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Original poster

Is it possible to be 43 and NOT be perimenopausal

187 replies

Improbablywrong · 10/09/2024 09:46

I don’t have any symptoms except that I feel more agitation around my period. Always been like that actually but just a little worse, although we do have other stresses.

Not a single other symptom. My periods are regular as clockwork and have not changed in anyway. I had a blood test done recently and all came back normal.

And yet every single friend I have (same age as me) is talking about perimenopause as if it’s 100% definitely that we are all in it and it is to blame for everything. Bad day at work? Perimenopause. Did a big fart? Perimenopause. Itchy armpit? Perimenopause.

I can’t relate and I find it kind of catastrophising very normal things. When the real symptoms come, how will they feel then? When I say oh no, I don’t think it’s perimenopause as I don’t have symptoms, they’ll list all these things that I don’t think are symptoms.

so, is it possible to actually NOT be perimenopausal as soon as you hit 40?

OP posts:
IfARedFlagWereAPerson · 10/09/2024 10:49

ThisFunHedgehog · 10/09/2024 10:39

Yes, my mum gave birth to my sister when she was 48.

You can be peri-menopausal and still be fertile.

LadyQuackBeth · 10/09/2024 10:49

It's really the new hot topic for women our age. The swing has gone too far from being completely overlooked to being blamed for absolutely everything.

My friend is a GP and pretty much all the 40 something women she sees are blaming peri for their symptoms: "brain fog, cough and tested positive for covid last week - think it's peri..." "twisted my ankle a few weeks ago and it feels stiff in the morning, which I think it peri..." she's even had a couple of pregnancies blamed on it.

Less funny are the breast lumps and intermittent bleeding that could be signs of things more serious.

Of course you might not have it yet, I'm 45 with no symptoms, little bits of getting older (like changing eyesight) but nothing female hormone specific.

IfARedFlagWereAPerson · 10/09/2024 10:48

ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 10/09/2024 10:13

If you're having regular periods you aren't perimenopausal.

That is simply untrue and it's disappointing to see it used by women to dismiss the experiences of others. You can be experiencing other peri symptoms but still have regular periods. It's really important we educate women on this properly.

I am very active and suddenly had really sore joints - it was so bad I could open water bottles. I needed a nap in the afternoons which was absolutely bizarre for me. Doctor suspected arthritis (!) and sent me for MRIs and tried to put me on anti-depressants for the sleepiness suggesting I was depressed (I did not feel depressed at all).

I investigated, requested HRT at 44. Within a month, all joint pain was gone, as was the sleepiness.

Every body is different so throwing around nonsense about regular periods is incredibly unhelpful.

HoppityBun · 10/09/2024 10:48

Yes. I had no menopause symptoms at all.

KreedKafer · 10/09/2024 10:47

I'm 48 and showing zero signs of perimenopause. My mum didn't have any symptoms at my age either, and neither did my older sister. None of my close friends who are my age have any significant issues yet either - one thought she was having symptoms but it turned out, in fact, to be something completely different (so many women are fobbed off with 'it's menopause, have some HRT' when they're not menopausal at all).

is it possible to actually NOT be perimenopausal as soon as you hit 40?

Of course it's possible. I'd say 40 was actually very early for perimenopause.

DramaAlpaca · 10/09/2024 10:45

I wasn't in perimenopause at 43, but by 44 I definitely was. The classic sign was that my very regular 28-day cycle, became irregular.

error404notfound · 10/09/2024 10:42

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ThisFunHedgehog · 10/09/2024 10:39

Yes, my mum gave birth to my sister when she was 48.

Sparting · 10/09/2024 10:25

Simple answer OP - yes

northernballer · 10/09/2024 10:25

I'm 46 and nothing I can pinpoint as perimenopuasal yet.

Jmaho · 10/09/2024 10:20

I've just turned 44 and haven't really noticed anything major yet.
I'm always grouchy in the lead up to my period and always have been. I'm always tired as I don't eat well and stay up too late just because I enjoy the peace and quiet in the house!
The only thing that has changed is my cycle is shorter. I used to be regular as clockwork, every 28 days but now I'm finding period is taking me by surprise and coming a good few days early. I assume that's a symptom??
My mum had a hysterectomy in her early 40s so hard to say.
My eldest sister is 50 and now having major symptoms but then they've both always had lots of gynae problems with heavy periods and endometriosis and I never have.
Talking of HRT, have people found their doctors open to offering this? My sister has had a real battle getting it prescribed

IMustDoMoreExercise · 10/09/2024 10:18

Autumnweddingguest · 10/09/2024 09:53

Definitely. I didn't notice peri-menopause symptoms until I was 50. Menopause came 5 years later.

Same here.

I am 58 now and my symptoms have been mild so far.

Bornnotbourne · 10/09/2024 10:18

Yelling I’m not fucking perimenopausal probably won’t help!!
I agree attribution of every minor illness is annoying especially as someone who menopausal due to aggressive treatment in her 30’s. I try not eye roll at the media and the hype around the menopause.

Q124 · 10/09/2024 10:18

I'm 42 and no symptoms that im aware of. Although I've had insomnia a couple of time lately where I've never had this before. I did wonder whether insomnia could be a first sign.

MikanOrange · 10/09/2024 10:18

The mental / emotional symptoms often come before physical ones. I have none of the physical ones (yet) but have noticed increased brain fog, anxiety, etc.

2chocolateoranges · 10/09/2024 10:18

I started to show signs last year when I was 47, so it is possible that you aren’t peri menopausal yet. I think as soon as women hit mid 40s everyone blames every symptom on the menopause, I know it’s happened to me!

mbosnz · 10/09/2024 10:17

I'm 52, and only just hit perimenopause.

Summertimer · 10/09/2024 10:16

43 sounds quite early for the peri menopause

Happyearlyretirement · 10/09/2024 10:16

I feel the same about the menopause, I luckily sailed through it 5 years ago, any small issue my friends cry menopause, I feel it takes away from people who really suffer.

Original poster
Improbablywrong · 10/09/2024 10:16

ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 10/09/2024 10:13

If you're having regular periods you aren't perimenopausal.

You’d think so but the amounts of times I hear “you might still be perimenopausal, most women are and don’t know”.

OP posts:
Tourmalines · 10/09/2024 10:15

ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 10/09/2024 10:13

If you're having regular periods you aren't perimenopausal.

Exactly this . Ignore your friends.

ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 10/09/2024 10:13

If you're having regular periods you aren't perimenopausal.

GingerPirate · 10/09/2024 10:06

Yes, of course.
45 yo here and nothing so far, but both mother and grandmother had their periods into their late sixties.
☹️

Original poster
Improbablywrong · 10/09/2024 10:00

UnaOfStormhold · 10/09/2024 09:59

Some women sail through with no symptoms at all so it's perfectly possible. And there's a huge menopause commercial and media bandwagon trying to sell women stuff they don't need, so the pendulum has definitely swung from neglecting menopause to hyping it.

That said, I started taking HRT at 45 for insomnia/bone health and was pleasantly surprised how many other niggling problems cleared up which I hadn't realised were hormone-related!

This is exactly it. I feel like an ad campaign has taken over my friends!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Improbablywrong · 10/09/2024 09:59

It doesn’t bother me, I feel the same as ever. I just find it really hard when every normal interaction is put down to the perimenopause.

Ie - husband has been a right bastard that day and when I recount the argument -
”You’re probably perimenopausal”

cat has done a shit in the bath and I got angry
“you’re probably perimenopausal”

bloody yeast infection in armpit again (always suffered with this)
”youre probably perimenopausal”

it feels dismissive and a throwaway answer

OP posts: