Is it possible to be 43 and NOT be perimenopausal

Thanks @UnaOfStormhold

Can I ask what the niggling problems that cleared up were?

I have many symptoms but not sure I'd related to peri.

That's exactly my point—it's not perimenopause, it's atrophy.

Maybe your friends are trying to either reassure you that any issues you have aren't unusual or life threatening or maybe they like the whole 'we're in this together' vibe? Or maybe they're just annoying tossers, who knows?

I think the thing with peri is that it’s insidious- by the time you realise it’s here, it’s probably been dragging you down for a while, bit by bit.

But I do agree with this ^. I look back and think I was OK up until about 52/53 ish. Then I remember that for about five years before that my periods gradually became horrendous - still very regular but having to empty a mooncup every hour leading to anaemia which meant I felt tired all the time.

Then they just stopped and I thought yey, then the night hot flushes immediately started and I began losing hair and I started getting random muscle aches and I don't think I've had a decent night sleep for around 14 months. Mentally I feel fine but I don't think the lack of sleep is good for me long term. Currently summoning up the energy to go and see the GP about HRT.

But yes I think it's perfectly possible to not be perimenopausal at 43.

I agree I was regular ! But started perimenopause symptoms age 44 they crept in at that age not horrible symptoms but annoying ones and u can’t always put your finger on why ! Started hrt 44 I’m 48 now and some symptoms getting worse like hormonal acne joint pain and irregular periods now so it’s time I think to adjust my hrt .

I don't bounce back like I used to—hangovers last longer and feel worse, a bad night's sleep makes me look ten years older, slacking off from exercise, or eating badly for a couple of weeks makes my muscles turn to porridge.

But men friends say this too - some of it's just getting older, not getting older as a man/ getting older as a woman.

Am 40 and feel like I’m being bombarded with perimenopause messaging / accounts / reels on social media. It makes me feel like I must be! But my cycle is regular.

I have noticed PMS is worse - including big hormonal shift around ovulation is much more pronounced than it used to be. And I get insomnia. So maybe maybe verrrrrry subtle hormonal changes?! But probably not full peri.

Exactly. There are so many symptoms that can be attributed to perimenopause that it can be just as dismissive a concept as anything else to do with women's health.

I don't bounce back like I used to—hangovers last longer and feel worse, a bad night's sleep makes me look ten years older, slacking off from exercise, or eating badly for a couple of weeks makes my muscles turn to porridge.

I could list all the "symptoms" that have resulted from poor lifestyle choices and you could easily attribute them to perimenopause (and send me off to demand HRT from my GP) when what I really need is to stop being such a feckless cunt.

I was peri from 55 to 57 (when menopause occurred). Now "post menopause" at 60 things are easing off.

You can be peri with few symptoms and having regular periods... I was for the first year. But too much gets blamed on the menopause, and too many conditions (heart disease in particular) get missed in women because "menopause".

My mother in law is 56 this year and has no menopause symptoms

I have noticed the same, annoys me!

I think it's sometimes they don't realise what it actually is - the "menopause" is once periods have stopped, the "peri menopause" is when you start to have all the changes and symptoms. I think some think "peri" is a sort of "intro" stage before they get all the hot flushes etc that they are defining as the menopause itself. If that makes any sense??

I know people who are insistent they are in peri - who cares really?! The gp isn't going to give you some magic cure for your brain fog.

Well, if you head over to the "I'm 36 and he's 23" thread, you'll find out that it's an established FACT that all women will inevitably start to melt and fall apart and become hideous crones when they hit their mid 40s...🙄

This is MN, if it's a supply problem at the Supermarket: It's Brexit.

If it's a matter of women's health: Ha! must be peri.

Why?

Some women don't get pmt or have heavy periods.

But others do.

Yes 49 and not hit yet!!!! You think it would have. Regular periods and no symptoms.

Other posters don't seem to aware of that from the content of their posts which have conflated the two throughout this thread.

So I think your clarification above is really useful too.

I believe the average age of menopause in the UK is 53.

Yes @RedToothBrush I am aware of that. The point is that different ages of menopause will mean different timings for perimenopause too. Ergo if you get to menopause at 56, you are more unlikely to be experiencing the typical 5-10 years of peri symptoms in your early 40s, much like the OP.

The age of menopause and the age of perimenopause symptoms starting are different things.

Correct well said 👏 you can absolutely be peri menopausal and have regular periods.

Or subsequent dismissive and, at times, somewhat ignorant posts.

I don't see why this is any different to cancer. We are constantly bombarded with messaging about cancer. Not everyone will get cancer. But the slightest symptom is often listed as a possible symptom.

It's useful to have some information and not be dismissive of this information. Some health issues are more likely for some groups that others based on past medical history and past family history.

A lack of information means you can't make informed decisions. Informed decisions include being able to say 'nope that's not me and not right for me'.

I certainly wasn't aware of a lot of things before. Talking to older friends made me realise that I'm probably at a higher risk. This is useful.

If you have a history of issues relating to hormone sensitivity, depression, post natal or peri natal depression or neuro diversity you MAY be more sensitive to hormone fluctuations.

There are women on this thread who don't know this.

I didn't know that mental health related issues peak during perimenopause. The reasons for this are varied and are thought to be both hormonal and down to life style pressures. But perimenopause can and does tip some women over the edge.

We should know about when to seek support as much as when it's probably not appropriate for you.

46 is the average age when women start to notice symptoms. If they do. Average. People generally seem to have difficulty understanding the concept of average. That means a significant number of women won't experience any symptoms until much later than that. That also means a lot of women will do, and possibly won't be taken seriously because of what the current NHS guidance says and how some GPs are absolute jobs worths.

None of this means you will need to have HRT. Or even wish to try it even if they do have symptoms. Because it's all about informed consent and always retaining the ability to say no. But for others it will be almost life changing. Saying it's just the latest trend or about £££ is really unhelpful and damaging to some.

We certainly should have better awareness of perimenopause because the number of women saying things like 'well I'm pregnant so can't be perimenopausal' or 'you can't be perimenopausal because you still have regular periods' highlight the point.

This isn't a woman health issue for a small number of women. If you live long enough it affects ALL women.

But it seems we can't have a grown up conversation about it without snark.

I'm only really getting a few signs now at 50 (some irregularity in my cycles). Everything was clockwork at 43.

I was fine at 43, no changes at all. I’m almost 50 now and things are a bit different.

The average age of menopause can vary a lot - eg I’ve been told by the GP that the average age is 56 in Japan.

I am 46 and have no physical symtoms. Brain fog, anxiety and exhaustion I have had on and off since having my babies (ergo less sleep) so I can’t really tell the difference.

Be careful what you wish for 😂 I'm 39 with said hot flushes they're horrendous, have to lie on the floor with nausea and faint feeling you feel like you're on fire. then afterwards when you're done with that bit you feel freezing with shivers. What joy it is especially when they occur in a public place.

OP I think far more women go through the early bits of menopause without realising it precisely because their symptoms are not that noticeable and as such miss out on balancing their hormones early enough in a way that can prevent things such as osteoporosis etc. Blood tests are not generally helpful for 'diagnosing' perimenopause initially as hormones fluctuate so much anyway but many gp's still use it and don't seem to actually know that much about it. I'm very fortunate to have a GP who spent years specialising in menopause so have had a much easier time getting my voice heard on the varied symptoms. And yes a heck of a lot of random symptoms can be attributed to menopause including clumsiness, forgetfulness, aches and pains, migraines etc etc. It's not just hot flushes and mood swings. Of course not everyone of that age will be going through it but a huge amount more than was thought a decade ago will be. Keep your magnesium levels up ladies!!