethical considerations...

They have a looooot of bad reviews.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/ShinyJungleJewellery

This company do stunning rings, very high quality too. I've bought a couple of rings from them and they're absolutely gorgeous. Definitely worth a look.

@AllTipAndNoIceberg has this spot on in their last paragraph!
This is supposed to be a site for (mainly once upon a time) women supporting women, but has now become so toxic, since when did it become the norm to pile on the OP with such judgmental and untrue - literally made up - negativity ? Surely, surely, it's better to communicate to the man she is excited about marrying that she isn't a massive fan of a lifetime piece of jewellery that she'll presumably wear every day of her marriage, than suck it up for the sake of keeping the peace and upsetting her future husband ? It's all so fucking presumptuous and nasty feeling - those posters who have taken the husbands 'side' in this - why don't you try and find a little empathy. Really put yourself in that position and answer again, but this time - honestly! It's such a shame in this day and age with all of the misogyny and growing fear of just existing as a woman, that we can't just all be soding nice :(
Sorry for the de-rail OP, I think you've handled this situation wonderfully and with a great outcome- the fact he reacted the way he did bodes well surely for a communicative and thoughtful marriage, wishing you the very best and hope you find a ring you (both) adore

OP is in South European country not UK, she's a bit shocked at the price of similar rings in UK. It's a lab grown stone so a bit cheaper again, although tbh I'd prefer that given the shady nature of the diamond trade.

£360? Why was it so cheap? It looks like a good size stone, so I doubt that's a "real" diamond. I don't think you could find something around that price even for moissanite. My engagement ring stone is smaller than that and it was £1250 16 years ago!

Great idea. Our wedding rings were only about £150 each