I can't stop drinking wine

A close relative was told to cut down gradually and not stop abruptly, even though they were desperate to.

Of course an addict cannot 'cut down' and they ended up having to have a transplant.

Cutting down gradually needs to be carefully monitored to ensure they are actually cutting down.

Some people can stop drinking two bottles of wine a day (or significantly more in spirits) and just get the shakes, sweaty etc. Others, me included, have hallucinations and seizures that can kill them. These are known as Delirium Tremens or DTs, which even George Best says in his autobiography that he never experienced.

I've been in AA for many years and spoken to a LOT of people about this. It's a relatively small percentage of alcoholics who are affected as badly as I was, but it does happen and you have no way of telling if you'll be in that minority. So yes, cutting down in a controlled way is far safer. Very difficult to do unless you have a trusted person with you who can control your intake.

Agree going cold turkey can be extremely dangerous if you are drinking excessively. My brother ended up in a Salvation Army " Lifehouse". We had a 3 day delay before they could take him in. Medical advice was strongly NOT to stop him drinking as he was utterly dependent. We spent a very long 3 days giving him small glasses of wine at regular intervals as " medicine " until the professionals took over and started his detox and road to sobriety.
Cold turkey is not the answer for someone who is heavily dependent

I drink 2-3 bottles a week and if I don't drink say Tuesday-Friday I have what I assume are withdrawal symptoms over the 2-3 days I'm not drinking (headaches).

100% agree. Mommy wine culture is scary imo.

I am assuming you would get withdrawals from 2 bottles a night.

She said about two bottles per night, every night, later on in the thread.

What level? She didn't say a word about how much, just how often.

Step 1. Make a decision to stop drinking on any specific day
Step 2. Listen to the 7-minute long NASA theta brainwaves music on YouTube before you sleep (other theta brainwave music is available)
Step 3. Make an (honest) diary about your alcohol-free experience
Step 4. Continue steps 2 and 3 daily (step 2 may become superfluous after a few days)

I did this (having drunk at least a whole bottle of wine, sometimes two, per night for more than the past 30 years)
I can honestly say that I haven’t even craved a glass of wine since I started, and I’m now 182 days sober…
The last bottle I bought in March is still unopened in the fridge!
Bonus: I have so much more money available now - I’m saving up for a holiday…

Could you try adding a few ice cubes to your wine? And then try not to refill until the ice is all melted. That will slow you down quite a bit and help with starting to cut down. You get used to it to the flavour. I only ever drink wine with huge ice cubes in now.

Terrible advice! Cold turkey can be fatal at this level of consumption.

Go cold turkey - don't buy it - and get a good amount of exercise so you're physically tired. Accept it may take a little while do adjust. But once you have, you'll sleep, and better quality sleep too.

I was a nightly wine drinker, maybe a large glass or two which I really enjoyed however I started taking Mounjaro recently for weightloss (no debate on this please, it's incidental) and I've not touched a glass of wine since. I haven't missed it and within a week the difference was so noticeable. I don't sleep any better or have better energy levels etc as some say but my skin is glowing, I look 5 years younger, I have colour in my cheeks, I am less bloated and puffy. Enough for me to never want to go back to drinking regularly! I have swapped to a cup of tea and a mini ice-cream.

cold turkey from Heroin is not dangerous, just unpleasant

It is extremely dangerous to stop abruptly if you are a very heavy drinker. The body can shut down. The DTs can cause death if not monitored and given small amounts of alcohol. Like heroin withdrawal. But that's for people on bottles of vodka a day, not half a bottle of wine a night.

@wineoclock123

"DH also drinks, but he has a good few nights off because he works shifts, so can't drink on those nights. "

How about you don't have any wine on those nights too? It'll be a start and you'll experience the lovely feeling of no hangover the next day.
You could also try some Deep Freeze gel massaged into your lower back and neck to relax you before you try to sleep.

I was drinking a v similar amount to you and eventually realised it's a slippery slope that wasn't going to get better unless I quit. No one drinking that amount a night is healthy, or mentally in a good space - it's a depressant. I worried that if my life was broadly fine otherwise, and I was drinking that much, what was going to happen when I was stressed or shit hit the fan? For me - I lurked on the Alcohol Support forum here, full of brilliant women cheering each other on, read Catherine Gray's book Unexpected Joy of Being Sober and committed to just doing it. Tried AA but it wasn't for me. It was really hard but life is so so much better. If you're posting about it, I definitely recommend a break - maybe three months to see how you feel? Good luck!!

Yes trying is lying. I haven’t drank that much alcohol but never experienced withdrawal as such. Just got a takeaway on those nights as my association is with cooking.

I didn’t drink Friday, Saturday or Sunday.
i had a bottle last night and felt like shit this morning so I really do feel like I want to give up

How much do you drink?

honestly come to think of it, most people I know would not manage a week without a drink which is appalling

I know I drink more than I should, but 2 bottles per night is a lot

Can you manage one night without? Just one night. That's all. And come back tomorrow to let us know if you were able to do that

Of course there are reasons why people drink - and emotional sobriety (ie dealing with those reasons) is as critical as physical sobriety (I.e abstinence) to long term success. Drinking patterns are neural pathways, you have basically trained your brain and your subconscious vs willpower is very likely to win unless you retrain your brain. There’s a lot of really good quit lit, some of which has been mentioned. If nothing else, start reading it because it will start to affect the way you think about alcohol and that’s the change that really helps at the subconscious level.

Do come join in the alcohol support board, there’s a lot of very experienced people at all stages and having a supportive community (AA or otherwise) is really important.

I very much doubt you are “sleeping” at all on 2 bottles, so I echo the power through the no sleep comments until you re-set a bit but I am not sure about going cold turkey on 2 bottles a night. It’s quite a lot and, for the hard of thinking up thread, total sudden abstinence from significant amounts can be dangerous and can induce seizures. You might be totally fine, but it might be wise to consider a plan for a more gradual reduction and then quit completely (but by gradual I mean days, not months!). It’ll be the best thing you do, I promise you!

You could try drinking soda water with a few drops of lemon and a couple of drops of angostura bitters in a wine glass. Yes the bitters are alcoholic but mixed with a large amount of water it still feels like a grown up treat drink.

I stopped drinking alcohol for 3 months from January this year and found it okay.

It is a dangerous cycle to get into. Do you want to break it?

Assuming you aren't physically dependent on alcohol (if you are then you will need medical help to stop), you could:

Try gentle exercise
Treat yourself to a hot choc or other lovely alcohol free drink/treat
Explore some sober literature or podcasts
Consider AA and/or counselling

I gave up drinking a couple of months ago. You do have to expect and accept some disruption, especially to sleep, but it is worth it. I feel much better overall.

There's all kinds of help out there op, if you want it.