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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

..Was I Being Sexually Assaulted Or Am BU?

29 replies

Helpnifoseeker · 10/09/2024 11:35

Name change for this as it's very personal and I don't like talking about it need advice.
I have split from my X over a year ago and he seems to be getting a bit annoyed and seeming to want to start arguments. I am now very anxious and have told the police and the local DV organisation and made an appointment with my GP regarding anxiety but something has started to play on my mind. My X used to go through phases of jabbing me between my buttocks as I walked past him to the point I would walk around the house with my hand over my bottom to stop him and start to keep my distance from him. He would tend to do it more when we hadn't had sex for a while. He knew I didn't like it, it's hard to explain the sensation but it's really horrible but no matter what I said, he would just fob me off and even tell me I should be glad he did it!
I am now wondering if this could be classed as assault, as he knew it upset me but would not respect my feelings and my right to walk round my own home without being molested.
My question is, IS that a form of assault or AIBU. If it IS assualt, what should I do about it? Should I keep quiet for now and only act if I have to top stop him from preventing me moving or causing me even more stress and anxiety than I already have? I can't remeber there ever being any witnesses so it'd be my word against his. He also caught me in a headlock last year and put just enough pressure on my neck to hurt a bit and made what those I have told about it agree was a veiled threat. The police told me it was an assault and I could prosecute but again, no witnesses and I was to exhausted to deal with the legal system at that time. Still am TBH but if he pushes me too far, I will defend myself legally in any way I can. Constructive comments ( including constructive criticism) welcome, I'll just ignore any rudeness, nastiness or negativity though.

OP posts:
Helpnifoseeker · 10/09/2024 11:51

@Ull Thank you for your kind words. It's a really embarrassing and shaming thing for me to admit so I am grateful !
I'm not in the UK but I spoke to a support worker at the DV organisation local to me yesterday and I am on the system now but I forgot to tell her about this. I waiting for a call back from my solicitor as well so I'll try and psyche myself up for telling him this. I feel a bit ashamed so that's why this post is anonymous, but I know I have to grow a thicker skin to defend myself if he escalates.

OP posts:
frecklejuice · 10/09/2024 11:48

newnamethanks · 10/09/2024 11:43

Why are you still with this oaf? Lose him, things will not improve, no matter what you do.

She isn't, it says ex.

newnamethanks · 10/09/2024 11:43

Why are you still with this oaf? Lose him, things will not improve, no matter what you do.

Ull · 10/09/2024 11:40

Are you in the uk op?
that is absolutely vile, disgusting awful thing to do to you and yes it is assault. I don’t know how to categorise it but in my opinion I feel it’s sexual assault also. Could you talk to woman’s aid about this and see what they advise you to do? I know it’s personal and probably daunting to say it out loud but I would see what they would advise you and what steps to take on reporting it to the police.

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