I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

I think if you have rejected other jewellery offerings in the past, he should be used to it now (and I cannot believe he did not ask for some hints). Perhaps say that it IS beautiful, but not the style you usually wear and will be lost among your statement pieces. Show him the pictures of the ones you like and tell him that you want your engagement ring to be something that you love almost as much as him (yeah, I know - I am trying here!) and that it will not be hidden behind your other pieces of jewellery. Go along the lines of exchanging the existing one for two wedding bands, and go shopping together for your new one. Give him some options and ask him to choose the one he prefers. Then he still has input.

£360 isn't cheap? Aside from which, its value doesn't lie in its cost. I mean, my wedding band is made from a literal shilling & the other ring I wear (from DH) was handmade by a jeweller friend using a stone I adore & cost much more but it's value to me is the same 🤷🏼‍♀️

Just be cautious about pearl rings. Pearls aren't robust like diamonds and won't stand up to constant wear.

He's not a child. It's an important item, and he should have taken her with him to the shop, or asked her to identify preferred styles.

The rings you like are beautiful! The one he chose is meh, I wouldn’t have liked it either. I’m unsure why everyone is so concerned about
him being upset but you spending the rest of your life wearing a ring you don’t like is fine. Tell him you’ve tried it out but it just isn’t you, and you’d like to change it for something that feels more celebratory and to your taste.

Tbh I love that ring. But you never will - so just talk to him.

Bless him ! He tried!

(Men, they're damned if they do and they're damned if they don't...)

That's a beauty, @AncientAndModern1 - the lustre on the pearls is gorgeous. Not a crazy price either, cheaper than many generic white gold solitaires we see so many of..

I had a similar situation with an ex (although we had talked about the type of ring I’d like and he actively decided to buy something completely different because the stone was better quality - so he had good intentions). I told him, not immediately but I think he knew before I did anyway. I really regret that now. The relationship ended (for unrelated reasons!) but he was and is a good man and I know I hurt him. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but given my same situation again I would say nothing and would love the ring because of its giver.

I'd get a different piece of jewellery you do like from the shop as an exchange, then choose a ring together as we did. I went for an antique one as well

I think it’s a rare man who can choose a ring unless he’s quite stylish himself.
I can absolutely understand your disappointment.
If you could change the ring for two gold wedding bangs and then choose another ring for you….
I love the rings you have picked for yourself. You can see you like more of a chunkier style.
I know some men can be quite easy to offend on these matters but if you are getting married then surely it’s better to be honest now than to walk around wearing a ring you don’t like.
If things were in reverse, would you want him to wear something that wasn’t his style?
Just tell him and it’s not a rejection of what he is chosen, just note of a chunkier ring suits your hand and personal style.
Better that than him finding out a few years in.

I think they are lovely. Vintage art deco cluster diamond rings are not expensive and would give a similar look. Or something like this which is 18ct gold,not 9carat, and natural stones. https://www.antiqueringboutique.com/products/antique-edwardian-diamond-and-pearl-cluster-ring-18ct-yellow-gold

I think as you feel strongly about it you should just tell him gently that you'd like to look at different rings and choose something that's more you. Say you could make a day of it and get him an engagement gift of his choice too. Women spend ages tying themselves up in knots about being polite/not hurting feelings and most men don't give a fuck. Either he won't care if you change it, or he will care but put your feelings first, because at the end of the day it's just a ring. Or third option, he will be an arse about it...in which case you might want to reconsider your answer.

@Marooney I absolutely love those ring choices! The pearl one 😍.
Back in the day, couples used to go and choose a ring together, which is a far better idea.
I tried on quite a lot before settling. You'll be wearing it for many years, so it's an important choice.
So I think you should have an honest conversation and show him those pictures you've posted above. Great idea to get wedding bands from the shop, and an engagement ring from elsewhere.

I don't like it much either OP. The gold is nice but the overall ring is dull. I'm very picky and would hate not to have any input on my ring tbh. It sounds like you weren't consulted at all or your taste considered. I'd be honest, take it back and ask if the exchange can go towards your wedding rings and look for an engagement ring together.

It is only an object but if you want to wear it every day it should spark some feeling when you look at it. I don't actually have a property engagement ring atm. DH had to shell out some serious money for something urgent and had to spend his ring fund. I told him to- he needed that, I didn't need a ring, as much as I wanted one. We got engaged using a family ring from my side. I'm fine with this and wear it happily, but whilst my mum gushes about how special it is, I feel no attachment to it as an "engagement" ring although I describe it as such for technical reasons and even though I loved wearing it as an inherited piece on my right hand. I can't wait until I FINALLY get to shift it back and choose one myself and I have schooled DH that it will be a trilogy- I can't stand single stones unless they're literally diamonds as big as the Ritz.

For contrast my wedding ring is also an heirloom and l love that- because I chose to wear it. I knew when I saw it, before I even knew DH.

This is one of those lose lose situations.

If you tell him you don't like it, it's a bit shitty as you said he spent 2 hours choosing it and even if he says he doesn't mind, it still shows that despite him going to the effort to choose it for you, he clearly doesn't know you well enough!

And if you don't tell him, then you are stuck with a ring you don't like.

I think it's really pretty.

BUT, YABU because this is entirely your fault. You said yourself it had been in the pipelines, so you've had a while to do the whole "Ohhh, if we get married, I'd love an engagement ring like this..." thing. That way he would have been able to choose something you liked.

Remodelling would cost more than a cheap ring is worth

Yes, stylistically they are very different.

Are you actually going to talk to him about wanting to change rings? The more you delay, the harder it will be

I think it’s lovely and looks great on your finger and lovely hand.Congratulations to you both. 💍🥂

An utterly bizarre take. The OP has to wear it forever!

Who cares what anyone else thinks?

If I felt as you do about the ring I'd find a jeweller who would rework it for me. The materials will still be those that he bought for you but the style would be yours.

I can't believe people are suggesting you should feel so grateful, that you should lie for the rest of your life that you like it.

Why? Grateful to be proposed to ? Given a gift?

I wouldnt wear it either.

I'd find a way to tell him. "I've been thinking and it's not me... and I can't be dishonest about this forever."