I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

I don’t wear my engagement ring all the time either. I do way too many craft thins with my hands, and if I kept it on all the time, it’d be banged around and flecked with glue and paint!

I’d honestly just tell him you don’t like it. You wear your engagement ring every day, you love and trust him enough to marry him so you should love and trust him enough to be honest.
Ex DH was well primed to not propose with an engagement ring, I wanted to choose my own and he loved me enough to respect that. I wouldn’t have married him if he hadn’t - plus engagement ring shopping is fun!
I love the idea of exchanging for wedding bands.
Good luck and congrats.

Its a shame he didn't have more of a conversation with you to try to understand what you would like, but does sound like he tried his best. I think often people proposing feel pressured into the idea that an engagement ring has to be a diamond on a band. That also wasn't my style. My engagement ring is technically an eternity ring, with sapphires and diamonds. I didn't want anything that 'stuck up' like the traditional diamond engagement ring, and also find the traditional engagement rings really quite boring and samey.

I think just be honest with him - he sounds really reasonable. I like the idea I read up-thread about getting your wedding rings from the shop instead

I’m really curious as to the kind of ring you would like. Would you mind sharing some examples? I like jewellery and I’m nosy!

Another one to say that your feelings are completely valid BUT I think it's a beautiful, classic ring that won't "date" if that makes sense. It could look lovely paired with a more detailed wedding band.

My exh just proposed with a wedding band so could be worse!

Also think this is a good solution

Meghan clearly disliked her engagement ring and had it remodelled, despite Harry being pleased as punch with his design for ‘mummy’s diamonds’. He still seems quite keen on his wife.

I know lots of women who don’t regularly wear an engagement ring. My own DM only wears a band.

I know others who wear it on occasion, not always.

The POW in her video released yesterday, wasn’t wearing her engagement ring. Does that mean she doesn’t like her ring?

Just because you haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean anything

@Marooney so you need to tell him sooner rather than later. The longer you delay this, he will just assume that you like the ring.

Just tell him you love him and you can't wait to get married. Can we choose a ring together.

The longer you leave this, the harder it will be to address.

My engagement ring wasn’t pricey, no one could afford that much, but it’s priceless to me, especially since DH died.

It shouldn’t be about the value etc.🤷‍♀️

It’s so weird how someone saying they don’t like the look of a ring makes some posters so frothingly furious. My husband (idiot) thought it would be romantic to propose with a ring. He has zero interest in jewellery and no fashion sense. I had no idea he would do this. He asked a colleague at work for advice and presented me with a ring that was expensive (for him) but hideous with a thick band and the smallest diamond ever in a style that rapidly became dated. I was stupid and didn’t tell him I hated it, but never wore it. I later inherited a beautiful vintage engagement ring which I do love. As others have said, women wouldn’t be expected to be grateful if their boyfriend presented them with a wedding dress they’d chosen and that’s just to wear on one day for, not every day for the rest of your life. Don’t be an idiot like me. Get it sorted. And single women, make it clear you want to choose your own ring. I’m not greedy, I’d have happily paid for mine!

@McHot

How can a ring that cost 9k only be worth 1k now?

@Marooney if you knew a proposal was in the works did you speak to him first?

I know I was a bit worried about what DH would pick so told him clearly what I didn't want (ironically, a small solitaire) and steered him towards alternative stones as I knew his budget was quite small.

In the end he had his own idea of what he wanted to get for me but ran it by me in a long list of rings first. I was very lucky as his choice is way better than what I had suggested. But if I hadn't, I likely would have ended up with exactly what you got.
Still very pretty and I wouldn't have changed it myself but just not as good as it could have been.

I guess it's a moot point now but men are very rarely able to read our brains with engagement rings and yet they often do care and put a lot of thought in, getting it wrong.
You're clearly really disappointed so you'll have to tell him and maybe explain that there might be a cultural difference which means you have to revise your expectations but could you meet half way etc?

I don’t wear my “engagement ring” all the time. (I was happy to wait until we were married and earning, and I chose the ring I wanted and loved) But my wedding band never leaves my finger. It’s simply not something I ever felt comfortable gardening, cleaning, doing other dirty jobs in, or doing anything where I might catch the gem claws and lose a stone, or scratch someone. I tend to save it for going out in, special occasions. There wasn’t the huge choice of wedding bands around when we got hitched, but we opted for Russian style three colour gold, so not just plain bands.
I make jewellery, and a lot of my work comes through repairing damaged jewellery, or re working old pieces and making vintage stuff more wearable for the owner.
If our really don’t like your ring, and can be utterly up front with your loved one, without it causing a big rift, then get the credit for something, and go and choose something together.

FFS - I genuinely can't believe the amount of posters on here saying @Marooney should just keep quiet and wear a ring she doesn't like.

Her OH spent an hour in a local jeweller, there are no emotional ties to this ring from his side.

If their relationship can't take:
'Darling, I love that you proposed to me and I can't wait to be your wife, however, the engagement ring just isn't quite to my taste, let's choose something together.'........................ then quite frankly, they shouldn't be getting married.

I was convinced to spend a lot on an engagement ring after reading about how they could be useful stores of value for women in society-collapse situations. I might have been feeling a bit pessimistic.

In the end, she didn't like any of the expensive rings we looked at, so it was fairly cheap. But she likes it and, as far as the ring goes, that's the main thing.

Which is why I think the OP is best to ask for what she wants, in a loving and polite way.

Looks like mine, I didn't like it either. I mean objectively it's a nice ring, I just didn't feel anything for it 😂 I just don't wear it now, DH doesn't mind. Neither or us wear any rings in fact.

Sorry OP if you hate it you are going to have to get it changed or it will just annoy your forever. It's the one piece of jewellery that you have to look at every day for the rest of your life (or until you divorce) and for the first few months you go around showing it to everyone so you do want to like it.

I'd just tell him that you love him to bits, love that he went to the effort of picking it but it just isn't to your taste and does he mind if you change it to another?
If he says yes then just make it happen. So if the ring came from a jewellery shop just take the store credit and use it for a future purchase - mums birthday earrings or necklace for sister etc
If it came from somewhere like argos just get store credit and use it for something in the future for the house.

Meanwhile get on etsy and buy yourself what you like. I bought myself this for my 50th and it was £385 - Edwardian rose cut diamonds. I have big chunky hands too.

Op, your new fiancé sounds like he’d be pretty pragmatic about the whole thing, from what you’ve said so far. I think you should be honest with him now, much better that than you pretending to love it and then letting it slip at some point further down the line.

Arm yourself with the idea to swap the ring for your wedding bands, and some ideas / pics of rings you love.

Yes. I think wives automatically taking their husband's name is anachronistic, as is children automatically being given their father's. My children have both my surname and their mother's.